I had to change my personality to be a SN mom who advocates for my child

[Anonymous]

It is an ongoing process and some days it's leaves me in tears or with a migraine or just plain exhausted and exasperated, but it is so worth it even in the darkest days. While I make sure to be professional and respectful regardless, I had to throw out the window any ounce of passivity. I had work hard to thicken my skin. I had to give up caring what anyone thinks. I have to tune out all the noise and focus and the tactics and any manipulation and focus on what the experts and I agree is best for my child. I've had teachers and/or administrators treat us with such kindness and warmth. I've had them glare at me, complain about me and yes, undermine me and screw my kid, but I treat each and every one with professionalism and have learned to accept some will be catalysts and others will be obstacles, but I am getting where we need to go regardless. We've had private interventionists who were life changing. We've been pawns in a profit machine too. I don't have time for grudges or resentment. Just gratitude for those who did right and gratitude for moving forward despite those who did wrong by us. Hopefully those folks will one day have an "aha" moment and learn or at least feel some remorse.

For all those professionals who are thinking if only you knew our side. Don't worry. Not only do I always try to think of what it is like to be in your shoes, I have made sure each and every one of you who did right by us knew it in many ways. I have also actually been in your shoes. I know some of you have walked in mine. I don't expect perfection or anywhere near it.

I don't miss the old me because she would have been useless in the current me's life. Sometimes feel like a stranger in my own skin. Then I remind myself of all the progress my child has made and I embrace the person I am.

Thanks for letting me write this strange rambling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: It is an ongoing process and some days it's leaves me in tears or with a migraine or just plain exhausted and exasperated, but it is so worth it even in the darkest days. While I make sure to be professional and respectful regardless, I had to throw out the window any ounce of passivity. I had work hard to thicken my skin. I had to give up caring what anyone thinks. I have to tune out all the noise and focus and the tactics and any manipulation and focus on what the experts and I agree is best for my child. I've had teachers and/or administrators treat us with such kindness and warmth. I've had them glare at me, complain about me and yes, undermine me and screw my kid, but I treat each and every one with professionalism and have learned to accept some will be catalysts and others will be obstacles, but I am getting where we need to go regardless. We've had private interventionists who were life changing. We've been pawns in a profit machine too. I don't have time for grudges or resentment. Just gratitude for those who did right and gratitude for moving forward despite those who did wrong by us. Hopefully those folks will one day have an "aha" moment and learn or at least feel some remorse.

For all those professionals who are thinking if only you knew our side. Don't worry. Not only do I always try to think of what it is like to be in your shoes, I have made sure each and every one of you who did right by us knew it in many ways. I have also actually been in your shoes. I know some of you have walked in mine. I don't expect perfection or anywhere near it.

I don't miss the old me because she would have been useless in the current me's life. Sometimes feel like a stranger in my own skin. Then I remind myself of all the progress my child has made and I embrace the person I am.

Thanks for letting me write this strange rambling.

This is the new you. The parent/advocate that you will grow to admire and respect for being the best parent you can be.

[Anonymous]

Right their with you sister. Do you think I got up at 4:30 in the morning before?

[Anonymous]

NP...^^ LoL preach!!

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you've taken a difficult situation and turned it into a great learning experience, OP. Good for you

[Anonymous]

Nice job OP! I think many moms and dads posting here will agree with you. hugs!

[Anonymous]

I have developed a jaded sense of humor. I think someone needs to do a spoof of Taylor Swift's "Reputation" with a SN mom dealing with the school doing wrong by their child and lying. Some of the lyrics speak to me..or at least the lyrics I think I hear

"I don't like your little games"

"I got smarter I got harder in the nick of the time"

"I don't trust nobody and nobody trusts me."

When I take things farther because there is a violation and nobody cares.

"Look what you made me do."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have developed a jaded sense of humor. I think someone needs to do a spoof of Taylor Swift's "Reputation" with a SN mom dealing with the school doing wrong by their child and lying. Some of the lyrics speak to me..or at least the lyrics I think I hear

"I don't like your little games"

"I got smarter I got harder in the nick of the time"

"I don't trust nobody and nobody trusts me."

When I take things farther because there is a violation and nobody cares.

"Look what you made me do."

+1 ha, good job!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have developed a jaded sense of humor. I think someone needs to do a spoof of Taylor Swift's "Reputation" with a SN mom dealing with the school doing wrong by their child and lying. Some of the lyrics speak to me..or at least the lyrics I think I hear

"I don't like your little games"

"I got smarter I got harder in the nick of the time"

"I don't trust nobody and nobody trusts me."

When I take things farther because there is a violation and nobody cares.

"Look what you made me do."

My song is Gloria Gaynor’s “I will Survive”. A few changes to the lyrics there too.

[Anonymous]

Wow, I found your post very reassuring and I wanted to say thanks for posting it. I'm new to the Special Education environment as my son is only in pre-school. This is information I will need when I am feeling thin-skinned or like a push-over. I am thanking you (and God) that you would find it in your heart to share kindness even when it is not shared with you. It is that kind of light that gives hope to all

[Anonymous]

I’ve had to develop a thick skin and be a fierce Mama bear when it comes to SN DS, although I’m timid by nature. I’ve also learned to pick my battles because parenting is a marathon not a sprint.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve had to develop a thick skin and be a fierce Mama bear when it comes to SN DS, although I’m timid by nature. I’ve also learned to pick my battles because parenting is a marathon not a sprint.

Definitely pick the battle.

[Anonymous]

((hugs))

[Anonymous]

I did it too!!! I did not have an assertive personality, particularly around my family.....

But I have changed, and become more assertive, in order to get DS what he needs.

Just last week, I negotiated significant changes to his IEP that will make a big difference for him.

It was hard to change, but it is worth it.