Becoming my mother. I hate it!
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Anonymous
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FTM Here. I'm becoming my mother and I hate it. The way she treated me and said the things she said to me I say them to DH and get angry just like how she got angry with me.
I need stop this but how? Therapy? I definitely do not want my behavior/actions effect my son's child hood like how my,mother's behavior effected mine. |
Anonymous
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Can you control yourself at all? Becoming my mother is my worst nightmare, and that thought alone ensures that I brake hard on my natural instincts to act like her: her anxieties, her pettiness, her everything-comes-with-strings-attached, her nagging and lack of rational thought processes, etc. |
Anonymous
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Yes therapy can help. So am parenting classes. Get them before you ‘really’ need them.
Self-awareness is a good and necessary start. Good luck OP. |
Anonymous
| This is a large part of why I work. My mother, who was a smart woman, became obsessed with a lot of stupid crap, like having a house that looked like it was always ready for a magazine shoot, and wearing really nice clothes to doctor's appointments. I'm worried that without a job, I would end up fixating on pointless things as well. This is not to say that you need to get a job. But if you're fixating on stupid stuff, find something more important to occupy your talents. Get a hobby, volunteer, write a novel, read the Feminine Mystique and deliberate about it's current relevance.... |
Anonymous
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Therapy, and possibly meds.
There are online depression and anxiety screening tools. Check them out. |
Anonymous
| Snap a rubber band on your wrist when you start to talk to someone (including and especially your little children) like a disrespectful bitch. |
Anonymous
You sound like a disrespectful bitch |
Anonymous
+1. |
Anonymous
| Therapy. Have someone teach you tactics to use when you see this happening. Just like anything else, certain behaviors become habits, and it's better to break them early if you can. |
Anonymous
| Oh, argh. I feel you. It's scary when you hear yourself reacting in a way you really don't want to. It's good that you're aware and want to take steps. Therapy can help...even just starting it can make a big difference, because feeling like you have a plan can give you back some control. I'd start there. xo |
Anonymous
That is a therapy technique that works though. - a therapist |
Anonymous
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You need to just think it through. I just woke up one day and thought, "I will NOT be like her. From now on, I will not be passive-aggressive, a martyr, or super-needy." I further decided that I would say "yes" when possible rather than have my default answer be "no." And that I would not keep bringing up things my DD did wrong, year after year.
In regards to my father, I promised myself that my child would never be physically afraid of me, and would be allowed to express her anger. |