Is this level of physical touching normal behavior or more?

[Anonymous]

For starters, I am bi. I'm kind of tomboyish, so my attraction to women is a bit obvious and I've dated women on and off for the past decade. I've had women approach me in a professional environment mostly and randomly hug me(Not someone I'm friendly with, we barely know each other) and once a woman rubbed my shoulders. Honestly, I don't mind this behavior, but it's a bit uncomfortable as I'm not sure if it's a friendly gesture or it means more. I don't date within the workplace. although I know a lesbian couple who got married 2 years ago and is expecting a baby girl(one of the women moved to a new company). Is this normal straight woman behavior? Fyi, I'm in my early 30s.

[Anonymous]

I have hugged female colleagues, but only when we haven't seen each other in a long time or they've had a personal setback, and we are good friends (by work standards, not necessarily friends outside of work). No one has ever rubbed my shoulders or tried to give me a "massage". I'm a straight woman who reads as straight. What you describe sounds outside the norm, to me.

[Anonymous]

Wrong board

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wrong board

Why so? I'm looking for straight women to answer the question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have hugged female colleagues, but only when we haven't seen each other in a long time or they've had a personal setback, and we are good friends (by work standards, not necessarily friends outside of work). No one has ever rubbed my shoulders or tried to give me a "massage". I'm a straight woman who reads as straight. What you describe sounds outside the norm, to me.

This is what I'm thinking, but at the same time maybe some women are extra friendly

[Anonymous]

I don't generally touch my co-workers aside from a handshake, but I do know some people who seem to just hug everyone (Innocent, but uncomfortable for us non-huggers). I think what you are describing is a bit touchy feely than would be normal in the workplace. Does it bother you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't generally touch my co-workers aside from a handshake, but I do know some people who seem to just hug everyone (Innocent, but uncomfortable for us non-huggers). I think what you are describing is a bit touchy feely than would be normal in the workplace. Does it bother you?

Not necessarily. Because I am interested in women touching can be misconstrued as more than it's intended to be. For example, when my co-worker hugged me recently it felt like more than just a friendly hug. Then again, it could've just felt that way on my end

[Anonymous]

I will hug women at the office but only really rarely (your dad died, you got engaged, you are young & you got into grad school). I'm straight.

[Anonymous]

I'm bi woman. Workplace hugging is not typical in my environment and if it is, it's a quick, one second thing to say hello after a long time or for milestones.

The difference to me (I know you asked straight people, sorry) is the duration of the hug and the points of body contact. Just arms around the neck for a quick pat while the lower part of the body remains in its personal space? That is a platonic hug. If points below shoulders touch, legs are closer to each other, it's more than a quick little shoulder touch, then you have a "something more" hug.

Do you like her?

[Anonymous]

12:46 again. Shoulder rubbing/massaging is abnormal. So it's flirting or a socially inaware person. Or harassment.

[Anonymous]

Some people are really touchy-feely. I actually had a boss like that, and it wasn't creepy, it's just how he was with everybody.

See if this person is like that with everyone else.

[Anonymous]

NP, straight woman here. I personally am not a particularly touchy feely person, especially at work. I don't like shoulder massages from anybody, male or female, but definitely not at work.

I have had some colleagues who are more huggy than I am. Always women. And they hug me when they see me after a considerable time has passed and we haven't seen each other. I've been known to hug people if they are having particularly rough times (death of a pet, family member, similar).

The shoulder rub -- yuck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm bi woman. Workplace hugging is not typical in my environment and if it is, it's a quick, one second thing to say hello after a long time or for milestones.

The difference to me (I know you asked straight people, sorry) is the duration of the hug and the points of body contact. Just arms around the neck for a quick pat while the lower part of the body remains in its personal space? That is a platonic hug. If points below shoulders touch, legs are closer to each other, it's more than a quick little shoulder touch, then you have a "something more" hug.

Do you like her?

The second paragraph is good to know. Well I've only seen this person around a few times. I barely know her

[Anonymous]

I'd go for it. You never know if you don't try

[Anonymous]

I am bi, but I come across as someone who is unapproachable, so no one ever dares to touch me unless I say it's ok. I do NOT like to be touched.