Screwed up my protocol. Didn’t have drugs while traveling

[Anonymous]

This is my 3rd attempt to transfer
I’m going for a sibling
I keep messing up my protocol, and this time I’m considering not telling the dr and just going forward. I’m
Starting to think this may be subconscious. I’m thinking I may not truly want a second. I started lupron 4 days too soon this time, AND I forgot my final 2 injections of it. So I definitely had over 2 weeks of lupron suppression- but the timing is not correct. I also keep forgetting my mid day estrogen pill.
Supposedly my last monitoring looked great, and I’m supposed to transfer early next week.

I’m not even sure what I’m asking here.
I’m stressed to death about this, mainly because I’m afraid I’m going to get “busted” at my transfer. Something will be wrong ( I’m guessing I’m concerned about ovulation ) and I’ll have to explain to my husband that I’ve botched this.

Marriage is fine. I’m just extremely conflcted. I should also add- Our embryos are in a different state than we are and I’ve been flying back and forth for this stuff. Hence, I forgot to bring my lupron this last time ( missed 2 injections)

[Anonymous]

You should talk to your RE. It sounds to me you don’t really want another as this is your third attempt at transfer. And it’s ok not to have a sibling for your child.

[Anonymous]

I had more than 3 transfers. I think screwing up the protocol is the issue that says she may not be truly in it.
I was serious with every transfer.

[Anonymous]

Agree with PPs. I was relentlessly focused on protocol. Probably the most focused I've been on anything my entire life. The dominant thought in my brain every day I was doing it. I don't think you want this, and that's 100% okay.

[Anonymous]

Do you have ADHD?

[Anonymous]

That sounds tough, OP, with the flying back and forth. You may be subconsciously conflicted (or angry...after I'd been through several cycles I realized I had a certain amount of anger and resentment starting to build up, at no one or thing in particular, just over having to deal with all of it), I suppose, but you could also just be feeling the effects of the meds. They can do a number on anyone's brain, even without the added factors of travel and having one young child at home. And all of us forget things sometimes - yes, even two days in a row.

Anyway, Lupron suppression is pretty strong and missing a dose or two likely won't have much effect, nor will an estrogen pill or two. None of it's precise anyway. If you want to give your transfer a try, I wouldn't even bother telling the doctor. If things look really off they can always call it off at which point you can just let everyone assume things went wrong as they sometimes do. It's ok to just keep this to yourself this once. It's your body. Be gentle with yourself. Sending you lots of good wishes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That sounds tough, OP, with the flying back and forth. You may be subconsciously conflicted (or angry...after I'd been through several cycles I realized I had a certain amount of anger and resentment starting to build up, at no one or thing in particular, just over having to deal with all of it), I suppose, but you could also just be feeling the effects of the meds. They can do a number on anyone's brain, even without the added factors of travel and having one young child at home. And all of us forget things sometimes - yes, even two days in a row.

Anyway, Lupron suppression is pretty strong and missing a dose or two likely won't have much effect, nor will an estrogen pill or two. None of it's precise anyway. If you want to give your transfer a try, I wouldn't even bother telling the doctor. If things look really off they can always call it off at which point you can just let everyone assume things went wrong as they sometimes do. It's ok to just keep this to yourself this once. It's your body. Be gentle with yourself. Sending you lots of good wishes.

Thank you for this. I never considered anger, but I do think I have some buried resentment. It’s so true that it’s not directed at anyone or anything. It’s just a general feeling. Of course progesterone does not help me with that. I have really noticed the drugs more and more. They absolutely take a toll.
I really appreciated your response. It has calmed me down considerably.

[Anonymous]

OP they will just extend the number of injections to get you ready. Don’t worry.

[Anonymous]

Op here with an update:
Had my transfer today. Apparently I looked fine to proceed. Hopefully I didn’t sabotage things too badly, because the embryo didn’t survive the thaw, so they had to move on to my last embryo.

[Anonymous]

Just FYI-

My screw up did not impact my transfer.

Hcg 926 14 days after transfer
HCG 2600 16 days

I don’t advise messing up your protocol, but thought I’d let future posters know the deal.
Thanks.

[Anonymous]

That is great! I saw this in January and it made my stomach sink a little. I'm glad it turned out okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is my 3rd attempt to transfer
I’m going for a sibling
I keep messing up my protocol, and this time I’m considering not telling the dr and just going forward. I’m
Starting to think this may be subconscious. I’m thinking I may not truly want a second. I started lupron 4 days too soon this time, AND I forgot my final 2 injections of it. So I definitely had over 2 weeks of lupron suppression- but the timing is not correct. I also keep forgetting my mid day estrogen pill.
Supposedly my last monitoring looked great, and I’m supposed to transfer early next week.

I’m not even sure what I’m asking here.
I’m stressed to death about this, mainly because I’m afraid I’m going to get “busted” at my transfer. Something will be wrong ( I’m guessing I’m concerned about ovulation ) and I’ll have to explain to my husband that I’ve botched this.

Marriage is fine. I’m just extremely conflcted. I should also add- Our embryos are in a different state than we are and I’ve been flying back and forth for this stuff. Hence, I forgot to bring my lupron this last time ( missed 2 injections)

Not wanting a sibling is ok. Botching things and laying to your DH is wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just FYI-

My screw up did not impact my transfer.

Hcg 926 14 days after transfer
HCG 2600 16 days

I don’t advise messing up your protocol, but thought I’d let future posters know the deal.
Thanks.

Great update, OP!

[Anonymous]

That's great OP!!

[Anonymous]

Glad I followed my protocol to a tee and had a failed cycle.