My husband is terminally ill, and I’m getting weird vibes from a male friend

[Anonymous]

My husband is sick, and that’s nothing I can control. We are middle aged and our kid are launched. We know someone from a place we go to dine. He befriended us and stored his boat in our side yard- (We own land, private, no big deal.). I texted him and offered him home made pretzels, which I made for my husband but had extra. He texted back and said, after a few banters back and forth, thought I was very cute, more cute than my husband. I think he’s waiting in the wings. Am I imagining this? This is weird and I’m stressed with my husband’s illness.

[Anonymous]

Sorry op. People are weird, and some men are socially clumsy. I would chalk it up to awkwardness and ignore it, and perhaps minimize friendly gestures like sharing food.

[Anonymous]

Now you know not to start up conversations with the guy going forward. Why on earth would you have offered the stuff to him like that anyway? Does seem like an overture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry op. People are weird, and some men are socially clumsy. I would chalk it up to awkwardness and ignore it, and perhaps minimize friendly gestures like sharing food.

+1

Try not to think about it. He might be a creep that would have hit on you even if your husband wasn't ill.

[Anonymous]

What if he is? Just ignore it, and probably refrain from offering him food. That's the way to a man's heart

[Anonymous]

PP again - and I am very sorry that your husband is terminally ill. I apologize for not leading with that. I hope he is made as comfortable as possible.

[Anonymous]

I reckon that he thought you were flirting with him. So is it so bad to have some comfort during this time?

[Anonymous]

Unless he's sort of socially awkward and felt you needed a compliment to make you feel better, I don't think you're imagining it. Either way, this friend needs to be more respectful to both you and your husband. I'd be concerned about someone who crosses those sort of boundaries.

That said, I'm not suggesting he's dangerous but perhaps insensitive. He may be a very nice person. Forgive him for this possible transgression but "know your audience" and be mindful of anything he may take the wrong way. And if he again crosses the line, you may have to come up with something constructive but kind to get your message through that you're not interested.

If he's a good person, he'll back off and give you and your husband's relationship the reverence it deserves.

And if this helps you at all, I am in a long-term relationship with a wonderful man who lost his wife in their early forties. He loves me with his whole heart ... and he will always love her with his entire being as well. If she was here, I wouldn't be in the picture and even if I could, I would never try or wish to replace her.

My heart goes out to you and yours; Non of you deserve this; it's a perfect example of life not being fair.

[Anonymous]

Husband may have asked him to look after you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband is sick, and that’s nothing I can control. We are middle aged and our kid are launched. We know someone from a place we go to dine. He befriended us and stored his boat in our side yard- (We own land, private, no big deal.). I texted him and offered him home made pretzels, which I made for my husband but had extra. He texted back and said, after a few banters back and forth, thought I was very cute, more cute than my husband. I think he’s waiting in the wings. Am I imagining this? This is weird and I’m stressed with my husband’s illness.

Why are you offering this person homemade pretzels? It seems to me you are the one fishing, he might have tugged on your line and you are asking others to help you determine his interests.

And it wouldn't be first time someone 'relieved' the stress by engaging someone else.

[Anonymous]

Smack him. He deserves it.

[Anonymous]

Wow, so sorry you’re going through this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is sick, and that’s nothing I can control. We are middle aged and our kid are launched. We know someone from a place we go to dine. He befriended us and stored his boat in our side yard- (We own land, private, no big deal.). I texted him and offered him home made pretzels, which I made for my husband but had extra. He texted back and said, after a few banters back and forth, thought I was very cute, more cute than my husband. I think he’s waiting in the wings. Am I imagining this? This is weird and I’m stressed with my husband’s illness.

Why are you offering this person homemade pretzels? It seems to me you are the one fishing, he might have tugged on your line and you are asking others to help you determine his interests.

And it wouldn't be first time someone 'relieved' the stress by engaging someone else.

This is what's wrong with society. Who thinks a woman with a terminally ill husband is worried about securing a side piece???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is sick, and that’s nothing I can control. We are middle aged and our kid are launched. We know someone from a place we go to dine. He befriended us and stored his boat in our side yard- (We own land, private, no big deal.). I texted him and offered him home made pretzels, which I made for my husband but had extra. He texted back and said, after a few banters back and forth, thought I was very cute, more cute than my husband. I think he’s waiting in the wings. Am I imagining this? This is weird and I’m stressed with my husband’s illness.

Why are you offering this person homemade pretzels? It seems to me you are the one fishing, he might have tugged on your line and you are asking others to help you determine his interests.

And it wouldn't be first time someone 'relieved' the stress by engaging someone else.

This is what's wrong with society. Who thinks a woman with a terminally ill husband is worried about securing a side piece???

But a man would?

The OP reached out to the man and engaged in banter. PP, you're either naive or in denial.

Oh, and while it's entirely possible, I never mentioned an interest in sex.

[Anonymous]

what is your home made pretzel recipe?