Husband wants to get another Masters

[Anonymous]

My husband and I both retired from the military a few years ago. We have school aged kids, and unless we downsized significantly, one of us has to work. I've worked full time since retiring.
Initially he stayed home, then worked a few months, was accepted to law school and quit his job. He only attended law school for a semester and quit. Then he stayed home for over a year before going back to work. The job he got required him to travel a lot (we knew going in), so we decided after a year that he should quit - time away just wasn't worth him working. He's been stay at home dad for over a year again.
I enjoy him staying home. It gives us a lot of flexibility with the kids, he is an awesome cook, and has done several major home improvements. He talks a lot about writing a book, but he has never done so. He talks about flipping homes for income, but I am against it. His latest is to go back for another Master's. I try to be supportive of his ideas, and I know after a year at home he wants to do something more than home projects and taking care of kids, but I am just not up for him starting another endeavor to just quit part way through, or to get another Masters and not do anything with it.
His age (50+) and his background (military SF) doesn't lend itself to getting a regular 9-5 job - all require significant travel. Low level jobs he applies for don't even offer him interviews because he's overqualified. I don't see how another Masters will help broaden his opportunities.
I don't want to tell him no to pursing another Masters since I can tell he needs something more than what he's doing right now. But I just don't see the point spending time and money away from home that won't benefit the family. I also wish he'd finish the great ideas he's had - such as writing a book. I'm also starting a Master's program in the spring that is directly related to my career, so having two of us that have course deadlines won't be good for the family.
This is more of a vent than anything else...

[Anonymous]

Say that's great honey, I'm so proud of you! You're not in charge of him.

[Anonymous]

Usually retired military officers already have one or more Master's Degrees. Doesn't he have them? What are additional MAs going to do for him?

I wouldn't advise anyone over 50 to get an MA. Chance of payoff is low. Unless your job is paying for it, or something.

He'd be much better off putting his time and energy into writing a book. Or getting a better job.

If he insists on doing an MA, try to find a cheap online program...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Say that's great honey, I'm so proud of you! You're not in charge of him.

ugh They are married. They are a team. Did you even read the OP?

[Anonymous]

Flipping houses or just buying them and renting them (property management) would be an ideal job for him. Flexible hours, and uses his existing skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I both retired from the military a few years ago. We have school aged kids, and unless we downsized significantly, one of us has to work. I've worked full time since retiring.
Initially he stayed home, then worked a few months, was accepted to law school and quit his job. He only attended law school for a semester and quit. Then he stayed home for over a year before going back to work. The job he got required him to travel a lot (we knew going in), so we decided after a year that he should quit - time away just wasn't worth him working. He's been stay at home dad for over a year again.
I enjoy him staying home. It gives us a lot of flexibility with the kids, he is an awesome cook, and has done several major home improvements. He talks a lot about writing a book, but he has never done so. He talks about flipping homes for income, but I am against it. His latest is to go back for another Master's. I try to be supportive of his ideas, and I know after a year at home he wants to do something more than home projects and taking care of kids, but I am just not up for him starting another endeavor to just quit part way through, or to get another Masters and not do anything with it.
His age (50+) and his background (military SF) doesn't lend itself to getting a regular 9-5 job - all require significant travel. Low level jobs he applies for don't even offer him interviews because he's overqualified. I don't see how another Masters will help broaden his opportunities.
I don't want to tell him no to pursing another Masters since I can tell he needs something more than what he's doing right now. But I just don't see the point spending time and money away from home that won't benefit the family. I also wish he'd finish the great ideas he's had - such as writing a book. I'm also starting a Master's program in the spring that is directly related to my career, so having two of us that have course deadlines won't be good for the family.
This is more of a vent than anything else...

Ok...so you just want him to stay at home so you can get yours first, right? You should respect his endeavors as much as he respect yours.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, having two people going to school at the same time, and both working would be very very difficult. One doing the masters but not working might be doable, but I do see where it could be a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Usually retired military officers already have one or more Master's Degrees. Doesn't he have them? What are additional MAs going to do for him?

I wouldn't advise anyone over 50 to get an MA. Chance of payoff is low. Unless your job is paying for it, or something.

He'd be much better off putting his time and energy into writing a book. Or getting a better job.

If he insists on doing an MA, try to find a cheap online program...

