6 yr old 1st grader having trouble "focusing" in class

[Anonymous]

Not really even sure what my question is here, except for advice on what to do next. The year seemed to be going really well for my 6-year-old first grader. Enjoying school, very obviously learning and absorbing.. her math skills and reading are clearly progressing, she does her homework mostly on her own. And then wham, teacher conference last week, only to hear all about how she has trouble following directions in class, doesn't focus on her work, has to be told several times what to do. (This is all from a classwork perspective -- not at all from a behavior/ classroom disruption perspective.) The teacher had example after example of how my DD, since the start of school, and still continuing, doesn't follow directions on assignments.

Never heard any reports like this in K, or in preschool for that matter. Some things to consider: She came from a play-based preschool, and then into a very loving, fabulous kindergarten experience. And now, her 1st grade teacher is a total opposite. All about business, running the class like she thinks these kids are in 4th grade (ok, that's my snarky comment.) But it's true.

My DD is definitely on the introverted side, if she's not 100 percent comfortable in a situation, she'll just be quiet and take it all in, rather than be more extroverted like she is at home. I suspect a lot of this is because she isn't used to the teacher's style, maybe she's a little overwhelmed in class because of it. And she's not confident enough to speak up if she has questions. And yes, there is probably a little defiance going on there, too. Normal kid stuff. DD and I talked a few times about it all over the weekend. She didn't really give me much insight, other than sometimes she gets "distracted" when the teacher is talking, but she said she'd try harder to focus and listen. (and my guess is that she's just parroting the teacher when she says "distracted" and "try harder to focus."

But I got another email today from the teacher, listing the 5 things my DD didn't do when instructed today (again all classwork related.) Again, my gut is to chalk this up to a hard-a$$ 1st grade teacher, but I also don't want to miss something larger, that maybe she is having some sort of focus issue.

In the conference, when I asked the teacher her suggestions, she threw it back at me for my thoughts and she didn't really have any ideas about how to right the course.

I'm not sure it's at this point yet, but as for what to do next, or who to talk to next -- we are at a small, private school. Really the only other person I would reach out to next for help in how to remedy the situation is the principal.

Any ideas/thoughts? (and the teacher absolutely did NOT say this, and no one else has ever either -- but is this possibly what ADD looks like? Again, until this situation, there has never been any other warning sign of any attention issues.)

Thanks.

[Anonymous]

I think the teacher thinks this.

Op, your kid seems happy, so the teacher reports seem to be a mismatch. If there are similar concerns by the time your kid's in third, then test.

[Anonymous]

6 year olds aren't so good with the focus.

I think your instinct to address this with the principal in the right one. The teacher isn't being a partner here; she spends HOURS a day with your child, insists that her behavior needs to change, but can't give you any suggestions to implement? No no no no no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not really even sure what my question is here, except for advice on what to do next. The year seemed to be going really well for my 6-year-old first grader. Enjoying school, very obviously learning and absorbing.. her math skills and reading are clearly progressing, she does her homework mostly on her own. And then wham, teacher conference last week, only to hear all about how she has trouble following directions in class, doesn't focus on her work, has to be told several times what to do. (This is all from a classwork perspective -- not at all from a behavior/ classroom disruption perspective.) The teacher had example after example of how my DD, since the start of school, and still continuing, doesn't follow directions on assignments.

Never heard any reports like this in K, or in preschool for that matter. Some things to consider: She came from a play-based preschool, and then into a very loving, fabulous kindergarten experience. And now, her 1st grade teacher is a total opposite. All about business, running the class like she thinks these kids are in 4th grade (ok, that's my snarky comment.) But it's true.

My DD is definitely on the introverted side, if she's not 100 percent comfortable in a situation, she'll just be quiet and take it all in, rather than be more extroverted like she is at home. I suspect a lot of this is because she isn't used to the teacher's style, maybe she's a little overwhelmed in class because of it. And she's not confident enough to speak up if she has questions. And yes, there is probably a little defiance going on there, too. Normal kid stuff. DD and I talked a few times about it all over the weekend. She didn't really give me much insight, other than sometimes she gets "distracted" when the teacher is talking, but she said she'd try harder to focus and listen. (and my guess is that she's just parroting the teacher when she says "distracted" and "try harder to focus."

