Don't want to rent guest house to relative

[Anonymous]

We have a small 2 bedroom guest house on our property. H and I took it on as a project and have fixed it up ourselves. It was a lot of work but we saved so much money. We learned so much. Because of all the work we did this guest house its kind of like our baby. We want to find the right tenant to live there so we are in no rush. My cousin asked if she could rent it out. It was not even a consideration. She has an on/off husband who she keeps taking back even though he is physically and mentally abusive. Right now she has a RO on him with DV charges pending. She has pets (not allowed in guest house) and her kids are as bad as her pets about destroying stuff. She also has horrible credit. She is currently being garnished for an eviction she had last early last year. With all her issues we don't want her or her kids around outside of family functions. Her H is banned from my house and that will never change.

My SIL and her husband want to move back to the area and inquired about renting the guest house. My H and I talked it over and agreed to rent out the guest house. We are handling this like a business transaction and there will be a lease and everything. I don't know how she found out but now my cousin is making an issue with other family members how I would not rent to her but I had no problem renting to another family member. These 2 relatives are night and day from each other. I don't even know how she can be making an issue of it. When questioned about this said I did not want any of the drama that she brought with her. That caused a huge drama in itself. I am supposedly not being supportive of her. Yes she is a victim of domestic violence but I no longer feel sorry for her. I just don't. She is allowing it to happen over and over again by taking him back. In December he violated the RO and she did not report him to the police.

Then when I got tired of being asked about why I would not rent it to her I started telling people it was none of their damn business. That caused even more drama. I am so tired of this crap.

[Anonymous]

Stand firm. None of these folks volunteered to take her in, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stand firm. None of these folks volunteered to take her in, right?

This. And don't engage any more. "This topic is closed for us."

[Anonymous]

"Sorry Cousin, DH and I had a discussion about our requirements for the tenant, and we put a list together. For example, must have excellent credit, no pets, no previous involvement with the police, among other things. Unfortunately you don't match our criteria. SIL does match our applicant criteria and has agreed to the terms of our lease. We've therefore decided to rent it to her. Good luck with your search!"

And tell anyone who asks the exact same thing.

[Anonymous]

"Because we don't mix family and business. Period." In other words, I think you should rent it to someone else entirely. Since you asked.

[Anonymous]

That’s awful OP. I have some relatives that rival your cousin (two are siblings). My family would support your decision and would be very blunt with the cousin as to why not only you, but no one, would want to rent to her. BTW I might feel for your cousin if this was a crisis for her but it sounds like it’s a lifestyle. Sorry for you. Stay strong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Sorry Cousin, DH and I had a discussion about our requirements for the tenant, and we put a list together. For example, must have excellent credit, no pets, no previous involvement with the police, among other things. Unfortunately you don't match our criteria. SIL does match our applicant criteria and has agreed to the terms of our lease. We've therefore decided to rent it to her. Good luck with your search!"

And tell anyone who asks the exact same thing.

Exactly this.

[Anonymous]

Stay strong, OP.

[Anonymous]

OP, you ever heard the saying "no good deed goes unpunished?" I never believed the skepticism of that saying until I saw relatives with theirs hands out. Awful.

[Anonymous]

Sorry jane we just don't mix family and business.

[Anonymous]

Don’t rent to family. Period. End of story.

[Anonymous]

Lame. Since they're so inoculated against reality, if they keep bothering you I'd just lay out a few truthful lines about your real reasons and see if it shuts them up. Sometimes that can be jarring enough to keep people away.

I hope renting to your SIL won't cause problems. While I agree that mixing family and business is bad, I also believe in helping family, so...tough.

[Anonymous]

No. Don't explain.

[Anonymous]

The simple reply is: "We've got a no pets, no kids lease for the guest house, and cousin has both. SIL and her DH have neither. If we were renting to strangers we'd have the same limitations on the lease. It's business." Then change the topic every single time. "Lease, no pets/kids, how is the chicken salad?"

You can't say (as someone suggested), "We don't mix family and business" because you are renting to family. Just not to this cousin. And while you really don't owe anyone an explanation for doing what you want with your own property, you have a very easy go-to script here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The simple reply is: "We've got a no pets, no kids lease for the guest house, and cousin has both. SIL and her DH have neither. If we were renting to strangers we'd have the same limitations on the lease. It's business." Then change the topic every single time. "Lease, no pets/kids, how is the chicken salad?"

You can't say (as someone suggested), "We don't mix family and business" because you are renting to family. Just not to this cousin. And while you really don't owe anyone an explanation for doing what you want with your own property, you have a very easy go-to script here.

Umm. Just, FYI, it's illegal to say you will not rent to family with children. It's family status discrimination.

See more here -- http://civilrights.findlaw.com/discrimination/understanding-your-rights-housing-discrimination.html