Jen Hatmaker

[Anonymous]

Heather Armstrong is who opened the online gate wide for mommy bloggers like Jen to make such a living. Jen owes a lot to her. But Jen probably won’t comment on her death because Jen is close to Kristen Howerton. Kristen and Dooce were close back when too, but Dooce slept with Kristen’s now ex-husband. Messy. So while it would make sense for someone in Jen’s position to chime in on the huge issues plaguing online public figures like Dave Hollis and Dooce, there is probably no easy way for her to do so without upsetting various people who touch her same circles. It would also require her to take a long look in an unfiltered mirror too, about her own life and reality vs. social media presence.

Speaking of women sleeping with married men though, how did the curious public never learn the identity of Brandon’s side chick from 2019-20? Or was that shared and I missed it? I didn’t follow too closely. All I saw was that it wasn’t Tina. I always wondered if it was someone Jen knew personally (like Kristen and Heather situation) or if it’s anyone she’s having to avoid around town still. That could explain some of Jen’s ongoing anxiousness when home especially, if the other woman still lives nearby and even if they run in separate circles. Betrayal trauma runs deep as discussed earlier. I always figured the quick sell of the lake house had more to do with betrayal location than financial stress. Jen appears happier when she’s on the road, whether traveling for work or with Tyler or friends.

[Anonymous]

That’s because Remy’s shoes and towels don’t follow her on the road. 🙄

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have mixed feelings about all the snarking on Jen’s appearance. On one hand, it feels mean. Yeah, she has some pretty bad misses when she dresses up but overall her daily casual looks are fine. I think the issue is that she’s trying some hair/beauty/fashion influencer stuff and that opens you up to criticism - especially if that’s not your strong suit and you started out as a faith/family influencer and people feel you’ve lost your voice and authenticity.

Yup, I think it’s the loss of authenticity that stings. Especially people who have followed her for years and years. I have known many people who dress crazy/fun or particularly showy, and it’s who they have always been so it suits them. Doesn’t strike as odd or gimicky, even if it’s not traditionally-age-appropriate or situation-appropriate.

That same loss of authenticity in every area of her life is what brought most commentators and readers to free-speech spaces like this one. Her going from all-in in Jesus to faith being a total sidebar in her life, and very loosely at that. Her quest for minimalism and humility that somehow turned into materialism and image-obsession. Her being a doting mom (even in occasional humorous lamenting of the process) to genuinely snarking on her own kids (well, kid) publicly as material. So for a beautiful someone who used to glow in her more casual/natural appearance, it is definitely unsettling to see the overdone hair/makeup and try-hard outfits. It’s unnecessary and feels, well, inauthentic.

[Anonymous]

Can we talk about addiction? Influencers who need help and constant pressure to feel mentally and physically at their best succumbing to alcohol and drugs and Dooce got this pass on here in posts earlier for stepping out of the spotlight but then died by suicide. It feels hopeless.

[Anonymous]

Agree. Nobody can be at their peak all the time. Especially in perimenopause and the phase in life of the statistically highest suicidal age. You aren’t alone.

[Anonymous]

Kristen and Dooce were close back when too, but Dooce slept with Kristen’s now ex-husband

Whoa well that would explain Kristen's crickets on Dooce's passing, even after bonding on a poverty tour.

[Anonymous]

Glennon Doyle was shocked (allegedly) at her recent anorexia diagnosis, when people had questioned this for years. I am not a fan of Doyle.

She is SO problematic. Another person I wish would retreat from the limelight and get actual help. Poor Abby.
Class A narcissist as a PP mentioned- 100%.

[Anonymous]

Personally I don't like the happy hooker look for any age. It looks sad and desperate at 50

I used to work with folks from the UK and they had a hilarious phrase for it- "Mutton dressed as lamb." So spot on!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can we talk about addiction? Influencers who need help and constant pressure to feel mentally and physically at their best succumbing to alcohol and drugs and Dooce got this pass on here in posts earlier for stepping out of the spotlight but then died by suicide. It feels hopeless.

