Almost 4 year old doesn’t answer questions right

[Anonymous]

My child’s preschool teacher wants us to our DD evaluated for a receptive delay. She speaks well but sometimes doesn’t respond to people correctly. For example when picking up one day, the kids were celebrating one of the kids birthday. The kids were all sharing when their birthday is or at least trying to describe when it is “mine is after Christmas.” “Mine is in may the same as mommy.” One of the kids asked my daughter and she responded with 4, because she will be 4. One of the girls said “noooo when is your birthday” and she simply responded 4 again. We haven’t really taught her when Birthday is but I’m also not sure she understood the question. I should also say there have been times where the teacher has shared something that my daughter has told them and it was completely inaccurate. She told them once we don’t celebrate Christmas or have a Christmas tree (not true) and that we have two cats (we just have a dog. What concerns them the most is that when asked a question with two choices she is usually just says whatever the last choice was. Such as, do you eat breakfast in the morning or at night, she would respond “at night.” She also struggles with words like first, last, more, less, above, below, etc. Is this normal for a 4 yr old? I’m embarrassed that we never noticed a problem.

[Anonymous]

Kids can be idiosyncratic, and it's hard to know what is or isn't a "problem." But if your preschool teacher is suggesting it, I would absolutely do an evaluation. There's no downside to doing it, in my opinion. Preschool teachers see a lot of kids and know what is within the "norm." That doesn't mean they are always right, but they know a lot more than an individual parent does in terms of comparing development between kids. If you were just saying, "Hey, I've noticed this, but I don't see a lot of 4 year olds, so I'm not sure it's normal," I would think twice, but if the preschool teacher is seeing it, then it's something to look into.

[Anonymous]

My highly verbal 4 year old would always pick the last choice. It made it easy to offer him a choice, Do you want X or Y? when I wanted to give him Y.

My less highly verbal but highly imaginative child says what he wants reality to be, rather than what it is. He would happily tell his teacher that we have a cat (we have a dog) or that we didn't celebrate Christmas this year (we did). She may just be saying what she wants rather than saying the answer to a question.

However, I wouldn't ignore the preschool teacher's advice. If you agree that an evaluation couldn't hurt, then get one.

[Anonymous]

Have you had her hearing checked lately?

[Anonymous]

My highly verbal 3.5yr old mixes things up all the time.
If it is still light outside when I pick him up he says “it’s morning!”
He says “after nap” for waking up both morning and nap. He calls all meals lunch.

Walking out of preschool yesterday I heard a 4yr old ask his mom “is it almost autumn?” In response to her saying how cold it was outside.

My son uses the words yesterday and tomorrow loosely to mean past and future. He sometimes says he’s 4 because he has been going to a lot of 4yr old BD parties.

His name is Micheal James. His brother is Ethan Edward. He thinks his name is Micheal James Edward nickname last name. If you tell him “no Edward is Ethan’s name” he will cry and insist you are wrong. For a long time he would cry when I said our last name started with B because his teacher told him “B is for Benjamin” and he thought it couldn’t be both.

Kids are weird.

[Anonymous]

My very smart and verbal 4 year old (99th% according to school district testing) doesn't know what month birthday is in, just that it's around the same time of year as sibling's birthday, so I think you're probably fine with that. But the breakfast in the morning thing is weird, I think even my academically more average 2 year old would answer that correctly.

Maybe since it's the last option your child is just trying to be agreeable though. Some kids are funny like that, and still developing confidence. I wouldn't be panicked about it but I'd definitely get the school to do their testing. It may actually be a hearing issue, and they'll rule that out first.

[Anonymous]

My otherwise sharp almost 4 yo wouldn't know what to answer either. His BD is not anywhere near Christmas or any other major holiday. He memorized months of the year, but I doubt he fully comprehends how a calendar works yet.

Sometimes kids feel they're being tested and do their best to throw off the tester. I get a kick out of discussing DS's progress with the teacher. She tells me he "occasionally simulates" reading. I don't bother to explain that he's been reading his own bed-time stories for about a year now. She sees what she sees, and I see what I see. If you see a problem, have a specialist look into it. Otherwise, take a teacher's recommendation with a grain of salt. They mean well, but most of them know squat.