But I got another email today from the teacher, listing the 5 things my DD didn't do when instructed today (again all classwork related.) Again, my gut is to chalk this up to a hard-a$$ 1st grade teacher, but I also don't want to miss something larger, that maybe she is having some sort of focus issue.

In the conference, when I asked the teacher her suggestions, she threw it back at me for my thoughts and she didn't really have any ideas about how to right the course.

I'm not sure it's at this point yet, but as for what to do next, or who to talk to next -- we are at a small, private school. Really the only other person I would reach out to next for help in how to remedy the situation is the principal.

Any ideas/thoughts? (and the teacher absolutely did NOT say this, and no one else has ever either -- but is this possibly what ADD looks like? Again, until this situation, there has never been any other warning sign of any attention issues.)

Thanks.

It sounds to me like your daughter is dealing with a lot of new structure and a different, more formal set of expectations. She's probably expending a lot of energy on that project. Despite this, she's enjoying school. That's fantastic.

I don't know what the next step is, however. Keep an eye on whether she adjusts or begins to feel overwhelmed? What does the teacher want?

[Anonymous]

Volunteer in the classroom if at all possible. It really helps to see this with your own eyes.

It's possible that your daughter is the type of person who will always do better with written instructions, as opposed to verbal. I know that I do better when I have the steps in writing. If your daughter is a good reader, maybe the teacher can make an effort to put the assignment instructions on the board? I'll bet she isn't the only kid who could benefit from seeing the instructions in writing.

She is also adapting to a new routine and new expectations. As the year progresses she'll get used to the way things are being done in the classroom.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't sound like her teacher is a hard ass. She's just giving you the information, and it sounds like she's doing a very good job doing that. I agree she is young, but do realize your DD is an outlier here. The teacher would not bring it up otherwise. It's interesting to me the teacher has not talked about ways to modify the behavior. Either a, she's doing things already. Just didn't bring that up. Or b, she thinks your DD is still young and her complaints are more FYI. I think it's just FYI. Be ready for a future ADHD referral.

[Anonymous]

I would be worried about that teacher @breaking” my 6 y/o’s Spirit. My pediatrician says that it is extremely common for this age to be somewhat distracted and find it harder to concentrate, especially with the amount of work that they are churning out Day to day.

I would ask for a joint meeting with the principal and the teacher. I would not want my daughter to spend the rest of the school year in this type of environment- where someone is constantly telling them what they do wrong and about their lack of focus. Those are the type of narratives that can stick with a child for a lifetime. I also would be u willing to spend the rest of the year getting petty daily emails from my child’s teacher about some of these items (I would be a 180 if it were discipline issues - my child not listening, disrespecting the teacher, etc)

[Anonymous]

OP here, thanks to all for your thoughts, all very helpful. And particularly to the post about breaking my DD spirit... I didn't mention that in my original post, but yes, that is very much on my mind. It's a critical time in her formation of love of learning, and self-confidence. In my conference with the teacher, I did let her know that I thought there might be better ways to address this than simply telling my DD on a regular basis that she needs to "focus" more, that she is "distracted" and that she needs better listening ears. That is clearly a narrative that she is picking up. I have done a little googling on strategies to help inattentive kids, and we'll start there, in addition to keeping an eye on things in the next year or so.

[Anonymous]

Yes, that can be what ADHD-inattentive looks like, though that's not necessarily what is going on with your daughter. At this age there is still a lot of overlap between normal development and ADHD.

Think of ADHD as the inability to regulate attention and a delay in the development of executive function. So a kid with ADHD may be given a task, set off to do the task, then get sidetracked and completely forget about the task -- you send them upstairs to get socks and find them there 5 minutes later playing with toys or they come downstairs with a book but no socks. They may be distracted in class and require a teacher or TA to give them instructions one-on-one and continually prompt them to stay on task. Because they are distracted, they may miss a critical piece of instruction and then become confused and fall behind. Telling a child with ADHD to focus more or try harder is about as helpful as telling water to stop being wet, except it also actively erodes their self-esteem. They're already trying harder than other kids and still failing.

Common in-class accommodations are seating the child near the teacher and away from distractions (the window, BFF, ...) and giving them a visual schedule and visual cues for what they are expected to do, when. Giving written instruction for older kids can also help.

