Have to put one dog down - how do we help other dog cope?

[Anonymous]

This may seem like a strange question but we are really at a loss.

We have two Frenchies – they are siblings from the same litter. They are very close and never that far from each other.

Well, one has cancer and the vet has suggested that we think about putter her down soon. She is in a lot of pain and is not herself. Her brother is trying to urge her to walk and play. He knows something is wrong but he seems like he is trying to process everything.

We are trying to figure everything out. One vet suggested separating them for a period prior to the procedure. Another said the opposite – even suggesting we have it done at home and allow him to be present. And how do we help him once she is gone? I am sorry if I am all over the place. I am devastated.

[Anonymous]

I am so sorry you're going through this. I do think if he is there, in your home while it happens he will at least fully understand what he sees. He will be sad, but less confused that way.

[Anonymous]

Get him a new dog companion.

[Anonymous]

Not quite the same situation - but our 1 year old pup went to "camp" for a week after our senior dog was put down. She never seemed to miss a beat (or even look for senior pup) upon her return. I know yours are close buddies, so again, not the same situation, but a stay-away situation might really help. You guys should also go away for a night or two to stay out of the house if possible.

[Anonymous]

We’ve been in the situation a couple of times. It has always surprised me how sort of cold the surviving dogs acts toward the situation after having had to put down their sibling. In both cases the survivor literally gave the pass d dog a sniff and asked away as if they just sniffed a boring old blade of grass. I believe dogs understand when the time has come better than we do and they don’t have as much trouble letting go.

I’m very sorry for your loss though. In one set of our dogs (sisters) we thought the survivor would be heartbroken when her sister died. She actually blossomed! And lived another 5 years!!! She’s 15.

Dr. Solomon Perl will do at home euthanasia for a sick pet. He’s great and will even transport the body for cremation or disposal.

[Anonymous]

Oh OP, I know You and Yours are hurting on several levels <3

My boyfriend's dog was at a complete loss when his older companion passed - she was the alpha of the two. At first, nothing he did could console his pup - prior to this, the dog was completely content to be crated during the day. On a whim, he started letting the dog out of the crate and it changed everything almost over-night.

So I'm unsure how any of this may apply to you but perhaps the lesson is to have things around that still remind him of his sister - my boyfriend thinks his dog just needed the freedom to fully accept the other's death.

Perhaps it will be a one-day-at-a-time thing... I don't know; I just wish you didn't have to go through it.

[Anonymous]

Oh, so sad. Yes, they do grieve.He may need to see her after the death to understand. We were never able to pull that off, but it is healthier for your dog.
You have my sympathies. It is as hard as losing any family member.

[Anonymous]

I vote that you do it at home, and let the sibling dog be there for it. They need to sniff and understand that their family member died.

Animals absolutely understand death. I'd ask the vet who said the healthy sibling should be there, how to help that dog to grieve afterwards. Give them the other dog's favorite toy, or no? Distract them with extra walks and playing and love, or give them space to be sad alone? Stuff like that.

[Anonymous]

We just went thorough this with litter mates, when we had to put one down. The surviving dog was never himself. It was heartbreaking. We gave him a lot of attention and brought him everywhere with us, which helped some. So sorry.

[Anonymous]

I would definitely let him be there.
There will be a grieving process.

[Anonymous]

This makes me so sad. I have two dogs and they are 6 and 10. The 6 year old is very loyal, loving, and sensitive and I know when the time comes for the older dog, he will be so heartbroken. He cries when she goes to her vet appointment without him.

[Anonymous]

I just went thru this same situation about 8 months ago.
My Chessie died of cancer at age 13. My Lab is a year younger. The Lab just moped around here for 3 months, until we took in another rescue. The new dog has buddied up with my old Lab, and they are good friends now.
My Lab went from sad to glad over 2-3 months.

The problem is now my Lab is ending his days & the new dog will have to go thru this too. The only solution is to get another dog. Perhaps a rescue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We just went thorough this with litter mates, when we had to put one down. The surviving dog was never himself. It was heartbreaking. We gave him a lot of attention and brought him everywhere with us, which helped some. So sorry.

Same here. We try to take he everywhere with us - car rides to pick up the kids, etc. but 6 months later she is still really depressed. Stays under the bed unless she is with us.

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry you're going through this, OP. I had two dogs (not siblings), and I put the older one down at the vet. I came home without him and the younger one spent a while looking for him. He destroyed the couch a day or two afterwards, but then seemed to recover. I do think it could be helpful for them to be together when you put the one down. Hugs to you.

[Anonymous]

Similar situation. We had a vet come to our house and put the one dog down while the other watched. The other curled up next to his dead sister and sniffed her. We didn't plan it this way, but I wonder if it helped the one dog cope. He did mope for several months and became really scared of things. I think sister gave him courage to bark at the door or to go on walks.

Similarly they had a 3rd sister who had died at home peacefully in her sleep. I think those two knew what happened and that she was sick.