[Anonymous]

I would do a speech evaluation and hearing check. People mistake kids being fully verbal with understanding. Expressive and receptive language are very different and just because you have a highly verbal child (expressive) does not mean they understand (receptive). It may be nothing but if it is something at 4, you want to do speech therapy and work on it or its going to impact her long term. Its also important to get a hearing check with a speech evaluation. Some do not suggest it but its a bad practice not to. teacher made a good suggestion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My otherwise sharp almost 4 yo wouldn't know what to answer either. His BD is not anywhere near Christmas or any other major holiday. He memorized months of the year, but I doubt he fully comprehends how a calendar works yet.

Sometimes kids feel they're being tested and do their best to throw off the tester. I get a kick out of discussing DS's progress with the teacher. She tells me he "occasionally simulates" reading. I don't bother to explain that he's been reading his own bed-time stories for about a year now. She sees what she sees, and I see what I see. If you see a problem, have a specialist look into it. Otherwise, take a teacher's recommendation with a grain of salt. They mean well, but most of them know squat.

Don't minimize the issue. You really could be hurting a child long term. This isn't about reading or simulating. You don't get language disorders and maybe the teacher has had experience in them. If the teacher used receptive language as key terms, I'm very impressed.

[Anonymous]

Get an eval. When the school suggests one, tou generally should. She sounds like my son who was thought to have a mild receptive delay and we know now has poor working memory.

[Anonymous]

I agree with PPs, it's worth getting an evaluation. Most likely absolutely nothing, but if it is something, it's good to get started on it early.

FWIW, my DS used to do things like sharing something that was completely inaccurate in preschool. He told them he was allergic to strawberries, not true. He told them we had two dogs and a cat (not true). This went on for I dunno, half of a year, and then he stopped.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My otherwise sharp almost 4 yo wouldn't know what to answer either. His BD is not anywhere near Christmas or any other major holiday. He memorized months of the year, but I doubt he fully comprehends how a calendar works yet.

Sometimes kids feel they're being tested and do their best to throw off the tester. I get a kick out of discussing DS's progress with the teacher. She tells me he "occasionally simulates" reading. I don't bother to explain that he's been reading his own bed-time stories for about a year now. She sees what she sees, and I see what I see. If you see a problem, have a specialist look into it. Otherwise, take a teacher's recommendation with a grain of salt. They mean well, but most of them know squat.

Don't minimize the issue. You really could be hurting a child long term. This isn't about reading or simulating. You don't get language disorders and maybe the teacher has had experience in them. If the teacher used receptive language as key terms, I'm very impressed.

Anybody who can read online can use these terms. They're not hard to remember and use. It's not the point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My child’s preschool teacher wants us to our DD evaluated for a receptive delay. She speaks well but sometimes doesn’t respond to people correctly. For example when picking up one day, the kids were celebrating one of the kids birthday. The kids were all sharing when their birthday is or at least trying to describe when it is “mine is after Christmas.” “Mine is in may the same as mommy.” One of the kids asked my daughter and she responded with 4, because she will be 4. One of the girls said “noooo when is your birthday” and she simply responded 4 again. We haven’t really taught her when Birthday is but I’m also not sure she understood the question. I should also say there have been times where the teacher has shared something that my daughter has told them and it was completely inaccurate. She told them once we don’t celebrate Christmas or have a Christmas tree (not true) and that we have two cats (we just have a dog. What concerns them the most is that when asked a question with two choices she is usually just says whatever the last choice was. Such as, do you eat breakfast in the morning or at night, she would respond “at night.” She also struggles with words like first, last, more, less, above, below, etc. Is this normal for a 4 yr old? I’m embarrassed that we never noticed a problem.

It's hard to keep up with everything that is happening, so I wouldn't worry about the fact that you didn't notice... that's why it's good for your child to have a community of caregivers, to pick up on different things. I don't have a lot of experience with this age group but my 4 year old and his friends definitely have long conversations about birthdays and plans. They know when their birthdays are (date), they know months of holidays, they have a sense of relative time and sequence. Again, I'm not saying it's abnormal to be 4 and not know since development is so uneven at this age. But like others say it might be good to have an evaluation. And start talking with her about time and calendars and things like that.

[Anonymous]

I would get an eval. They are free and easy, and I know that I wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about it until a pro has told me all was fine. I am not a worrier, but this is worth checking out just to be sure.

[Anonymous]

Get an eval but the not knowing when her birthday is is normal. If you ask her if she wants a cookie or peas, how does she answer? Or if you say do you want to watch tv or go to bed?