Sister complaining she didn't "have fun" on her Xmas visit. I was sick, but tried.

[Anonymous]

She came for two weeks without family. We did a lot, including a two-night trip to an area resort town, several Xmas parties, lots of X with grandkids, lots of great food. I was not in great form as I thought I was sick and pretty weak throughout the visit (found out I had severe anemia after she left) but her attitude gripes me. Her airfare was expensive because she waited until the last minute to book trip. She had NO other expenses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She came for two weeks without family. We did a lot, including a two-night trip to an area resort town, several Xmas parties, lots of X with grandkids, lots of great food. I was not in great form as I thought I was sick and pretty weak throughout the visit (found out I had severe anemia after she left) but her attitude gripes me. Her airfare was expensive because she waited until the last minute to book trip. She had NO other expenses.

you did X with the grandkids? How fun! Did she partake?

[Anonymous]

OK, so what? So she's complaining a bit. She sounds immature and entitled. Why do you care? You know you did your best. You didn't book those tickets at that time.

So what?

[Anonymous]

Ignore her and don't talk about it again

[Anonymous]

OP, I think you posted about your sister before? Are you the one whose sister keeps asking for your possessions? You need to limit time with her for your own sanity.

[Anonymous]

Have you asked her what she wishes you would have done to make the trip more "fun"? When someone throws that attitude come back at them very sweetly and ask them to help plan the next function so it isn't boring. Now it isn't your job to be in charge of it all.

[Anonymous]

Tell that you are sorry that she did not have more fun and ask her to be the host next time so that she can show you how it's done.

The End.

[Anonymous]

So? You need to fire some shots across her bow. Tell her her airfare cost a lot because she waited, it’s not your job to make sure she has fun, you are offended by her snotty attitude and she is not invited next year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think you posted about your sister before? Are you the one whose sister keeps asking for your possessions? You need to limit time with her for your own sanity.

I wondered this as well. I remember (and replied to) the post by the woman whose sister nags until given whatever she likes.

Is that you, OP?

If not, well, feeling stressed by your selfish sister is not going to do your illness any good. She does not live close by -- just focus on the fact that it's a benefit to you that she is not local and can't just drop in. If she's complaining by phone: Let the calls roll to voicemail and don't respond until YOU have something to talk about with her; don't call her back just to say, "I'm sorry" or to try to explain to her. If she's texting or e-mailing, and you don't want to go so far as blocking her, can you find a way for her messages to roll to a folder set up just for her stuff? So you don't see them when they arrive but only when you choose to go look at them later? Then read it in a few weeks. When you get back in touch with her, do not explain, but if she asks, tell her you had computer glitches (because you did -- you created them!) and were focused just on learning to live with anemia.

She is self-centered and nothing you can do can change that. It's not your fault or your responsibility that she cannot enjoy things. You could have been feeling great and providing her with perfect, fascinating activities every single day and night and she would still nitpick and say she didn't have enough fun. Think about it. You know she'd do that. I really hope you can let it go and reduce any way in which she can get at you to complain. Not answering the phone is a start.

[Anonymous]

Your sister sounds like a jerk. What are you a cruise director? You have to entertain her and listen to feedback on her experience? Forget that.

[Anonymous]

"It's not my job to make you feel happy, Sis."

[Anonymous]

OP here. Yes, this is the sister who asks for things. I gave her a couple items she asked for but refused others. I was quite ill during the two weeks she was here. I assumed I was recovering from flu.
She doesn't have grandchildren and is estranged from adult children so she wanted to spend time with mine. My close friends invited her out twice when I couldn't go out plus she had use of my car to go wherever. I've worked hard to maintain a relationship with my only living sibling, but blaming me for illness is going too far. No invitation next year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Yes, this is the sister who asks for things. I gave her a couple items she asked for but refused others. I was quite ill during the two weeks she was here. I assumed I was recovering from flu.
She doesn't have grandchildren and is estranged from adult children so she wanted to spend time with mine. My close friends invited her out twice when I couldn't go out plus she had use of my car to go wherever. I've worked hard to maintain a relationship with my only living sibling, but blaming me for illness is going too far. No invitation next year.

We will hold you to that, OP. You have come on here too many times whining about your sister, who is mentally ill. Stop trying to have a relationship with her! Maintain some distance for a couple of years, it will do you good and act as a reset button.