| I've noticed a trend on DCUM lately: tremendous anxiety (typically on behalf of women) about marrying the "right" man, or being afraid to divorce because ALL THE GOOD ONES ARE TAKEN. What the hell is all the fear about? |
| Normal feelings of abandonment... women are biologically, financially, emotionally vulnerable and add kids into the mix and even more so. We crave security, Love, and marriage. Throw us a bone- this is an anonymous forum! Hopefully we aren’t outing all our neuroses in real life too. |
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I had anxiety when my DW told me she wanted to split. I knew things weren't great, but figured we'd work it out. I should have paid better attention and snapped awake sooner. In hindsight, it seems I was in a fog and was finally in the clear when she told me she wanted out.
Working on myself. Anxiety has mostly passed, every once in a while it starts up but I've been able to cope. |
It's about marrying the right man or being afraid to divorce because all the good men are taken. |
But why? People get remarried all the time. There are also happy single people. Posters act like anyone outside of a perfect first marriage is somehow deficient or lacking. |
It's about meeting a prince. |
| I never had relationship anxiety because I don’t care about “status” and I’ve always planned to be successful on my own (and am). I went through a divorce and it was not a big deal and eventually met my current DH and am happier than ever. No anxiety here but I don’t need a billion dollars, a 6000 square foot house, and I couldn’t care less what people think. |
| DCUM attracts a certain type of poster, OP. Don't worry about it. |
| Jeff’s genius was adding Urban for the suburban moms. |
It's not just about meeting a prince but checking off boxes at the right time on the path to being perfect. You know, grad school by 25, marriage by 27, house by 29, babies by 31, new house by 33, etc...... |
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Read too much red pill BS when I was in my 20s and believed the whole “don’t waste the pretty!” crap. At 28, I met and married what I believed was a catch- prestigious career, lots of money, and probably the most “alpha” man I’ve ever met. Thought I had to snatch him up before someone else did.
Learned the hard way- “alpha” guys are fun for a little while when dating, but soul-killing in marriage. I wish I had listened to the voice in the back of my head telling me to run before we got married. |
I wonder if that comes from the fairy tales that are pushed on little girls? The movies and books I grew up with were all about beautiful young women (children, really) marrying the most desirable man in the kingdom, and I ate that s*** up. I’m happy to see kid’s movies are focusing less on romance and more on accomplishments, like Moana. I watched the new “Beauty and the Beast” recently and couldn’t even enjoy it, the whole time I wanted to shout “don’t fall for it, Belle! He’s a d*** and won’t change!” |
No. PP here who could not care less what anyone thinks and am happily married and secure, even after divorce. I loved all the princess tales. But I feel it was how my parents raised me day to day that shaped me, not some stupid Disney movie. I was raised to have goals and ambitions and if I got in trouble or got bad grades no one bailed me out. I had to earn privileges to begin with and earn them back when I lost them. My parents didn’t buy me much. I had to use my own mo way and get a job if I wanted a computer to take away to college. I was taught to be independently successful and mommy and daddy never made excuses for me. Things like that. Consequently I rely on no one for my happiness or lifestyle. |
| Own money* |
"The path to being perfect"... In other words, delusional. |