How are some people able to move on so easily from a long relationship

[Anonymous]

DH and I were married for 9 years. We have been separated for about 10 months now. With tears in my eyes I think about how he has been able to move on so easily. Has started living the single life by clubbing, dating, and has even been isolating himself from our children. He barely visits and always makes excuses to why he can't come see them or why he's 3 hours late. It's hard for me to even think of dating right now, I'm trying to be positive but it's so hard to think DH can just live his life like his kids don't even exist.

[Anonymous]

I am very sorry .You need to be strong for you and the kids.I have the same situation but my girl make stronger.If you need someone to talk please let me know .we happy to talk to you.remember your kids always counting on you.lets make this kids have a nice holiday.
Be Strong.
Susan

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry you're going through this OP! I don't have experience in this area, but I would think that if someone "checked out" well before the separation or divorce, it may seem easier to move on. Does that make sense? If your DH was mentally checked out of the marriage for 2 years before separating, it's almost like he's been "moving on" for almost 3 years. Not sure of your particular circumstances. Hoping it gets better for you!

[Anonymous]

No the OP but you are very nice ? sometimes is better to finish a relationship that no is working and make everyone unhappy.

[Anonymous]

Remember, just because he is doing those things, does not mean he is "over it". Some people just go through the motions.

[Anonymous]

He might be a person who throws himself into activities to keep himself from feeling sad. He might also be more extroverted than you, and maybe the clubbing/dating is something he needs more than you do to keep himself from being lonely. He also might be more willing than you to date when he's not "ready" for a relationship yet. People fall on different sides of that spectrum.

I feel bad about the "isolating himself from the kids" thing. I think you should talk to him about that, because once he goes down that road, it's hard to go back, and I worry that you'll be posting here in a year about your court battle because all of a sudden he wants custody when he was checked out before.

[Anonymous]

Im guessing he mourned the relationship long before it "ended."

[Anonymous]

We’re not just talking about a person who has moved on from a long-term relationship, though. PP’s are normalizing it because they’re only focusing on the aspect of him dating so soon, etc.

But you’ve described a situation where your ex has become an absentee father, which reflects very poorly on his character and integrity as a human being. It’s one thing to move on from your ex, but it’s anotger thing entirely to move on from your kids, and let them down again and again.

[Anonymous]

Keep a diary of ever time he's hours late for visitation and when he doesn't show up or take the kids when he's supposed to. You'll thank yourself for it later. Keep a copy of his texts, emails, voicemails to which he's canceling or postponing the visits.