Godparent Conundrum

[Anonymous]

I’m having a hard time picking a godmother for my second child. I don’t have a deep bench since I don’t know a lot of Catholics that live close enough or would be able to travel that I would ask. I picked my best one for my first child.

My options are:
1. Super close friend from college that is almost like family. We only see each other a few times a year but talk almost daily. She isn’t a practicing Catholic but has all of her sacraments which is good enough for me. She would be willing to travel to DC from NYC for the baptism but she is going to be Chicago that weekend (found out via conversation)

2. A newer friend (known her for almost 10 years). She is the wife of my husbands oldest friend but now a friend of mine independently. Our families are very close. She lives 5 minutes away and could attend. She is also a practicing Catholic.

I can’t decide if it should be a make or break thing for having a godmother present. I know the “position” is not just about th day but I feel it is a big part of it.

[Anonymous]

Did you check your church's requirements for godparents? They might have to have a letter from their home parish, in which case #1 might not qualify anyway.

[Anonymous]

Will your church allow two Godmothers?... I had two.

[Anonymous]

I would move my child's baptism to accommodate the godparents I wanted, not choose godparents to go with the date I wanted.

Having said that, what are your religious views and levels of involvement. I'd want a godparent whose views reflected my own. Do you want your child to be involved like the second person, or are you planning on taking them on Christmas and Easter? Which person do you agree with on important theological issues, whether that's abortion, or ordination of women, or whatever?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you check your church's requirements for godparents? They might have to have a letter from their home parish, in which case #1 might not qualify anyway.

I spoke to the church and 1 would qualify.

[Anonymous]

You can always have someone stand in by proxy during the ceremony if the Godparent cannot attend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Will your church allow two Godmothers?... I had two.

They said 1 godparent is all that is necessary but you can have two. We already have a godfather.

[Anonymous]

I would go with 1
Unless 2 husband is the god father

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would move my child's baptism to accommodate the godparents I wanted, not choose godparents to go with the date I wanted.

Having said that, what are your religious views and levels of involvement. I'd want a godparent whose views reflected my own. Do you want your child to be involved like the second person, or are you planning on taking them on Christmas and Easter? Which person do you agree with on important theological issues, whether that's abortion, or ordination of women, or whatever?

I’m a bit of an old school Italian. My first child was baptized at 4 weeks and I would like this one to have been the same but with the holidays and immediate family’s schedule and the church we can’t until 2 months so I don’t want to push it back. Plus it took us a long time to find andate that worked for everyone else. Also 1 travels constantly for work nationally and internationally.

I’m religious and go to church every week. That said, as a liberal person and a lot of cradle Catholics I don’t really buy into a lot of the social teaching. I really just want a good person that I’m close with that respects my beliefs. I respect that the church wants a Catholic but I’m ok if they are lapsed. Outside of some me going to church regularly and her not, I’m more in like with 1s beliefs. 2 is a bit more conservative than I am.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would go with 1
Unless 2 husband is the god father

2s husband is my first child’s godfather not this ones

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can always have someone stand in by proxy during the ceremony if the Godparent cannot attend.

If I did that 2 would be the proxy which started me down this path.