They could be enlisted but if they can live off of part of the income I'd assume Officer too as no way we can live of my husband's retirement. It could be a car note or food but that's about it. There is more going on if you were stable/retired to that history. I'm assuming he didn't plan for retirement and doesn't have a degree in a career field that is useful. My retired husband has had no issue keeping or getting jobs. He started his masters and dropped out as no point depending on the job. Now that he is out a few years, he will have trouble getting a job. He should contact some of the career services at the local base. Some, like Ft. Mead are offering free training for IT that can lead to a job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Flipping houses or just buying them and renting them (property management) would be an ideal job for him. Flexible hours, and uses his existing skills.

Agreed. If it were a choice between real estate investment and a stable 9-5 I'd choose the 9-5, but it looks like your choice is between real estate investment and flushing more money down the graduate degree hole. Take whatever amount you would spend on his Master's and put it to this endeavor instead, it will give him something to do, a way to contribute, and have a better chance of returning value than a second graduate degree for a 50-something early retiree.

That said, even though your planned Master's program is "directly related to" your career, you should think long and hard about whether it will actually pay off to get another degree this late in your career. Maybe taking the cost of both potential degrees and putting it toward your husband's new real estate venture will be a good way to get on the same page as a team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Say that's great honey, I'm so proud of you! You're not in charge of him.

ugh They are married. They are a team. Did you even read the OP?

Yes, it sounds like her idea of being a team is she's the gatekeeper for his actions. She married someone who starts things halfway. Lots of people are like this. Can he only do things if she agrees? Sounds like this "retirement" is going down the road of difficulty.
OP the time and energy you're spending stressing over this, asking online, researching alternatives, convincing him not to, dealing with his dissatisfaction is way more than whatever time he is going to be dedicating to a Master's.
Tell him you don't think it's a good idea then. But ultimately you have to support him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I both retired from the military a few years ago. We have school aged kids, and unless we downsized significantly, one of us has to work. I've worked full time since retiring.
Initially he stayed home, then worked a few months, was accepted to law school and quit his job. He only attended law school for a semester and quit. Then he stayed home for over a year before going back to work. The job he got required him to travel a lot (we knew going in), so we decided after a year that he should quit - time away just wasn't worth him working. He's been stay at home dad for over a year again.
I enjoy him staying home. It gives us a lot of flexibility with the kids, he is an awesome cook, and has done several major home improvements. He talks a lot about writing a book, but he has never done so. He talks about flipping homes for income, but I am against it. His latest is to go back for another Master's. I try to be supportive of his ideas, and I know after a year at home he wants to do something more than home projects and taking care of kids, but I am just not up for him starting another endeavor to just quit part way through, or to get another Masters and not do anything with it.
His age (50+) and his background (military SF) doesn't lend itself to getting a regular 9-5 job - all require significant travel. Low level jobs he applies for don't even offer him interviews because he's overqualified. I don't see how another Masters will help broaden his opportunities.
I don't want to tell him no to pursing another Masters since I can tell he needs something more than what he's doing right now. But I just don't see the point spending time and money away from home that won't benefit the family. I also wish he'd finish the great ideas he's had - such as writing a book. I'm also starting a Master's program in the spring that is directly related to my career, so having two of us that have course deadlines won't be good for the family.
This is more of a vent than anything else...

Ok...so you just want him to stay at home so you can get yours first, right? You should respect his endeavors as much as he respect yours.

Except he already started one education program (law school) and quit. So I’m fairness, it’s my *turn*. Mine is also funded through my job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok...so you just want him to stay at home so you can get yours first, right? You should respect his endeavors as much as he respect yours.

From the way she described it, both their endeavors are not equally worthy of respect. His is a dumb, self-indulgent waste of time and money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Say that's great honey, I'm so proud of you! You're not in charge of him.

ugh They are married. They are a team. Did you even read the OP?

Yes, it sounds like her idea of being a team is she's the gatekeeper for his actions. She married someone who starts things halfway. Lots of people are like this. Can he only do things if she agrees? Sounds like this "retirement" is going down the road of difficulty.
OP the time and energy you're spending stressing over this, asking online, researching alternatives, convincing him not to, dealing with his dissatisfaction is way more than whatever time he is going to be dedicating to a Master's.
Tell him you don't think it's a good idea then. But ultimately you have to support him.

I’m not the gatekeeper and have supported his ideas for several years. I’m not investing time researching. Honestly, the only thing I’ve said no to is flipping homes because it would take a lot of money up front and I don’t want to jeopardize family investments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok...so you just want him to stay at home so you can get yours first, right? You should respect his endeavors as much as he respect yours.

From the way she described it, both their endeavors are not equally worthy of respect. His is a dumb, self-indulgent waste of time and money.

OP here. Where do you get dumb?
My only complaint is he starts things but doesn’t finish.

[Anonymous]

Can he take classes only part time?