The big question for what you should do next is whether you see an impact with your daughter. Is her self-esteem suffering? Is she falling behind in schoolwork or learning concepts? Is it taking inordinately long for her to complete tasks? If you do see impacts, there is no harm in bringing your concerns up with your pediatrician.

As an aside, because girls tend to have fewer behavior problems stemming from ADHD, it's pretty common for girls with ADHD-inattentive to be missed until middle school or later when they are behind and struggling. Boys who are struggling tend to act out, get more attention, and receive help sooner. While you don't have to take everything the teacher says at face value, don't dismiss it entirely and keep you eyes open for any other signs that your DD is struggling in school.

[jjconcern]

You have gotten some very good advice in answer to your original post. In my experience as a school psychologist it is unusual for a child with attention problems to do their homework mostly by themselves. That is many times when they have a hard time with focusing and motivation. They also usually have a difficult time listening to directions or lecturing in a school atmosphere especially at 6 years of age. It sounds like the teacher's style would be more suited to the abilities of older primary grades. Many schools now place so much emphasis on academics, etc. at an earlier age than many 6 year olds can handle and those who can't are often discouraged and become even less focused because auditory learning is not how they learn best. Usually more visual and hands on learning works best for that age. The private school may pride themselves on pushing academics early on which is often viewed as advantageous by many of the parents. But my experience is that many capable intelligent children get discouraged and tune out. Very sad to see! You may end up realizing that her teacher or the school itself is not a good match for your daughter's learning style at this age.
From your description of your daughter I am not seeing typical signs of attention problems. They usually manifest themselves in some way much earlier than age 6 even if there are no behavior problems but your wise to be aware of this possibility. Her earlier experiences in kindergarten and preschool would demonstrate some type of difficulty if attention was that great of a problem. As some of the other replies suggested the teacher's constant talking about her need to focus etc. is not helpful to a 6 year old and there should be accommodations such as sitting close to teacher, visual cues, etc. if she is to remain in the class.
I would definitely speak to the principal about the situation. By all means observe the classroom before going to the principal or ask if the principal will observe the class before you do. This wouldn't be out of the ordinary as principals often observe all classrooms at some time in the year. Please follow up with another post as to how the situation is resolved. My best to you!

[Anonymous]

I wish someone had told my mom that I had trouble focusing on class. I was considered gifted, but never lived up to my potential because I was always daydreaming and had a hard time focusing on details. I wouldn’t get mad at the teacher, but instead read everything you can on ADD innatentive and see if your dd fits the description and see how you can begin to teach her the tools she might need to succeed in school.

[Anonymous]

People need to stop with this ridiculous rush to label kids. A 6 year old who is having adjustment issues in a new environment and w/o previous teacher concerns re: ADD, should not be rushed to believe that they have ADD based on the feedback of one private school teacher. She’s six, in ththe first grade, and potentially in an academically aggressive environment (I’m not sure which type of private school this is).

Op, trust your gut. Be your daughters best advocate. Listen to teachers, etc but know they are just people too.

[Anonymous]

When teachers get in touch with parents, it is typically because they feel like they are observing something outside of the norm. Prompt;y communicating with parents is really important in the rare instance that there is a learning, medical, or social-emotional problem that is underlying the behavior. A teacher's level of experience and expectations can influence what s/he views as "the norm," though. So, while it's worthwhile to listen to a teacher's concerns, it does not necessarily mean that your child is experiencing a serious problem.

Your school's learning specialist or counselor might be a good resource to involve in this instance. These are people who are better trained to spot out-of-the-ordinary behavior and atypical academic progress. Such a person might be able to check any mistaken assumptions your teacher is making and give you greater detail about what is happening in class. If there is a behavioral pattern that is worth following up on, counselors usually have recommendations about how to accommodate a child's needs in the classroom.

[Anonymous]

Get hearing and vision checked.

[Anonymous]

If you think the problem is the teacher, Ask the principal to get your dd switched to a different teacher that has a more relaxed classroom environment.

Talk to other parents about the teacher's reputation. If she is known to be tough, then that's another reason to switch teachers.

Your daughter is 6! First grade can be a hard transition for some kids. Give your kid some slack, she is acting like a 6yo! Don't go jumped down the ADD rabbit hole!