Dad wanting primary custody

[Anonymous]

A question about my cousin and any advice from others who have been there and one that.

My cousin has a 6 yr old son from a very brief relationship, they have always had 50/50 custody. Cousin and his ex coparented well for the first 3 years. Cousin then met his now wife and ex didn't like that he was remarrying. Relationship became less friendly and more strained but okay. A year ago the ex's boyfriend moved in with her. Since then child has started having significant behavioural and emotional problems. Child is also banned (by ex) from telling cousin anything that happens while at ex's (including what he got as a birthday present or what he did on the weekend). Child does not want to go to ex's house and gets violent with cousin when exchange is about to happen. Cousin feels something either happened or is happening at ex's house that is harming him. Cousin has involved professionals but child is sworn to silence and refuses to speak to them. Ex uncooperative with attempts to get assessments and get help for the child. Child is now also self harming. Cousin wants to try and get full custody at least temporarily to figure out what happened / is happening / get child to place where he can talk openly.

His evidence though is really only the child's behavior. All are unsure where to go for here.

[Anonymous]

Try contacting CPS maybe?

[Anonymous]

CPS, police, court. So many options. It’s your cousin’s job to be an advocate if he thinks something sinister is happening (and has good reason to believe it, as it seems he does). He must act immediately. His child’s life could be at risk. Worst case, a school guidance counselor. He must start telling people (who have the ability/authority to help) about his son!

[Anonymous]

Dear God.

OP, he should be in an attorney's office tomorrow morning. This is potentially very serious and he MUST step up to the plate to help his child.

[Anonymous]

He has no proof something is going on except child's behavior. Cousin could be staying stuff to son to make him act up with exchange and not want to go or something could be happening at ex's. He needs to get child evaluated and figure out what is going on. He'd be in for a huge expensive custody battle that isn't in the child's best interests in less abuse is happening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He has no proof something is going on except child's behavior. Cousin could be staying stuff to son to make him act up with exchange and not want to go or something could be happening at ex's. He needs to get child evaluated and figure out what is going on. He'd be in for a huge expensive custody battle that isn't in the child's best interests in less abuse is happening.

Read the post properly, PP. This child is harming himself. At six years old. Much more is happening than his father "saying stuff." The child is terrified to go to his mother's home and that change occurred when the new boyfriend entered the picture.

OP, this boy needs immediate help. Listen to the PPs who actually paid attention to your post and help your cousin get legal advice ASAP tomorrow morning on how to get intervention, whether that's CPS or something else. The boy's behavior screams for help. If he's not being abused (and abuse can be verbal or emotional--it isn't always just about hitting or sexual abuse)-- if there's no abuse, the boy still may have mental health problems that clearly need diagnosing. Either way this child needs an adult to intervene and his dad must step up and do it. Now.