Concerns on personal space & social cues

[Anonymous]

Please help me to look at my situation.

My daughter is 2 year old, and her eye contact & pointing has been improving for the last couple months. Her speech is improving in a slow rate (gain a few words over the last couple months), and she is still working on it with speech therapist. Her receptive language (understanding) improves a lot, and she understand a lot in 2 languages (bilingual family). She does not have any medical diagnosis yet, but developmental psychologist still has not ruled out ASD yet on her, that means she is still under watch every couple months.

The thing that concerns me a lot these days is her not understanding personal space & social cue. I hear that kid that is autistic could be outgoing & social, but he/she does not play at the same level as other kids with similar age, and sometimes not understanding social cues/personal space. My DD is really social & outgoing, even though she does not have many words, she always make the move & try to play with kids (younger or older) or adults in any new environment. She will give kid hug, hold their hands, give them something to share, and also copy other kids what they are doing. She loves to play all the time, and does not understand personal space (especially strangers). The problem is that sometimes some kids does not want to be touched, and she does not get it. She would still continue touching them till they run away & walk away. And, I think she is way too friendly to people that she barely knows, and she is laughing, smiling & running everywhere. She normally does not follow any gym or music classes instruction, or sit in circle time, and a lot of time, she does not follow kids' actions in a structured class. However, she does well in free play class. She understand when people are happy, sad, and she will give me a hug if she find out that I am mad at her. So, kids that are ASD can be also social & outgoing, right?

[Anonymous]

You are jumping the gun. There are almost no kids who understand social cues and personal space at age 2. Come back if your child is 8 or 9 and still doesn't and even then it's not necessarily indicative of anything. I know kids who were socially awkward at that age and turned out to be teens with a lot of friends and no red flags to indicate any issues like ASD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are jumping the gun. There are almost no kids who understand social cues and personal space at age 2. Come back if your child is 8 or 9 and still doesn't and even then it's not necessarily indicative of anything. I know kids who were socially awkward at that age and turned out to be teens with a lot of friends and no red flags to indicate any issues like ASD.

This, but I'd say age 5-6. What you are describing is pretty normal in language delays and you will see it clearly as the child gets older. At age 2, its very hard to tell and could be anything.

[Anonymous]

No two year old understands personal boundaries. Your expectations of your child are way, way too high as well for attention span, participation in activities, and social skills in general. Please get some books on child development. And please stop using ASD as some sort of dumping ground for any social behavior you don't care for. That's not what ASD is at all.

I recommend:

https://www.amazon.com/Your-Two-Year-Old-Louise-Bates-Ames/

https://www.amazon.com/Toddler-Years-Practical-Parents-Caregivers/dp/0940953250/ref=pd_sim_14_17?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&r

[Anonymous]

When kids are nonverbal or have few verbal skills, they tend to rely on physical contact more in forming friendships. That's totally normal. My DD would try to hold hands. There was a lot of hand holding and hugging and cuddling among the nonverbal kids in her PEP pre school. None were autistic.