Does anyone regret being career focused?

[Anonymous]

See all my friends who married well and it seems like such an easier path in life. I regret being so focused on my career because now I have to work for the rest of my life to maintain my standard of living instead of just having someone take care of me.

[Anonymous]

Nope, not for one moment. I love my DH, who is also professionally successful, but we got together in college so that wasn't a factor. I don't want someone to take care of me - I like being self sufficient.

[Anonymous]

There are many paths to happiness.

[Anonymous]

I regret not being career focused.

[Anonymous]

I had a variety of careers - ten years big corporate post my MBA, ten years my own consulting business, 8 years running a non-profit and now I'm a silversmith and jewelry maker. So I always had a career but made big changes because I like change and it all fit with the rest of my life. It also helped being married to a very successful man who has always let me be me.

[Anonymous]

My 67 year old aunt retired wealthy as the COO and president of a large private company. She has expressed regret about being too career focused and the sacrifices she made for her career. She has been married 3 times (now divorced) and only had one child. She tells me that she would have been less career focused and more family focused if she could go back in time.

[Anonymous]

How career focused? I’m dedicated and do work outside the office but I have a loving dh who brings home half our hhi and a toddler and make time for friends and family. If I wants career focused I wouldn’t be that attractive to my dh who values that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope, not for one moment. I love my DH, who is also professionally successful, but we got together in college so that wasn't a factor. I don't want someone to take care of me - I like being self sufficient.

Same for me. I'm not Sheryl Sandberg level career focused, but have always worked full time+.

[Anonymous]

No, I do not. I would not have been able to leave my mentally ill ex and raise my daughter on my own. However, I do regret that my work takes me away from my daughter sometimes.

The bonus is that I love my career and it makes me very happy.

[Anonymous]

I'm not career focused and never was. Kept my standard of living low, never needed anybody to take care of me.
My life is fine. I have all I need and more.
I always wondered why people raise the standard of living so high and then complain how hard it it to maintain. I work hard when I'm at work, but greatly enjoy my days off with my kids and need that work/family balance.
You can live in a good neighborhood without buying the million+ dollar house and driving luxury cars. We travel in US and abroad, we have a paid off car, plenty to eat and wear, 4 months off a year plus working part time.

[Anonymous]

I think it depends on how you define "focused". If you mean always putting your career above everything else, then no, that's not me, but I consider myself career focused.

In addition to a career, I also have a family and took two years off to stay at home. Now, I find I'm constantly walking the line between professional satisfaction and feeling like I'm missing/outsourcing too much with my kids. Sometimes my focus is more on work because of the demands, deadlines or projects going on and sometimes I pass up opportunities so I don't have to travel and can be at home in the evenings. I don't pretend to have it all figured out.

As far as career focus goes, it's important to me that I feel professionally satisfied and I want to be able to provide a comfortable living for my family. Everything else is gravy.

[Anonymous]

I recently divorced after 19 years (very happily divorced!) I am very relieved that I was able to financially walk away. So many women are miserable, but must stay b/c they have no way to really support themselves.

I was always career oriented. My parents raised me this way. I have 2 sons. Yes, I could have spent more time with them and it would have made a difference. With that said, they think they have a kick ass mom and are attracted to really ambitious young ladies.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, yes. My kids are (older) teenagers now and it just hit me recently how much I have MISSED with them. It is strange to see this thread today because it's really been plaguing me lately - I am just filled with regret. That is time and experience I will never get back.

(I'm not saying I regret everything. But I look back and hate how I was SO focused on proving myself and not being "mommytracked" that I completely lost sight of what's actually important

[Anonymous]

I am curious to see how I will look back on this. I was (am still by certification standards) a crna. I LOVED being a nurse and felt this was a great step up on my career. Busted my ass during school, came out first year going form making 80k to 180 (now 10 years ago) and just thought I would be so much happier. However, it was a completely different type of work. The comradery of nursing is rooted in blue collar values, working the floor, being with the people, etc etc and I lost ALL of that and I didnt realize till after the fact thats why I loved about it. I ended up quitting to SAH with my kids and plan on returning as a nurse in a different hospital and try to go back to my old career and life.…which is basically unheard of and people are really talking down to me about it. Im curious to see how things will play out. SO for me being career focused and trying to climb the latter so to speak killed my joy.

[Anonymous]

There's a middle ground between being really ambitious/career focused and marrying for money and not working. I have always worked, it's important to me that I can support myself, and my job matters to me, but I don't work long hours, I don't feel the need to be constantly advancing/getting ahead, and I value my evenings and weekends as time for myself and my family. I think a lot of people are that way--work is more than pure economic necessity, but also not the most important thing in life.