Thinking about having #2

[Anonymous]

So I'm finally ready to start thinking about having a second child, my DS is now 27m old. The hurdle I can't get over is the money! We're comfortable now, making good money in stable jobs, but I just can't stop stressing about all the costs for #2. I'd want to do everything I did for the first -- new furniture, re-do the guest room, etc.....which adds up fast!

But then the real worry is day care. We had a home-based provider for the first 2 years and loved it, but that's because we lucked into one with only one other baby! now he's in a day care center (b/c our provider moved & he needed more socialization) that doesn't have an infant room.

I don't know taht we can afford double daycare at $300-400 per week, i'm pretty sure we can't. That said, I don't know if we could find another quality option for both kids at $500-600 per week (what I ESTIMATE we can afford). I figure my optiosn are

- a nanny or nanny share for both + PT preschool (nanny woudl need to drive)
- a home based provider for the baby + day care for my toddler
- a home based provider for both
- a new center for both (probably too expensive)

We live in the Glenmont area of Silver Spring, and to be honest I didn't find any centers that I felt comfrotable with their infant rooms anyway! I work a reduced schedule, so would need care "only" 40 hours per week. I'm thinking a fall 2010 baby woudl be wondeful, putting me back to work in January 2011.

I know so many people have been through this already, I'm hoping someone can help me think through this so I can stop stressing & start making the baby!

Thanks!!

[Anonymous]

This is a very valid question and something that most parents probably faced.

I can only tell you what we did, and you'll have to decide if it can work for you.

Before trying for #2, we sat down and looked at our budget and figured out how we could "find" the money for daycare for #2. In our case, we found that by cutting down our dining-out and entertainment expenses each month, we could afford it. We don't mind cooking, so this was something we could live with.

I have a friend who recently tried this approach and they found the money by reducing their gas bill (husband had a long daily commute in a gas-guzzler, they were spending $400 a month on gas alone!!) and getting rid of cable TV, home internet service to help save money (they both had iphones and felt they could do enough internet with those that they didn't need the extra expense) and land-line phones.

I know for some families might not be comfortable with those kinds of cuts, but it might give you some ideas on how to creatively find some space in your budget.

[Anonymous]

I am pregnant with #2 (#1 is 17 mo. old). #2 came a little sooner than expected, but we figure people of all financial levels have more than 1 kid all the time. I think you just find a way to get by. I'd love to work part time, but know my salary wouldn't even cover daycare for 2 so we will weigh what is most important. We will probably plan on a couple tight years & then move to a cheaper neighborhood with good schools. My DD is also in a home daycare but will switch her to a preschool based center since she'll be the oldest amongst babies & she'll need the socialization. I'm leaning towards, preschool/center daycare & home daycare for the infant which means 2 drop offs, but will meet the needs of each child.

[Anonymous]

I don't know if you want tpo do this or if it is possible, but have you considered spacing out your two children farther apart, so as only to have pay one daycare at a time, or for less time?

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the replies. I (as the financial 'manager' in our house) have been scrutinizing our budget and there is some places we can cut down. I have been dumping all our extra cash into our 2nd mortgage payment (we are one of "those" people who bought at the peak & are now screwed), and estimate that it will be paid off before the baby arries - hopefully allowing us to refinance and that'll bring some extra cash monthly.

It's nice to hear that there are people that do double drop-offs, it seems like a pain but you're right, if it's what is right for each child that's what is most important. It will extend at least one of their days while I get the other one, but that's a tradeoff we'd have to deal with.

I have thought abotu waiting longer, reducing the years that we'll have to pay double day care, but i really like the idea of having siblings close in age. At this point it'd be about 2 years double day care, and as one poster said, a few years of tight spending, but it seems worth it

I have to figure out how much a nanny would cost, and if that'd be a way to save over double day care; it seems like it would be, but I really can't get a straight answer on how much the going rate it....the answer always is "it depends", which I understand, but makes it impossible to budget!!

Thanks!
OP

[Anonymous]

We're expecting #2 and they'll be just two year apart so I hear you...

Of course it depends but to give you an idea,
in NW DC our nanny -- with limited English but legal, with a car, years of experience,... -- did cost us $13 per hour with 1 child (plus $1 tax) and now costs us $17 x1/2 (+$1 tax) in a nannyshare with another toddler.

My understanding is that if it was two kids of the same family the rate would have be slightly less, maybe $16 an hour.

We plan on keeping our nanny, start our son in daycare/preschool a month before the baby arrives and find another baby to share our nanny asap. This would be slightly more expensive than our nanny for our two kids but I think it would not be fun for our first one.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it depends, but you could probably find a nanny for both your kids for $600 wk, maybe a little more. But then if you want part-time preschool that would be extra. However, I know in my Silver Spring neighborhood (not Glenmont, but still the burbs), there are a couple of neighborhood preschools that are pretty affordable.

[Anonymous]

Compared to day care, preschool is the deal of the century! I looked at a few near us last year - when making the decision about day care after our home provider left - and for the part time preschools they're cheap, so that's not a huge part of my concern, but you're right, I do need to factor it in when budgeting.

Do you really think I could find a FT nanny for $600/week for a toddler and an infant? Total, that's $15 before taxes, which it sounds like would end up $13-14 take home for the nanny. I'm hoping that is true, though i've gotten such mixed stories - some people say I'm nuts & it's impossible some say that it's totally realistic....I don't know who to believe! I know it's really "it depends"....on the nanny, on the arrangenet, if i use an agency (likely not) or how the taxes/insurnace works. I wish there was a DC-area nannys for dummies book!!