Social media rules-would love to hear from those who don't allow it

[Anonymous]

Kind of a spinoff of the Snapchat thread...

I have a question for those who do not allow any social media. Is there an age that you have set where you will allow it? Do you believe that they are following your rules when you're not around? Also anyone with older children(college age maybe?) who would like to weigh in on anything you would do differently in regards to parenting and social media.

[Anonymous]

My kid is entering college soon, and we put no real restrictions on him. Nor have we ever.

Kids are different. My child isn't one to waste time on line, is easily interrupted, and is just not motivated by the social scene at school. He and his friends all seem to have no restrictions yet don't really do snap chat, twitter, or not do their homework. We always reserved the right to check anything we want and always kept communication open. It worked out without a massive set of rules.

YMMV. My kid doesn't even want to be involved in the stuff parents don't like. He's pretty introverted, and all the rehashing of the school day is not appealing.

[Anonymous]

They were allowed it as soon a it became overwhelming popular amongst their peer groups. Privacy settings weren't negotiable. At the same time, they have no right to privacy regarding their online usage. I implement this rule more to help them understand "big brother" is always watching. I don't want them to think they're entitled to false sense of privacy on these sites.

[Anonymous]

Once they are in high school, most of the club and athletic activities are organized and communicated through social media. It's the only way the kids would know about things that are going on.

[Anonymous]

I allowed it when I thought their maturity would allow them to deal with anything that would come up.

[Anonymous]

Not in elementary school for certain. That is just negligent and irresponsible parenting.

The minimum age set by social media is 13. Middle school (with supervision) is a good age to start building experience with social media.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid is entering college soon, and we put no real restrictions on him. Nor have we ever.

Kids are different. My child isn't one to waste time on line, is easily interrupted, and is just not motivated by the social scene at school. He and his friends all seem to have no restrictions yet don't really do snap chat, twitter, or not do their homework. We always reserved the right to check anything we want and always kept communication open. It worked out without a massive set of rules.

YMMV. My kid doesn't even want to be involved in the stuff parents don't like. He's pretty introverted, and all the rehashing of the school day is not appealing.

same with us. My oldest is a freshman, 14 and uses social media very little. Not interested other than to connect to his activities. My 7th grader is not interested at all. He has all the platforms but rarely touches his phone unless he is leaving the house. Youngest is only 9-has no platforms. My husband and I are not active on social media and our kids had strict limits on electronics growing up-none on school days-so they learned to occupy themselves I guess. I don't have a better explanation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kind of a spinoff of the Snapchat thread...

I have a question for those who do not allow any social media. Is there an age that you have set where you will allow it? Do you believe that they are following your rules when you're not around? Also anyone with older children(college age maybe?) who would like to weigh in on anything you would do differently in regards to parenting and social media.

Not allowing it seems cruel considering this is the primary way kids socialize.

The most important rule is no friend/connection with anyone they don't know in real life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kind of a spinoff of the Snapchat thread...

I have a question for those who do not allow any social media. Is there an age that you have set where you will allow it? Do you believe that they are following your rules when you're not around? Also anyone with older children(college age maybe?) who would like to weigh in on anything you would do differently in regards to parenting and social media.

Not allowing it seems cruel considering this is the primary way kids socialize.

The most important rule is no friend/connection with anyone they don't know in real life.

If this is the primary way your kids socialize, you have real problems!

[Anonymous]

My kid uses Snapchat to talk to his closeknit group of friends the same way I used a landline telephone to talk to my friends when I was in high school in the late 80s. It would be cruel to not let him use it. He uses it right in front of me all the time and he prefers it to regular texting - he's not sending nudes to his girlfriend from our living room! He doesn't care if someone is looking over his shoulder when he receives a snap (not that I'm particularly interested).

He's had Instagram for several years. I looked at his page. He has all of 10 posts which are nice pics of him with his friends. He doesn't have a secret account full of nasty stuff.

Most of our kids are perfectly good kids who don't deserve to be preemptively punished because DCUM says Snapchat is the devil. Just tell them to stick with communicating with people they know. That's really all there is to it.

[Anonymous]

If this is the primary way your kids socialize, you have real problems!

This is how kids make plans, talk about homework, chat, etc. when they're not together. I don't think PP meant that her kid sits alone at home on SnapChat any time he is not in school. You never communicated with your friends in high school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kind of a spinoff of the Snapchat thread...

I have a question for those who do not allow any social media. Is there an age that you have set where you will allow it? Do you believe that they are following your rules when you're not around? Also anyone with older children(college age maybe?) who would like to weigh in on anything you would do differently in regards to parenting and social media.

Not allowing it seems cruel considering this is the primary way kids socialize.

The most important rule is no friend/connection with anyone they don't know in real life.

If this is the primary way your kids socialize, you have real problems!

Oh, honey, bless your heart. i'm going to guess you have young elementary school children. Were you one of these pregnant women who were certain how they would parent?

[Anonymous]

I love bless your heart ...

[Anonymous]

There is a big push to have parents wait until 8th grade before getting their kids smart phones and social media (https://www.waituntil8th.org/why-wait/). We haven't let our 7th grader have access to social media yet. She gets by fine with texting and email right now. I do with more people would wait as 6th and 7th grade seems very young to be navigating the nuanced online communication and potential to get sucked in/ addicted. We let our 9th grader do snap chat in 8th grade (after agreeing with the parents of a very small group of friends) and instagram in 9th grade. I have access to all the posts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

If this is the primary way your kids socialize, you have real problems!

This is how kids make plans, talk about homework, chat, etc. when they're not together. I don't think PP meant that her kid sits alone at home on SnapChat any time he is not in school. You never communicated with your friends in high school?

Im curious - why don't they do this through text/group chat? How is snapchat or instagram different?