So Sick of the Everything’s Your Fault Crap From Both Daughters

[Anonymous]

DDs are 15 and 12. I can do no right. I KNOW it is developmentally appropriate. I know not to make a big deal and just survive this period. But sometimes it feels like a 1-2 punch, you know? Any advice or books for surviving it?

[Anonymous]

If it makes you feel any better, it can’t be all your fault. My teen daughter says everything is all MY fault. No worries!

[Anonymous]

But it IS all your fault. Until they turn 24. Then they can't blame you, and they need to own their ish, even if it's ish you put on them when they were younger

[Anonymous]

As my DS said, "What am I supposed to blame myself? No, I have to blame you!"

[Anonymous]

There's a flip side to this. Mine thinks everything is her fault. Everything.

[Anonymous]

It is NOT developmentally appropriate.
It is developmentally appropriate to have more hormaones sloshing around and to be therefore more reactive and emotional.

The fact that this translates to rudeness to parents is only because parents let them, thinking it's inevitable. I was not like this, neither were my husband or his siblings, neither were my friends during that period.

You know your kids best and where to draw the line, OP. Just stop being fatalistic about it, because that's not helping you or your children. Have realistic boundaries and stick to them with consequences. Ignore the rest.