Can a boss tell you to go to therapy?

[Anonymous]

I’m having a huge issue at work, that keeps getting ignored. Boss keeps telling me she is going to get back to me with a plan, but then never does. This has been an issue since September. Other employees no this is an issue but it doesn’t affect them directly as it does me. I tried to bring it up again and was told I’m not giving her enough time and if it’s bothering me this much then I should see a therapist and not to mention it to her again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m having a huge issue at work, that keeps getting ignored. Boss keeps telling me she is going to get back to me with a plan, but then never does. This has been an issue since September. Other employees no this is an issue but it doesn’t affect them directly as it does me. I tried to bring it up again and was told I’m not giving her enough time and if it’s bothering me this much then I should see a therapist and not to mention it to her again.

Not enough information, but based on what you've typed here it sounds like the boss's suggestion is a good one. Many employers have Employee Assistance programs that include free counseling for a number of sessions. If your challenges are psychological, then it's probably the case that you SHOULD see a therapist and stop expecting the boss to fix it. But it probably depends on what, exactly, the work issue is.

[Anonymous]

My boss once recommended therapy, albeit much more gently. Best thing I ever did.
I also suspect OP that this is your bosses way of telling you to get used to whatever it is that's happening now, because it's not changing anytime soon, if at all.

[Anonymous]

The issue is a coworker that keeps getting confused, forgets everything, and doesn’t seem to understand when people try to help her. I end up having to my work, her work, and attempt to teach her how to do her work(though she never gets it.) I am breaking under the stress and my boss just says they haven’t come up with a solution yet, though it has been like this since I started working with her in September.

[Anonymous]

Either of two things are happening: 1) your boss is working on a PIP or similar to get rid of the underperforming employee and can’t tell you for obvious reasons or 2) she doesn't think it’s a problem and doesn’t care that you are working two jobs. The fact that she told you to get therapy to “deal with it” means that at a minimum, the situation will not be resolved in the near future, if at all.

[Anonymous]

Could it be that you are just impatient? Have you considered that maybe it’s just your opinion that she isn’t “getting it”?

Hence the boss and other coworkers not being concerned.

Does your job have a huge learning curve? If so, it’s like that she is learning it’s just not at a pace you’d like her to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Either of two things are happening: 1) your boss is working on a PIP or similar to get rid of the underperforming employee and can’t tell you for obvious reasons or 2) she doesn't think it’s a problem and doesn’t care that you are working two jobs. The fact that she told you to get therapy to “deal with it” means that at a minimum, the situation will not be resolved in the near future, if at all.

Or, the employee has dementia or some other disorder and they are working through (probably very complicated and sensitive) ADA accommodation issues. You harping on it won't change anything or make them move faster.

[Anonymous]

OP, why not find another job?

[Anonymous]

It doesn't sound like she told you to go to therapy (as in ordered you to go). It sounds like she gave you a suggestion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The issue is a coworker that keeps getting confused, forgets everything, and doesn’t seem to understand when people try to help her. I end up having to my work, her work, and attempt to teach her how to do her work(though she never gets it.) I am breaking under the stress and my boss just says they haven’t come up with a solution yet, though it has been like this since I started working with her in September.

Why on earth are you trying to teach her how to do her work? Why are you doing it? Yeah, I’d be frustrated to if I was creating more work for myself. Let this employee fail. Let your boss deal with the co-worker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The issue is a coworker that keeps getting confused, forgets everything, and doesn’t seem to understand when people try to help her. I end up having to my work, her work, and attempt to teach her how to do her work(though she never gets it.) I am breaking under the stress and my boss just says they haven’t come up with a solution yet, though it has been like this since I started working with her in September.

OP, it's possible your coworker has a disability that is causing the confusion. If that is the case, your boss needs to be careful because there are some legal issues. Aside from that, your boss cannot discuss with you any action she is taking with regard to your coworker b/c it is none of your business.

While I don't think it was appropriate for your boss to suggest therapy, I do think that you need to take a step back. Instead of going to your boss and complaining about your coworker, let your boss know that some assignments will be done late because you are assisting your coworker.

You need to make this less about your coworker and more about getting either additional assistance or fewer assignments.

[Anonymous]

The therapy comment was out of line, IMO. The way you describe it, it was not an actual suggestion that you go to therapy but instead a rude way to say you are annoying your boss with this question.

Take a step back, make a list of what you think are your duties, and ask your boss to verify that those are your duties and priorities. Once your duties are clear, then:
If your co-worker is showing up at your desk because you have always been the helpful one, redirect her to your boss -- "I'd love to help you but I really need to focus on X. You should check with Boss about this issue."
If your Boss directs you to help co-worker, say ok but ask which of your other work should be delayed -- "Happy to, Boss, but to help Larla I will need to delay X until next week. Is that what you'd like me to do?" Request overtime as appropriate.
If you just need your co-worker to do her job so that you can do yours, let your boss know when the work is going to be late -- "Boss, just wanted to give you a status update: I have finished X and Y, but I can't deliver those to you until Larla finishes Z. I don't have a date on that yet."
If you are officially responsible for your co-worker's performance in some way, then you document all the time you have to take to help / train. Similar to the above -- "Boss, I spent 25 hours helping Larla this week. As a result, I was not able to work on X."

[Anonymous]

What would happen if you stopped doing the other person's work?

[Anonymous]

Your boss sounds rude and inconsiderate. I don't think the therapy suggestion was real -- I think it was just meant as "back off."