Married but she has her own home?

[Anonymous]

What do you all think of this situation:

Two 40-somethings get married. They’ve both been divorced before, one (he) has school-aged children. They both owned homes, though his is much nicer/bigger than hers. She still occasionally retreats to her old house for a couple nights.

It’s JUST like Carrie in SATC only in real life!

This can’t be healthy for the marriage, can it?

She claims she doesn’t feel comfortable in his home and she needs the familiarity of her home, so every week, she spends days at her home. They can’t move just yet due to a custody agreement regarding schooling the children.

[Anonymous]

Why is this your business?

[Anonymous]

Why do you care?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you care?

Maybe I’m the guy. ?

[Anonymous]

I think it sounds heavenly for all involved. Everyone, including the children, have the opportunity to more slowly transition into the family unit. Everyone gets their space. I think if there were children involved it would be weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it sounds heavenly for all involved. Everyone, including the children, have the opportunity to more slowly transition into the family unit. Everyone gets their space. I think if there were children involved it would be weird.

*wasn't

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it sounds heavenly for all involved. Everyone, including the children, have the opportunity to more slowly transition into the family unit. Everyone gets their space. I think if there were children involved it would be weird.

no, it's weird.
- BTDT on the divorce, kids and re-marriage. No way either one of us would have accepted anything less than 100% commitment to the new blended family and new home (and we both still have our old homes - but they are rented and we consider them as assets, not safe havens to which either of us could "escape")

[Anonymous]

He wouldnt want her FWB coming to his house, would he?

[Anonymous]

Does she have kids? If not, it may be the only way she can get some peace and quiet. If she's lived without kids her whole life, moving in with them is a huge adjustment. Personally I wouldn't want to move in with someone else's kids either, but of course she should've thought about that before she got married!

Did you talk about the living arrangement and the kid situation before you got married?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it sounds heavenly for all involved. Everyone, including the children, have the opportunity to more slowly transition into the family unit. Everyone gets their space. I think if there were children involved it would be weird.

*wasn't

I agree. i think it is awesome the kids can have their own house with their dad without his new wife being there.

#heaven

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He wouldnt want her FWB coming to his house, would he?

Pardon my ignorace, but what is FWB?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it sounds heavenly for all involved. Everyone, including the children, have the opportunity to more slowly transition into the family unit. Everyone gets their space. I think if there were children involved it would be weird.

*wasn't

I agree. i think it is awesome the kids can have their own house with their dad without his new wife being there.

#heaven

What does that say about the marriage though?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it sounds heavenly for all involved. Everyone, including the children, have the opportunity to more slowly transition into the family unit. Everyone gets their space. I think if there were children involved it would be weird.

no, it's weird.
- BTDT on the divorce, kids and re-marriage. No way either one of us would have accepted anything less than 100% commitment to the new blended family and new home (and we both still have our old homes - but they are rented and we consider them as assets, not safe havens to which either of us could "escape")

All the teens/tweens/20-something I know would love to have their parent alone without the entanglement of and "other" adult to deal with.

Maybe you should ask your kids. BTW, steps should not be 100% they are NOT the parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you care?

Maybe I’m the guy. ?

Are you?

[Anonymous]

HA that's pretty insane.

Reminds me of this article I read where one woman has a house and career in LA, her husband meanwhile is based in NYC. They only see each other a few months out of the year and she said something like 'well, as people get older they need space but our marriage is great'.