Can we start a holiday encouragement thread?

[Anonymous]

It's barely November and I am already dreading the entire holiday season. Although I have a sweet family of my own and good boundaries in place with toxic family members, the holidays are always such a sad time for me internally. I have so many memories of terrible holidays with abusive family members. I've done therapy, and I enjoy creating traditions with my own family, but the holidays always bring up memories of the past and remind me of the losses of not having the families with lots of extended grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc that I see around us. I'm sure everyone's holidays are hard for different reasons, so hoping maybe there are others who want to come back and check in to support each other. If you are already dreading Thanksgiving – come on in!

[Anonymous]

I was left in a boarding school for many Christmas holidays and had an older sibling who beat the hell out of me. I made a choice long ago that I could wallow in self-pity or get over it and go forward. I suggest that you stop living in the past. You do this by forgiving those who abused you--whatever the abuse. Forgiveness is a gift to yourself and only you can give yourself this gift. You have a good life now. STOP LIVING IN THE PAST!

[Anonymous]

OP- I hear you. How about doing one thing for yourself every day from now until January 1? go for a walk, call a friend, read a book, or whatever. Keep track!

[Anonymous]

Yowza 18:15, I didn't say I'm wallowing in the past, just that I tend to feel more pangs of sadness and loss this time of year. I think that's common for a lot of people, no? Love the idea of 1 thing a day, thanks PP!

[Anonymous]

You can't change what happened 5 minutes ago so I decided never to dwell on things from years ago.

Holidays should be fun not filled with stress and forced obligations.

Cook what you like, invite who you like then everything will fall into place.

We haven't had a bad holiday in 20 years. We plan to keep it that way.

[Anonymous]

Sending best wishes for a happy holiday season to you OP!

This year will be tough for my family. My father in law was pretty disparaging and disrespectful towards me a few months ago, so this is the first year since I met my DH 20 years ago where we are not including his parents. We will just celebrate with my side this year.

[Anonymous]

I'm so anxious already. Just ready for it to be over. I could down the years until I can have just my nuclear family for Christmas. Probably won't be until my kids are in their 30s and then they will want their nuclear families too. I'm so over the holidays already. Ready to skip to January.