What is an affair?

[Anonymous]

I am interest in what other people think of as an affair vs. cheating.

I kind of view an affair as an emotional relationship that goes physical.

Cheating is any exchange of bodily fluids. Cheating can be anything from an affair to a ONS to a 'happy ending'.

By my definition an affair is a bigger issue than cheating (since it includes cheating, but cheating may not be emotional).

[Anonymous]

Well, they're equal in my book.

[Anonymous]

An affair = secrets. If you can't be open about who you're spending time with, then it's an affair. It doesn't mean you have to tell your spouse every tiny details about where you go, and with whom you're going with. But if you feel like you need to keep it separate, it's affair territory.

[Anonymous]

If you have to ask, you’re considering doing it.

People on the up and up don’t spend time parsing out what is and is not ethical behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am interest in what other people think of as an affair vs. cheating.

I kind of view an affair as an emotional relationship that goes physical.

Cheating is any exchange of bodily fluids. Cheating can be anything from an affair to a ONS to a 'happy ending'.

By my definition an affair is a bigger issue than cheating (since it includes cheating, but cheating may not be emotional).

I would revise your definition of cheating to specify that "Cheating is any exchange of bodily fluids without your partner's knowledge"

[Anonymous]

I agree it is the secrecy. Sharing emotional, physical or sexual intimacy with another person without your spiuse's coins net or knowledge.

[Anonymous]

physical affair- ongoing sex (penetrative, oral) without your partner's knowledge and agreement

emotional affair- when you're putting emotional energy into a relationship that should be reserved for your partner

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am interest in what other people think of as an affair vs. cheating.

I kind of view an affair as an emotional relationship that goes physical.

Cheating is any exchange of bodily fluids. Cheating can be anything from an affair to a ONS to a 'happy ending'.

By my definition an affair is a bigger issue than cheating (since it includes cheating, but cheating may not be emotional).

Cool -- so if we use a condom, then I ain't cheatin'... got it, thanks!

[Anonymous]

If you wouldn't want your spouse to know about it, you're already having an affair. It doesn't have to be physical. Even something that never crosses that line can break a heart.

[Anonymous]

The only difference between the two to me is duration. An affair connotes ongoing, repeated, long-term cheating. And really I only make this distinction when pressed, I think most people view and use them interchangeably.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only difference between the two to me is duration. An affair connotes ongoing, repeated, long-term cheating. And really I only make this distinction when pressed, I think most people view and use them interchangeably.

I think that's right.

When someone says "he cheated on me" I don't reach a conclusion as to whether it's a one night stand or a long term thing. It *does* mean he had sex. I don't think people say "he cheated on me" to describe an emotional affair.

If someone says "he had an affair," I hear that as a relationship, more than a one-night-stand. I think most times I'd conclude there was sex, and that they'd say "emotional affair" if that's what they meant.

Both are infidelity. Both are adultery. I think many people could forgive a one night stand as a slip-up. A long-term affair involves long-term deceit, which might end it for many more people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only difference between the two to me is duration. An affair connotes ongoing, repeated, long-term cheating. And really I only make this distinction when pressed, I think most people view and use them interchangeably.

I think that's right.

When someone says "he cheated on me" I don't reach a conclusion as to whether it's a one night stand or a long term thing. It *does* mean he had sex. I don't think people say "he cheated on me" to describe an emotional affair.

If someone says "he had an affair," I hear that as a relationship, more than a one-night-stand. I think most times I'd conclude there was sex, and that they'd say "emotional affair" if that's what they meant.

Both are infidelity. Both are adultery. I think many people could forgive a one night stand as a slip-up. A long-term affair involves long-term deceit, which might end it for many more people.

+1 to all.