DS spending money on girlfriend

[Anonymous]

Think DS's girlfriend might be using him, not sure if I should say anything or what I should say. They are in college. He pays for everything. From expensive dinners to coffee at Starbucks. They are going on Spring Break together and I am pretty sure he is footing the bill for the trip. Not sure at this age on his summer income that this appropriate.

[Anonymous]

It’s his money, right? And potentially his lesson to learn, if your fears are true. You could tell him that since he has so much disposal income you will contribute less (if you are supporting him) but it would be a mistake to mention the girlfriend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s his money, right? And potentially his lesson to learn, if your fears are true. You could tell him that since he has so much disposal income you will contribute less (if you are supporting him) but it would be a mistake to mention the girlfriend.

+1. You can’t lecture about his money.

[Anonymous]

ask him...

mention that fact that he's not making much over the summer and that paying for all his GF expenditures could result in him not having enough funds to cover his expenses later in the year.

what is the college situation payment wise. loans, mom/dad, ect. do some simple math for him. 5 bucks a day at Starbucks is setting him back nearly 2,000 a year...

and lets be honest. moms always think that the little gold digger whore has her meat hooks in dear little innocent johnny...

[Anonymous]

I tend to agree that at this point, this is his lesson to learn, even if he learns it the hard way. How old are they? You can try casually suggesting that he saves some money or that at this point in the relationship, they should start splitting the bill, but other than that, there’s not much you can do.

[Anonymous]

College is when kids start to sign up for all those easy access credit cards.

I would make sure he is not opening up a bunch of credit cards and maxing them out to impress her (like paying for a spring break trip).

I seriously doubt he is using his summer job money to pay for all this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s his money, right? And potentially his lesson to learn, if your fears are true. You could tell him that since he has so much disposal income you will contribute less (if you are supporting him) but it would be a mistake to mention the girlfriend.

+1. You can’t lecture about his money.

+2 And suggesting that his girlfriend is just using him is really out of bounds, and will backfire spectacularly. Better to ask him something general, like how his finances are holding up, whether his savings are covering all his expenses, etc.

[Anonymous]

Another questions is why? Where did he get the idea that this is appropriate? Did he learn that the man always pays? Did he learn that money buys you love? Did he learn that money is no object and generosity is a virtue?

I'd be asking why, and may you will be happy with his answer (generosity) and maybe you won't (sexist).

[Anonymous]

I’d say this is also a gentle relationship talk. You coujd discuss healthy dynamics regarding finances and power. Also have him talk to an adult who is still paying off student loans, and walk through the math of compound interest. Discuss that in connection with his spending and financ s now, as a student. Also, I don’t know what he makes per hour, but those fancy dinners likely represent hours of his time. College students don’t need fancy dinners, and his girlfriend needs to start paying half the time.

[Anonymous]

He also might be selling weed. A lot of kids (especially boys) make a few extra hundred bucks a month/week in college this way. Its always amazing to me how many parents forget this as well all knew 10 guys like this ourselves in college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another questions is why? Where did he get the idea that this is appropriate? Did he learn that the man always pays? Did he learn that money buys you love? Did he learn that money is no object and generosity is a virtue?

I'd be asking why, and may you will be happy with his answer (generosity) and maybe you won't (sexist).

sexist?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another questions is why? Where did he get the idea that this is appropriate? Did he learn that the man always pays? Did he learn that money buys you love? Did he learn that money is no object and generosity is a virtue?

I'd be asking why, and may you will be happy with his answer (generosity) and maybe you won't (sexist).

Why? Because she puts out obviously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s his money, right? And potentially his lesson to learn, if your fears are true. You could tell him that since he has so much disposal income you will contribute less (if you are supporting him) but it would be a mistake to mention the girlfriend.

+1. You can’t lecture about his money.

But I, too, wonder why your college kid has so much change in his pocket.

My brother's girlfriend's family thought he was really cheap because he didn't give her nice gifts. We thought it was funny because why would a college kid be able to buy nice gifts... the era has changed, but families differ.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But I, too, wonder why your college kid has so much change in his pocket.

My brother's girlfriend's family thought he was really cheap because he didn't give her nice gifts. We thought it was funny because why would a college kid be able to buy nice gifts... the era has changed, but families differ.

Because easy credits are everywhere on campus. Who is still using cash these days? I think the last time I actually touch paper money was a year ago.

Welcome to cashless society and soon to be crypto currencies world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Think DS's girlfriend might be using him, not sure if I should say anything or what I should say. They are in college. He pays for everything. From expensive dinners to coffee at Starbucks. They are going on Spring Break together and I am pretty sure he is footing the bill for the trip. Not sure at this age on his summer income that this appropriate.

Same issue with my son and I resolved this issue very quickly. I hired a college female escort and asked her to pretend to date my son without him knowing. She is much prettier than the GF he had at the time. They hung out for about three weeks and she paid for half the date every time they went out and taught him that any girls expecting the date to be paid was just using him unless the girl is serious with him. He learned a valuable lesson. Worth the money I spent.