DH wants another baby no and I'm not ready.

[Anonymous]

I'm not ready yet. We have 2 kids ages 2 and 7. In comparison to my friends I had easy pregnancies and newborns and even now they are easy going. The thing is though I feel like I'm finally getting my life back. Our youngest will be 3 in March , and DH is already talking about a 3rd. I'm fairly certain I would like a third child, but not now. I'd rather wait another two or 3 years. I'm 33 so not young, but not old. I do realize fertility declines with age and while a third would be nice I think I'd be okay with two.
DH however is non stop baby talk. He's not pushy or rude about it, but I'm starting to feel annoyed.

[Anonymous]

He needs to wait until you are ready. Period.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you want a 11 year old, 5 year old, and 1 year old and he doesn't. You should get on the same page.

As for you having the kid at 37, I really don't think that's a huge issue. You can do IVF if it doesn't happen automatically.

[Anonymous]

The one who doesn't want more kids always wins.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
The one who doesn't want more kids always wins.

No, the one with the uterus always wins. If a man disagrees, they can find another uterus. If the woman wants more kids, she can do it with someone else/ by herself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
The one who doesn't want more kids always wins.

No, the one with the uterus always wins. If a man disagrees, they can find another uterus. If the woman wants more kids, she can do it with someone else/ by herself.

We were assuming an intact marriage, but you can open up the options if you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
The one who doesn't want more kids always wins.

No, the one with the uterus always wins. If a man disagrees, they can find another uterus. If the woman wants more kids, she can do it with someone else/ by herself.

We were assuming an intact marriage, but you can open up the options if you want.

It depends on what is more important. If a man wants another baby, he'll have it with someone else. If the woman feels threatened enough that her marriage will fail if she doesn't produce, then she can choose to breed. It's all choices/ value.

[Anonymous]

If you definitely want a third, seriously consider having one now. You are starting to get your life back now and don’t want to get back into baby stuff, but that will seem even more daunting the further out you get. You won’t want to go back to newborn any more in 2-3 years.

If you are undecided on having another baby, then don’t do it until you’re sure. If that day never comes, the so be it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you definitely want a third, seriously consider having one now. You are starting to get your life back now and don’t want to get back into baby stuff, but that will seem even more daunting the further out you get. You won’t want to go back to newborn any more in 2-3 years.

If you are undecided on having another baby, then don’t do it until you’re sure. If that day never comes, the so be it.

I disagree. I have 4 years in between my #2 and #3 and felt ready for the 3rd at that point. I hadn't been ready before that despite wanting a 3rd. I think it's ok to wait.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like your husband would be open to hearing your opinion (as he obviously should) and that your wishes (two to three years) are absolutely reasonable for a compromise to be made. Just explain to him what you wrote here, listen to his input, and see what you come up with. You might decide you want your third now so that you can be done having kids (and get your life back permanently) sooner rather than later. You might agree to wait and enjoy the time you have now. But it sounds like you guys can figure this out with ease.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
The one who doesn't want more kids always wins.

Not always. The man won in our house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you definitely want a third, seriously consider having one now. You are starting to get your life back now and don’t want to get back into baby stuff, but that will seem even more daunting the further out you get. You won’t want to go back to newborn any more in 2-3 years.

If you are undecided on having another baby, then don’t do it until you’re sure. If that day never comes, the so be it.

I agree on this. If you ever want to have a chance of getting to travel and do fun activities as a family, sooner is better. Otherwise you're thrown right ack into the baby stage and start all over again when the oldest is 9/10 and beyond

[Anonymous]

First, this should all have been discussed before getting married. Nothing more important then agreeing on kids. Second, I would also consider the problems with spacing out your 3 kids ages. In the long run you'll be much happier to have the third child closer in age to the second one.

I also have 3 kids and wouldn't have done it any differently.

[Anonymous]

I had my third at 37 with similar gaps to what you’re planning. The last pregnancy was really hard and adjusting to life with three is not easy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
The one who doesn't want more kids always wins.

This. This is always the answer.