I didn't go to high school. What did I really miss?

[Anonymous]

I was home schooled for high school. My mom was extremely paranoid about the many social ills that supposedly filled high schools in the 90s and led me to believe it was the best choice for me, which I believed at the time.

While I actually got a decent education (combination of a very good home schooling program and being very self-motivated), as the years go by I feel like I missed out on so many experiences by not going to a high school. I never got to go to the prom or football games and when I got to college I struggled to fit in at first because I didn't know teenager lingo/slang. As time goes by I feel like I missed such an important part of life as I see friends who have great HS friendships to this day, reminiscing of teenage antics and rites of passage. DH gets it but thinks I'm romanticizing the whole thing...he remembers HS as being bullied and stuck with teachers who didn't care. Who knows what my HS experience would have been like, but I've been thinking a lot about it and feel like I missed out on so much.

So for all you who went to high school, was it a great experience? If you had those 4 years erased from your life, would you feel like you missed out on something important or would you be content?

[Anonymous]

Not a damn thing

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry OP. The thing is though that you can't go back and change your situation, so if a bunch of posters say that overall HS was great and while they wouldn't want to go back they are very glad it happened, won't it just make you feel worse?

[Anonymous]

I actually enjoyed it a lot, but don't have any interest in reliving it.

The most important lesson there was that I HAD to leave home and meet people who were a little more open-minded.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was home schooled for high school. My mom was extremely paranoid about the many social ills that supposedly filled high schools in the 90s and led me to believe it was the best choice for me, which I believed at the time.

While I actually got a decent education (combination of a very good home schooling program and being very self-motivated), as the years go by I feel like I missed out on so many experiences by not going to a high school. I never got to go to the prom or football games and when I got to college I struggled to fit in at first because I didn't know teenager lingo/slang. As time goes by I feel like I missed such an important part of life as I see friends who have great HS friendships to this day, reminiscing of teenage antics and rites of passage. DH gets it but thinks I'm romanticizing the whole thing...he remembers HS as being bullied and stuck with teachers who didn't care. Who knows what my HS experience would have been like, but I've been thinking a lot about it and feel like I missed out on so much.

So for all you who went to high school, was it a great experience? If you had those 4 years erased from your life, would you feel like you missed out on something important or would you be content?

OP, this question isn't relevant. For 99% of the population, if they even remember it accurately, it is a combination of the two.

What you are missing is an experience that most people can relate to. It doesn't matter if you would have had a good experience or bad in memory - it would have been something to think and talk about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was home schooled for high school. My mom was extremely paranoid about the many social ills that supposedly filled high schools in the 90s and led me to believe it was the best choice for me, which I believed at the time.

While I actually got a decent education (combination of a very good home schooling program and being very self-motivated), as the years go by I feel like I missed out on so many experiences by not going to a high school. I never got to go to the prom or football games and when I got to college I struggled to fit in at first because I didn't know teenager lingo/slang. As time goes by I feel like I missed such an important part of life as I see friends who have great HS friendships to this day, reminiscing of teenage antics and rites of passage. DH gets it but thinks I'm romanticizing the whole thing...he remembers HS as being bullied and stuck with teachers who didn't care. Who knows what my HS experience would have been like, but I've been thinking a lot about it and feel like I missed out on so much.

So for all you who went to high school, was it a great experience? If you had those 4 years erased from your life, would you feel like you missed out on something important or would you be content?

Your mom was right about the social ills...at that age, teens associate with other teens and get into a lot of trouble experimenting etc. You should be grateful for having a mom who cared enough about your education and well-being. So stop whining.

[Anonymous]

I had an atypical high school experience - boarding school - and there were no football games or proms or pep rallies. How about you reframe how you think about this? Just like me, you had an atypical high school experience. Some good, some bad, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was home schooled for high school. My mom was extremely paranoid about the many social ills that supposedly filled high schools in the 90s and led me to believe it was the best choice for me, which I believed at the time.

