Married folks: old friend of opposite sex you talk to/text frequently?

[Anonymous]

I'm wondering how normal it is to have a friend of the opposite sex who you talk to via text anywhere from once a month or so to several times a week? Both married. Friend is from childhood/adolescence. Talk about general stuff like what's going on with family/kids, upcoming races, vacations, music, etc. Occasional pictures sent (of normal stuff, not sexual or flirty). Is this normal? Unusual? Troublesome? Thoughts please.

[Anonymous]

I have a few. It’s totally normal and my husband wouldn’t find anything to worry about if he read my phone.

[Anonymous]

Totally normal. I have a few- not sure why it would be troublesome if it's just a friendship?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a few. It’s totally normal and my husband wouldn’t find anything to worry about if he read my phone.

+1 My DH doesn't look at my phone/computer but I have nothing to hide. I never give him a reason to look and I never look at his. We never sext each other but that might be fun!

[Anonymous]

Best NOT to happen. Keep it general on Facebook. Or keep communication focused on plans to get together as two couples.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Best NOT to happen. Keep it general on Facebook. Or keep communication focused on plans to get together as two couples.

Give me a break.

It's fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm wondering how normal it is to have a friend of the opposite sex who you talk to via text anywhere from once a month or so to several times a week? Both married. Friend is from childhood/adolescence. Talk about general stuff like what's going on with family/kids, upcoming races, vacations, music, etc. Occasional pictures sent (of normal stuff, not sexual or flirty). Is this normal? Unusual? Troublesome? Thoughts please.

I do this, but they just happen to be gay males. Hubby has straight female friends from college he's in touch with.

[Anonymous]

Normal to text. I don't really talk to many people on the phone these days, but I think that's normal too if you are into that sort of thing. I like that my DH has female friends - can't stand men who view women as either sex objects or nonexistent (cough MIKE PENCE cough). I also have male friends whom I text about mutual interests.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Best NOT to happen. Keep it general on Facebook. Or keep communication focused on plans to get together as two couples.

+1

[Anonymous]

Yep. I talk with him a few times a week. Sometimes a couple of times a day. Totally platonic. DH knows him, but doesn't really get involved.

[Anonymous]

DH and I both have one. We both know and occasionally interact with the other spouse's friend and have not had issues or red flags.

[Anonymous]

Yes I have one. An old co-worker. Text pretty often. DH knows we are good friends and has never said anything. I have nothing to hide.

[Anonymous]

I don’t mind this if the friend is from before I came along, especially a friend from growing up. I have a problem if you meet someone new of the opposite sex and all of a sudden they’re your “best friend.”

[Anonymous]

If it makes you feel uneasy, listen to your gut. If you find you have to justify the "just friends" thing in your mind, it probably means there's something more to pay attention to.

[Anonymous]

Yea...I have a few friends that I text with. I even show DH some of the texts.

He also has a woman who was in his best friend circle growing up. She was in our wedding. She is married and lives out West. We have hung out as families many times. They text at least once a day.

Then again we have been married 25 years and DH has been open about their relationship from the start. TBH, it is the relationships that you DON"T know about that are the problems.