When both spouses are depressed - how to support?

[Anonymous]

I have been dealing with PPD since the birth of our first child a little over a year ago. It was semi-expected so we were on the lookout for it, and I got medications and followed up with my therapist. I've made headway, I have good days and bad, but generally pleased with my overall recovery thus far with the understanding that this is something I need to continue working on and that "normal" is not gonna be what it was once.

I suspected early on that DH was also depressed, maybe in part PPD but he'd been unhappy since the death of a parent some years prior. He is only just not getting around to acknowledging it. I've tried to sort of have these discussions with him, but didn't want to be a nag or slap him in the face with an arm-chair diagnosis. However, he does not want to see a therapist and most definitely does not want to go on meds. He just wants to work through it, as he puts it.

Not happy with his choice, but I also cannot force him into care. I love him to pieces and just want him to be happy, but his hard days are a trigger for my own hard days. How do those of you in relationships where both of you are depressed ensure you get the support you need to stay afloat? I especially want us to have some kind of plan in place as kid gets older and may be even more observant when mom and dad are sad or snappy. So far, we've been able to sort of snap out of our own issues when the other one is spiraling and be the strong one, but some day it's gonna be too hard to plant roots and take charge when need be.

[Anonymous]

He can’t. I’ve been there and working through it on your own doesn’t work as you’re not equipped to deal. I tri d that and was picked up by the police because I was trying to kill muself. Not good.

Have him see someone first without meds, then they can suggest it