While I actually got a decent education (combination of a very good home schooling program and being very self-motivated), as the years go by I feel like I missed out on so many experiences by not going to a high school. I never got to go to the prom or football games and when I got to college I struggled to fit in at first because I didn't know teenager lingo/slang. As time goes by I feel like I missed such an important part of life as I see friends who have great HS friendships to this day, reminiscing of teenage antics and rites of passage. DH gets it but thinks I'm romanticizing the whole thing...he remembers HS as being bullied and stuck with teachers who didn't care. Who knows what my HS experience would have been like, but I've been thinking a lot about it and feel like I missed out on so much.

So for all you who went to high school, was it a great experience? If you had those 4 years erased from your life, would you feel like you missed out on something important or would you be content?

Your mom was right about the social ills...at that age, teens associate with other teens and get into a lot of trouble experimenting etc. You should be grateful for having a mom who cared enough about your education and well-being. So stop whining.

OP here. Caring or concern had nothing to do with it. My mom had me believe that everyone in HS was a druggie who would dope me up, and she wasn't a fan of brown people either. So...thanks for your lovely reply.

[Anonymous]

I never went to my prom nor any football games. Most of my time spare time was spent working to help my parents pay the rent. I still would not want to miss my high school experience because it shapes me into who I am today. Who you are today is from your own experience. There is really no right or wrong path. Look at who you are today. Do you like who you are? If you do, then there isn't any point is reminiscing about the what-ifs because perhaps you would not turn out to be the same individual that you have become. You might not have the same husband, nor children, nor friends.

I never really went to elementary school in the States. There are also other kids whose family had to move often due to their parents' military or job status. Did they miss out on a "normal" childhood, or did it shape them to have a different perspective? Life would be mighty boring, and much of creativity and diversity in the world would be lacking if we were cut from the same fabric.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was home schooled for high school. My mom was extremely paranoid about the many social ills that supposedly filled high schools in the 90s and led me to believe it was the best choice for me, which I believed at the time.

While I actually got a decent education (combination of a very good home schooling program and being very self-motivated), as the years go by I feel like I missed out on so many experiences by not going to a high school. I never got to go to the prom or football games and when I got to college I struggled to fit in at first because I didn't know teenager lingo/slang. As time goes by I feel like I missed such an important part of life as I see friends who have great HS friendships to this day, reminiscing of teenage antics and rites of passage. DH gets it but thinks I'm romanticizing the whole thing...he remembers HS as being bullied and stuck with teachers who didn't care. Who knows what my HS experience would have been like, but I've been thinking a lot about it and feel like I missed out on so much.

So for all you who went to high school, was it a great experience? If you had those 4 years erased from your life, would you feel like you missed out on something important or would you be content?

OP, this question isn't relevant. For 99% of the population, if they even remember it accurately, it is a combination of the two.

What you are missing is an experience that most people can relate to. It doesn't matter if you would have had a good experience or bad in memory - it would have been something to think and talk about.

OP here. Thank you for this thoughtful reply. I think this is a really good way to think about it and I thank you for your insightful perspective.

[Anonymous]

I hated high school. I was awkward and artsy and that didn't fly in my southern SPORTS AND CHEERLEADING!!!! high school. And the cliques weren't like on movies. There was no artsy group or theater geek group. There were the good kids -- made good grades, student govt, sports, cheerleading -- and the bad kids -- drugs, babies out of wedlock.

[Anonymous]

You did miss something. Whether the experience is good or bad, it's a common foothold in American life. It's a shared experience most adults have. I do think it sucks you didn't get it and this is a huge reason why I hate homeschooling- it deprives kids of natural, beneficial learning experiences and opportunities because of the parents' personal beliefs/ideologies/fears. Homeschooled kids absolutely miss out and it is a shame.

[Anonymous]

You were robbed of being socialized.

[Anonymous]

If you weren't home schooled for grade school, just picture hs being like a continuation of grade school. Lots of fun parties, social events, hilarious stories, lots of shared experiences, trips to the mall, fun clothes, jokes and in-jokes, trips, infatuations with boys etc. You also start to be 'self and others' aware enough to see cause and effect in peoples choices and behaviours. You see what it takes to be a 'winner' or to be a 'loser' in life. You get exposed to other perspectives on how to do things, or how to think about things. Like a less mature university experience, lol.

More than anything, I think all the socializing hones your BS detector and you learn to avoid idiots and assholes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not a damn thing

+1
It sucked