Something fishy is going on with BFFs husband
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Anonymous
| He is suddenly working very long hours - till 10pm at night some days and having to go to some conference at 6am the next and acting anxious and testy all the time. I suspect something is up - drugs, affair, gambling. Who knows. Should I say it sounds weird or just myob? I think she wants me to say something so she isn't the first to say it. We have been bff since age 13 and I feel weird myob. |
Anonymous
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"I feel he is behaving very differently than he used to and that concerns me. Have you talked to him about it?" And go from there. |
Anonymous
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Maybe he is working hard and has work stress
Don't invent drama and MYOB. Good lord. |
Anonymous
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Is BFF venting to you about this? Because, to me, that's very different than offering an unsolicited opinion even if it is glaringly obvious that something has changed in their household.
I'd go with "is this something you want to talk about?" as an opener and then just listen. |
Anonymous
| She's been your friend longer than he's been her husband. It's fine to broach the subject in a neutral, nonjudgmental way. |
Anonymous
Yes, but make your concern about her and see if she brings up anything else. “Larlo is working long hours lately. How are you holding up with him being gone more? Do you want to get together for dinner so you don’t have to be alone at night? I’d love to catch up!” |
Anonymous
| Devil’s Advocate here, but my husband was recently passed up for a promotion for a few fixable reasons, and lately he’s been working his tail off to improve on those things. He’s working 12 hour days in hopes he won’t be passed up again. He’s also been going to training conferences, and has been gone quite often. |
Anonymous
You seem very unfamiliar with people who have serious jobs with important deadlines. Is your bf's husband a contractor working on a proposal? If this is so, he might lose his job if his group doesn't win. What type of work experience do you have op? |
Anonymous
This. |
Anonymous
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This NYT account of a husband's secret double-life is just too haunting (though I am not suggesting it's necessarily the case here OP):
https://mobile.nytimes.com/2017/07/15/business/lawyers-addiction-mental-health.html?mc=aud_dev&mcid=keywee&mccr=dommob&kwp_0=465603&kwp_4=1697138&kwp_1=727602&referer=https://m.facebook.com/ |
Anonymous
| Unless your friend is an idiot, she knows her husband is working more. Leave it alone, not your place at all! |
Anonymous
| Maybe, just maybe, he’s in a career that gets slammed with deadlines as the end of the year approaches? The horror!! |
Anonymous
NP. Just read the article- wow. |
Anonymous
Just read this - interesting account, although I think it's a bit rich when the wife blames the law firm for not noticing that the employee is on drugs when she herself, *family*, missed every single sign. Everyone is always looking to blame someone else. |
Anonymous
I found it haunting. And also amazing (in a disturbing way) that he kept up with the work and maintained the charade for so long. |