Introvert who hates the holidays

[Anonymous]

I really, really, really hate holidays. Instead of having a huge get together, I would much rather crawl with a mug of cocoa and read a book and just relax. I don't want to go to anyone's house. I don't want to host anyone. DH is complete opposite. He lives for a party. He is a great cook and a wonderful host. I just want to hide and not have anyone bother me with small talk. Is it too much to ask?

I work long hours, I am also on the PTA, I do a lot with our kids. I just want to relax on my own terms during the holidays.

Are there other people like me?

[Anonymous]

Yes!!

[Anonymous]

Yup. Fortunately, my husband is understanding, as are his parents and my parents. I participate in the big events, but I also take opportunities to slip away with a book or take a walk. It's a matter of finding balance--you can't boycott all the holiday stuff, but you can find ways to make sure you get recharging time.

[Anonymous]

No one has a gun to your head. Learn to say no if it’s important to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really, really, really hate holidays. Instead of having a huge get together, I would much rather crawl with a mug of cocoa and read a book and just relax. I don't want to go to anyone's house. I don't want to host anyone. DH is complete opposite. He lives for a party. He is a great cook and a wonderful host. I just want to hide and not have anyone bother me with small talk. Is it too much to ask?

I work long hours, I am also on the PTA, I do a lot with our kids. I just want to relax on my own terms during the holidays.

Are there other people like me?

Yes, other people are like you. Yes, it's too much to ask. Sometimes you do things for the sake of others, like your DH. Sorry. Good news is that most days of the year are fine for your kind of enjoyment. A few days of the year are for the extraverts.

[Anonymous]

I'm an introvert as well and my DH is a total extrovert, but I only get to see my family a few times a year, so I suck up the drive and feelings of being overwhelmed or uncomfortable and try to enjoy my family's company, no matter the quirks, annoyances, resentments, etc.

Are you hosting friends or family, OP? If it's a large group of friends that you see often, then I can see why you might just be "over it."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really, really, really hate holidays. Instead of having a huge get together, I would much rather crawl with a mug of cocoa and read a book and just relax. I don't want to go to anyone's house. I don't want to host anyone. DH is complete opposite. He lives for a party. He is a great cook and a wonderful host. I just want to hide and not have anyone bother me with small talk. Is it too much to ask?

I work long hours, I am also on the PTA, I do a lot with our kids. I just want to relax on my own terms during the holidays.

Are there other people like me?

Yes, other people are like you. Yes, it's too much to ask. Sometimes you do things for the sake of others, like your DH. Sorry. Good news is that most days of the year are fine for your kind of enjoyment. A few days of the year are for the extraverts.

I agree. You’re lucky to have the opportunity for big family or neighbor events. Many people don’t.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I’m like you. But I do love my family. I’m always happy to have made the effort and trip to spend time with them. But I’m equally or more happy to go home and just chill afterward.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I’m like you. But I do love my family. I’m always happy to have made the effort and trip to spend time with them. But I’m equally or more happy to go home and just chill afterward.

[Anonymous]

Yes! I’m like you and have more tolerance for my side of the family than DH’s

I always go anyway and usually the anticipation (or anxiety before hand) is worse than my actual time there

[Anonymous]

I got lucky: got sick, so I am staying at home with hot tea and hot wine while everyone else is off to visit family. I don't want to cough on all of them

[Anonymous]

OP here. I wish I was sick. Or got called in to work. Instead, I have to "enjoy" my parents' presence, my ILs, and some "friends of the family" who I see maybe once a year and were too lazy to cook their own Thanksgiving dinner. I am looking into hotels. I really, really don't want to be here. I don't need these people. I enjoy them from a big distance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really, really, really hate holidays. Instead of having a huge get together, I would much rather crawl with a mug of cocoa and read a book and just relax. I don't want to go to anyone's house. I don't want to host anyone. DH is complete opposite. He lives for a party. He is a great cook and a wonderful host. I just want to hide and not have anyone bother me with small talk. Is it too much to ask?

I work long hours, I am also on the PTA, I do a lot with our kids. I just want to relax on my own terms during the holidays.

Are there other people like me?

Yes, other people are like you. Yes, it's too much to ask. Sometimes you do things for the sake of others, like your DH. Sorry. Good news is that most days of the year are fine for your kind of enjoyment. A few days of the year are for the extraverts.

I agree. You’re lucky to have the opportunity for big family or neighbor events. Many people don’t.

I do plenty things for the sake of others. I just don't like crowds and forced conversations.

[Anonymous]

I do not miss the stress of the holidays. NOT ONE BIT.

Turkey breast in the oven, sides going on, in my pajamas because I just woke up, not planning on dressing up or going anywhere. Husband is doing all the cooking. WOO HOO !

For me it's not the people, it's the constant all day being hostess, making sure everyone else is having a wonderful day. The work to put a day together for a large gathering was overwhelming.

Our parents, grandparents are long gone, live 7 hours from any family, didn't bother to make friends this move.

Call it nirvana, serenity. I do not miss the mess. My husband deserves to rest, only do what HE wants to do. I try to make that happen.

This day I am truly grateful for everything we have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I wish I was sick. Or got called in to work. Instead, I have to "enjoy" my parents' presence, my ILs, and some "friends of the family" who I see maybe once a year and were too lazy to cook their own Thanksgiving dinner. I am looking into hotels. I really, really don't want to be here. I don't need these people. I enjoy them from a big distance.

There is being an introvert and then there is just being a nasty, miserable person. It's not because they were too lazy to cook, it's because they wanted to spend time with family. Yeesh. Do your husband a favor and get to a hotel. He probably loathes you