Have all your old relationships gotten in touch as a result of the internet?

[Anonymous]

I am 49 and didn't get married until mid-30s. I wasn't much of a casual dater but had a lot of short and longer-term boyfriends beginning in college through the time I met my now-husband. Pretty much every single one of these guys, except one until today, has gotten back in touch with me at some point. When I was in my late 20s I had boyfriends from college find me (one apologized for ghosting me before that was a term), and sporadically since.

Today I got a message from the guy I think of as the second most important relationship in my life after my husband, a guy who broke up with me, leaving me devastated. Through the years I have thought about him a lot, not because I think I missed out on a great relationship but because my life, had I stayed with him, would have been fundamentally different. He was European, I probably would have stayed in Europe, where we met, and lived a completely different life. He represents the path not taken. When I saw the message, my stomach did a flip, though. I always wondered if he thought about me, and assumed he didn't because there were long periods of his life spent in the US for work and I heard nothing from him. In his message, he asked to meet up, which I'm not going to do. The past should stay the past, I think, and meeting doesn't serve much of a purpose than to mar memories of how much better we both looked when we were young.

How often does this kind of thing happen? Have you reconnected with an old flame for old times sake? Did you meet up just for fun? What happened?

[Anonymous]

Not a one.

[Anonymous]

None, and don't meet up with this guy.

[Anonymous]

Only one and I didn't care to respond.

[Anonymous]

I’m FB friends with my college boyfriend, but he’s rarely on it and we don’t interact, aside from a congratulatory message when someone has a baby. He friended me, and we have a couple of mutual friends.

Haven’t had any contact with my HS boyfriend, although I can see we have mutual FB friends.

I didn’t date that many other guys and haven’t had any others contact me, although one came up in my LinkedIn “people you may know” or whatever and he must have looked me up because we have nobody in common and live in completely different parts of the country from each other and from where we lived when we dated. I had forgotten his last name before he popped up on there.

[Anonymous]

I met up with one woman I dated when I was in college. I regret it. Whatever I saw in her back then was gone most likely because we are in totally different places in our lives now and I have no interest in where she is at in her life now.

[Anonymous]

A few friends requests, which I find somewhat odd but no contact other than that.

[Anonymous]

DW responded to contact from an ex, had an affair with him, and shattered our marriage. Proceed at your own risk.

[Anonymous]

I'm FB friends with one ex, although we are rarely rarely in touch. I still love him. We wouldn't have been bad partners, our backgrounds were similar (financially, education, family) but we were not fundamentally suited to each other. So, it is OK that we didn't marry, but I do miss him greatly as a friend.

[Anonymous]

Lord no.

My past relationships ended ... poorly.

I take it as a sign of maturity for all parties involved that there have been no attempts to reconnect.

[Anonymous]

No, never.

[Anonymous]

No none. It would be weird and I’ll wonder how they found me since I changed by name, first and last (husband’s)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I met up with one woman I dated when I was in college. I regret it. Whatever I saw in her back then was gone most likely because we are in totally different places in our lives now and I have no interest in where she is at in her life now.

+1. I would rather drink cod liver oil than be one of those guys who does this.

[Anonymous]

None. There is only one who might try because it bothered him that I told him he was an a-hole when I cut ties (cheater,controlling, and critical). He tried calling me out of the blue a couple times years later and I told him to suck it. Would not hesitate to do so again, though a FB message I would just ignore.

Don't create unnecessary drama for yourself OP.