ASA parent arrested

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The swim teams received so much negative publicity because they actually did the right thing (informed the parents by email). The school and other communities (karate, soccer, baseball, and basketball) avoided scrutiny because they failed to do the right thing (inform the parents).

Also, summer swim team is six weeks long. The school year is nine months long. The Mahonys were on summer swim team for three seasons. They were at the school for 6 years.

And club swim is ten months long.

Thus far there has been nothing to connect club swim to the abuse. It’s an activity his kids participated in. There are a lot of safeguards in club swim with the volunteer positions. Is it unsettling to think he was on deck with my kid, absolutely, but I also know he didn’t have the opportunity to abuse my kid at a swim meet. In terms of summer swim team, honestly the only additional safeguard that teams should consider is to run background checks for team photographer/only use a professional not a parent that just volunteers to do it.

The bottom line is this pedo used the fact that he was a parent of young kids to prey on his kids’ friends. There was probably very little that the sports/activities his kids participated in could do about that. They can’t prevent other parents of kids in that activity from allowing their kids to hang out at the Mahonys. Absolutely these communities should notify families about what happened (which the swim teams did), but I just don’t see them as being culpable for what happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a very toxic community at eaton unless you're a popular parent (like tom mahoney) so I doubt anyone there would even care as long as it didn't directly happen to them

This is not true. I've been involved with several HSA fundraisers over the years and never met the guy.

Whoever said this should definitely be red flagged and not be volunteering anymore.
Tom Mahoney was absolutely exhibiting this same grooming behavior at Eaton as described by the swimming group. He was one of the most obnoxious WhatsApp posters, he was constantly mentioned in HSA emails, he showed up with cameras unsolicited at events and playdates, was involved with the hsa and after-school (jeap) parent groups, and was regularly lurking in front of the school talking to kids and parents without his own children present. Hopefully he never chaperoned a field trip and took anyone to the bathroom but who knows because mainly people just seem to want to defend him/the school and not want to talk about it. I agree that there are other problematic characters that seem to have too much access and trust as well, and yes, I am an Eaton parent. We should always be questioning people's motives if it seems off. I'm sorry to those who are having to deal with this, it happens far too often.

You should confront these problematic characters about their problematic behavior and also inform the school. Now is the time that the school will be most receptive to this type of feedback.

Thomas got away with what he was doing for so long because fellow parents are so adverse to confrontation. Being a parent should not be a popularity contest. If you see something, say something. If I knew who these “problematic characters” were, I would confront them myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The swim teams received so much negative publicity because they actually did the right thing (informed the parents by email). The school and other communities (karate, soccer, baseball, and basketball) avoided scrutiny because they failed to do the right thing (inform the parents).

Also, summer swim team is six weeks long. The school year is nine months long. The Mahonys were on summer swim team for three seasons. They were at the school for 6 years.

And club swim is ten months long.

This is true. However, ASA has very strict rules. Parents are not allowed on deck during swim practice and not even allowed into the building during swim practice. They have to wait outside until their kid comes out of the building.

Limiting parental access to see how the kids are being treated is a huge red flag. What parents tolerate this?

Parents aren’t allowed to observe children in school either. I have no idea what goes on in my child’s classroom. The teacher has been trained and has passed a background investigation so I have to entrust my child with this teacher. Same thing with a coach.

Does your child wear a leotard or a bathing suit around their teacher? Does their teacher touch them to correct their form? Does the teacher have to spot them when doing new things? Parents can watch at soccer and baseball practice yet the sports where there is the most touching and least clothed are the ones where they limit access. It’s odd that you are cool with that given the statistics and the fact that more often than not teachers are women and coaches are men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t remember being explicitly given any “parental access” rules when my daughter was in MVP. All I remember is a lot of yelling adults and kids moving freely in groups. It’s obvious why this was his ideal hunting ground. And it’s sad that we’ve heard of no reflections on how summer swim can change in light of this situation.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a very toxic community at eaton unless you're a popular parent (like tom mahoney) so I doubt anyone there would even care as long as it didn't directly happen to them

This is not true. I've been involved with several HSA fundraisers over the years and never met the guy.

Whoever said this should definitely be red flagged and not be volunteering anymore.
Tom Mahoney was absolutely exhibiting this same grooming behavior at Eaton as described by the swimming group. He was one of the most obnoxious WhatsApp posters, he was constantly mentioned in HSA emails, he showed up with cameras unsolicited at events and playdates, was involved with the hsa and after-school (jeap) parent groups, and was regularly lurking in front of the school talking to kids and parents without his own children present. Hopefully he never chaperoned a field trip and took anyone to the bathroom but who knows because mainly people just seem to want to defend him/the school and not want to talk about it. I agree that there are other problematic characters that seem to have too much access and trust as well, and yes, I am an Eaton parent. We should always be questioning people's motives if it seems off. I'm sorry to those who are having to deal with this, it happens far too often.

You should confront these problematic characters about their problematic behavior and also inform the school. Now is the time that the school will be most receptive to this type of feedback.

Thomas got away with what he was doing for so long because fellow parents are so adverse to confrontation. Being a parent should not be a popularity contest. If you see something, say something. If I knew who these “problematic characters” were, I would confront them myself.

Thomas got away with it for so long because he fit in. I was in his circle of acquaintances (not close) and he seemed just like every other involved dad, albeit one who really liked taking pictures. He was friendly and good at small talk. I never heard any gossip or whispers about anything problematic. It’s only in conversations after his arrest that I’ve heard things that in retrospect seem stretchy at best and grooming at worst.

I think parents really want to believe that there are absolute red flags that every predator shows and I don’t think that’s true. That’s why it’s so important for organizations to set up safeguards and for parents to talk to their children. That’s how Thomas was caught - parents talked to their children and believed them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The swim teams received so much negative publicity because they actually did the right thing (informed the parents by email). The school and other communities (karate, soccer, baseball, and basketball) avoided scrutiny because they failed to do the right thing (inform the parents).

Also, summer swim team is six weeks long. The school year is nine months long. The Mahonys were on summer swim team for three seasons. They were at the school for 6 years.

And club swim is ten months long.

This is true. However, ASA has very strict rules. Parents are not allowed on deck during swim practice and not even allowed into the building during swim practice. They have to wait outside until their kid comes out of the building.

Limiting parental access to see how the kids are being treated is a huge red flag. What parents tolerate this?

Parents aren’t allowed to observe children in school either. I have no idea what goes on in my child’s classroom. The teacher has been trained and has passed a background investigation so I have to entrust my child with this teacher. Same thing with a coach.

Does your child wear a leotard or a bathing suit around their teacher? Does their teacher touch them to correct their form? Does the teacher have to spot them when doing new things? Parents can watch at soccer and baseball practice yet the sports where there is the most touching and least clothed are the ones where they limit access. It’s odd that you are cool with that given the statistics and the fact that more often than not teachers are women and coaches are men.

What do leotards and spotting have to do with swim team? It seems like you are trying to extrapolate things that occur in ballet to swim team.

Also, there obviously are quite a few male teachers out there. In addition, classrooms for younger kids (pk4-first grade) actually have bathrooms in the classroom. This could be as problematic as the issues you raised.