I'm the one whose parents were addicts and I actually don't think it's hopeless! I think that we always find a way to keep going every single day and if you mess up one day, then you start again the next day and try again. it's definitely not hopeless! Despite their addictions, I LOVED my parents. I went to Target today and literally went down the card aisle and started picking out a Mother's Day card before realizing I no longer have a mom. And that's because she's just so present in my every day psyche and because I loved her so much.

It's kind of hard to give anyone a pass when no one here knows what the true struggle was. But for those in the everyday struggle, you matter, you're loved and you're so worth fighting for. So keep fighting every day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Kristen and Dooce were close back when too, but Dooce slept with Kristen’s now ex-husband

Whoa well that would explain Kristen's crickets on Dooce's passing, even after bonding on a poverty tour.

Kristen actually posted a story about Dooce's passing. I think it was posted in the Dooce thread on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Kristen and Dooce were close back when too, but Dooce slept with Kristen’s now ex-husband

Whoa well that would explain Kristen's crickets on Dooce's passing, even after bonding on a poverty tour.

Kristen actually posted a story about Dooce's passing. I think it was posted in the Dooce thread on DCUM.

she did post a quick sentence and called Dooce a former friend and said something about mental illness being devastating because she saw firsthand how it can take a creative/productive person down a path of destructive choices and eventually death.

[Anonymous]

I have a genuine question about Jen Hatmaker’s bathroom beauty how-to videos. I always assumed she was setting up the camera and filming them herself, alone. But in the latest lipstick video, it looks like it’s moving around. Does someone stand there and film these for her? Who would that be? Tyler? Remy? A paid assistant? And how does she make money from Beauty Counter? Does she get a cut from sales when people use her link? Or does BC pay her a flat fee to do commercials like this? Or do people have to register underneath her, MLM style, and she makes money off of that? The whole thing puzzles me.

Only 2 Facebook comments in 7-8 hours. One says “wow amazing” which I can’t tell if that’s sarcastic or not. The other made a request for more affordable product endorsements and says she wants an outfit for $55, not a lipstick. Jen looks beautiful though. It’s not a knock on her. Just the whole system. This whole ridiculous social media influenced system. Over it.

[Anonymous]

she did post a quick sentence and called Dooce a former friend and said something about mental illness being devastating because she saw firsthand how it can take a creative/productive person down a path of destructive choices and eventually death.

I thought Kristen's post was pretty generous because she sort of took Heather off the hook for being a horrible friend and homewrecker and pointed to her mental illness instead to explain her betrayal. Not sure I'd be able to frame it that way for myself, even if the person had passed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Speaking of women sleeping with married men though, how did the curious public never learn the identity of Brandon’s side chick from 2019-20? Or was that shared and I missed it? I didn’t follow too closely. All I saw was that it wasn’t Tina. I always wondered if it was someone Jen knew personally (like Kristen and Heather situation) or if it’s anyone she’s having to avoid around town still. That could explain some of Jen’s ongoing anxiousness when home especially, if the other woman still lives nearby and even if they run in separate circles. Betrayal trauma runs deep as discussed earlier. I always figured the quick sell of the lake house had more to do with betrayal location than financial stress. Jen appears happier when she’s on the road, whether traveling for work or with Tyler or friends.

I always suspected a Brandon and Rachel Hollis affair, because those two couples were super close until they suddenly weren't and with no explanation. And then they both divorced around the same time. And suddenly Dave and Jen were the best of friends. Granted, Jen had raved about Dave previously, but after their divorces, it seemed to elevate. And darn near crickets for anything between Jen and Rachel since the divorces.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

she did post a quick sentence and called Dooce a former friend and said something about mental illness being devastating because she saw firsthand how it can take a creative/productive person down a path of destructive choices and eventually death.

I thought Kristen's post was pretty generous because she sort of took Heather off the hook for being a horrible friend and homewrecker and pointed to her mental illness instead to explain her betrayal. Not sure I'd be able to frame it that way for myself, even if the person had passed.

Agreed. She can be proud of the fact that she chose to acknowledge Dooce, and also proud of how she did so. I respect her more for it. I know her heart will always ache at times over the pain of that friend/husband betrayal. That kind of pain never fully goes away, even if the causers of harm die. But Kristen took the high road here, while also putting a helpful reminder out to the public: that mental illness should be on our radar. It steals, kills, and destroys.