Lots of friend's kids aren't getting jobs post college. Is this common?

[Anonymous]

We have two friends whose daughters are still living at home and refuse to work, even at waiting tables. They travel often to visit college friends. We have others where the work is very sporadic. Their kids keep moving in and out. It seems like most of the couples are still paying for cell phones, help with rent, travel expense, etc. well into adulthood. One couple has paid for extended grad study for two kids, who are finally employed, one marginally. My sister is doing this too. My nephew is 30, back in grad school again, and, as far as I can tell, has never had a job that was more than a part time gig in a restaurant or bookstore. One friend whose son was a national merit scholarship winner worked for years at a pizza joint, got on with a start up, now laid off and now working at a furniture factory. A couple others have formerly promising sons who are now fathers but unemployed or PT employed, living at home.

[Anonymous]

ALL of my neighbor’s kids are living at home after college. About half have jobs, none in their major nor really require any degree. Some are helping at their parents’ workplace. It does make me apprehensive for my DD’s future. She says her friend from UChicago didn’t get into grad school last year and is trying again this year. Two of the neighbors kids didn’t get into grad schools either. I think times are tough. Know a couple of graduates who turned down fabulous (Big4 tech) jobs to run their own startups. They also are living back at home.

[Anonymous]

Takes two (or three) to tango. If you allow them to continue being children, they will continue being children as long as possible.

[Anonymous]

Failure to launch is a thing. Part of it is the nature of the economy -- more service-oriented. Part of it is delayed fatigue and burnout from intense college and high school. Part of it is ridiculous expectations and a reluctance to pay dues.

[Anonymous]

Economy sucks. I'm 29 and my friend with a dual MA in Architecture and Urban Planning just got laid off from the job she's worked since grad school. She was a hard worker but the pay was so shitty that she couldn't afford to keep apt and had to move back in two years ago.

[Anonymous]

Most of our friends kids have found jobs post college. For a few it took a few months, but they eventually found something. The unemployment rate is low- especially in this area. Plenty of jobs out there.

[Anonymous]

I feel that this is a consequence of helping our kids with everything, teachers who are afraid of the fallout if they fail a kid, kids always being given extra credit opportunities if they failed at something. That just isn’t real life. When you get so used to having things given to you, or laid out in such a way that it’s impossible for you to fail, you lose out on sharpening the tools of competing, working for something, earning your place. Many kids today just haven’t had to really EARN anything. I coached a collegiate sport and even in college, sure, the kids have a difficult test or something, but the professors and the school hold 17 review sessions and give them all the answers in advance. That’s not teaching any kind of skill other than memorization. It’s not working to help this generation.

[Anonymous]

Meh. I don't have college aged kids, but i've had a bunch of college-enrolled nannies work PT for us in my son's earlier years, and they were the hardest working, most organized, career driven people i've ever met. And all their friends were the same (we met a bunch of the friends over the years who filled in as babysitters). Much more intensely driven than my (15 year older) generation. And my Dh and I were both driven and ended up in very successful jobs. And these poor kids are paying double and triple what we were for college, and rent in urban areas has skyrocketed.

There has also been a total shift in the economy, so that employers rarely recruit students right out of college anymore. They expect employees to come with experience already -- through multiple unpaid internships. Unless your parents live close to an urban center, i do not understand how one would, say, rent an apartment without parental help for the first and last months and deposit. Where would this magical money come from? I'm no millennial, but i think those poor kids are screwed.

[Anonymous]

Agree that failure to launch is a thing. I don't need to look further than my own brother on this. As a parent you really have to show your kids the door after college or you run the risk of them living in the basement forever.

[Anonymous]

My 39 year old cousin still lives at home on a low COL area. It seems pretty helpless to me at this point... He has a college education but never finished.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most of our friends kids have found jobs post college. For a few it took a few months, but they eventually found something. The unemployment rate is low- especially in this area. Plenty of jobs out there.

I'm assuming they're counting baristas with bachelor's degrees as employed. Which they are... but they'd be similarly employed if they didn't have the degree (and they wouldn't be paying back loans on their meager incomes). Underemployment was 13.7% a year ago. That's more the issue. There are some people who can't find jobs at all, but being underemployed (someone with a bachelor's degree who is working at Target or Macy's or Wendy's as a cashier) is more common.

There are also people with degrees who are doing the same jobs as those without degrees. Maybe they're making a reasonable income. They are underemployed, but not grossly so. So maybe someone with a degree is history is an EMT or someone with a degree is sociology is a receptionist at a doctor's office or works at a bank. Those jobs are available to those without degrees and they pay reasonably well.

[Anonymous]

My son sat around for 3 months after college graduation. I politely found a 4 month sublet, gave him a days notice and we drove to another state where his girlfriend was in grad school. I paid his rent for the sublet for 4 months, and cell, car insurance for a year. These parents have to put their kids out. It was hard but the best thing I ever did. He figured shit out and grew up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Economy sucks. I'm 29 and my friend with a dual MA in Architecture and Urban Planning just got laid off from the job she's worked since grad school. She was a hard worker but the pay was so shitty that she couldn't afford to keep apt and had to move back in two years ago.

Does it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of our friends kids have found jobs post college. For a few it took a few months, but they eventually found something. The unemployment rate is low- especially in this area. Plenty of jobs out there.

I'm assuming they're counting baristas with bachelor's degrees as employed. Which they are... but they'd be similarly employed if they didn't have the degree (and they wouldn't be paying back loans on their meager incomes). Underemployment was 13.7% a year ago. That's more the issue. There are some people who can't find jobs at all, but being underemployed (someone with a bachelor's degree who is working at Target or Macy's or Wendy's as a cashier) is more common.

There are also people with degrees who are doing the same jobs as those without degrees. Maybe they're making a reasonable income. They are underemployed, but not grossly so. So maybe someone with a degree is history is an EMT or someone with a degree is sociology is a receptionist at a doctor's office or works at a bank. Those jobs are available to those without degrees and they pay reasonably well.

No, most of them are in jobs that relate to their majors. Across the street has 3 of four out of college. The engineer works at Boeing, the computer scientist works at google, the finance major got a job at one of the consulting groups- cant remember the name. The kids we knew in Scouts are mainly engineers and have several offers already despite not graduating until June. One is in med school. Others are teachers. Others found accounting jobs very easily.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Economy sucks. I'm 29 and my friend with a dual MA in Architecture and Urban Planning just got laid off from the job she's worked since grad school. She was a hard worker but the pay was so shitty that she couldn't afford to keep apt and had to move back in two years ago.

Does it?

No it doesn’t.