s/o - for people who don't eat in restaurants, how and where do you socialize?

[Anonymous]

Hope it's ok to put this in this forum - it might be better in off topic.

On all these "how do I cut expenses" threads, I see it recommended that you stop eating in restaurants. That does sound like sensible money-saving advice - but if you do it, how and when do you socialize with other adults? I would say that our restaurant meals are as much about finding a time and place to see friends as they are about the food (we don't eat at super expensive places, but they can be maybe $20 or so per person, perhaps a little more if we have a drink or two).

Where do you see your friends - and how much does that tend to cost, then? Do you just go to people's houses?

[Anonymous]

We have people over our house or go to somebody's house every weekend.

I do his with close friends so we sometimes order in and split the cost.

My friends H loves to smoke food so he does the meat and we fill in with sides.

Sometimes we each eat dinner at our house and then just meet up after for drinks.

We go hiking, football games, capitals games, pumpkin patch,museums, zoo together.

We also socialize at our kids sports.

[Anonymous]

Restaurants are really gross. If you really knew what went on, you would never eat in one.

I'd much rather invite people over to my house.

[Anonymous]

Going to restaurants is literally paying corporations to poison you with overpriced food. We avoid them not just for finances, but because we value our health and what we put into our bodies.

And as others have noted, we socialize at each others' homes, at parks, at community gatherings, and elsewhere. The idea that you can't socialize without spending money in very specific environments is one more most Americans (and nearly all on DCUM) have been brainwashed into believing.

[Anonymous]

We had a pot luck thing at church last night. The hosting group made lasagna and everyone else brought sides that go with lasagna. A friend and I carpooled to it together and got to visit on the way there and back.

We do a lot of barbecues and pot lucks at each others homes.

We get together at each others homes and play card games. Sometimes we play charades.

Sometimes the women get together and have chick flick movie nights. Sometimes the men get together and watch sports on TV.

One couple from our social circle hosts a Christmas party at their house. Another couple hosts a new years party at their house. Another couple hosts a superbowl party at their house. Another couple hosts a memorial day party at their house. We host Thanksgiving at our house.

[Anonymous]

We invite people over for casual weekend get-togethers. For example, my aunt and her family and my cousin and her family are local. We do taco night, pizza night or chili night-type get-togethers at each other's houses every now and again.

My husband and I love going out by ourselves to dinner and a movie (getting a sitter) and NOT seeing anyone else.

I go to lunch with co-workers once every other week or so, which is nice.

[Anonymous]

they can be maybe $20 or so per person, perhaps a little more if we have a drink or two

A little more with drink or two becomes $50 per person after tax and tip. Not so little.

[Anonymous]

When I was in my early 20's and dating my boyfriend who eventually became my husband, we would get together on Saturday nights with this other couple. The other couple were also in their early 20's and already had two kids, so they were dirt poor. Boyfriend and I would get there about 7 p.m. and help get the kids to bed. Then once the kids were settled, we would make popcorn and koolaid, then play cards while eating popcorn and drinking koolaid. We always had a great time. It's some of my best memories of our early adult years before life got complicated with mortgages and kids and replacing water heaters and soccer practice and homework and all the etceteras that come later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

they can be maybe $20 or so per person, perhaps a little more if we have a drink or two

A little more with drink or two becomes $50 per person after tax and tip. Not so little.

I'm the OP - and I know it's not so little. That's why I was asking.

I'm not concerned about the idea of poisoning myself by eating at restaurants - frankly, I'm not such a great cook myself! - but am curious about what the alternatives are for hanging out with friends you would like to see. Hiking is a good one with some friends but definitely not with others. Plus it's a much bigger time commitment than meeting for dinner.

I'm not talking about community potlucks - not something where it's a big group of people. I mean situations where you are spending time with a couple of other people who you are making plans to see and talk to.

And I will add: I am not complaining about how much we spend at restaurants! I enjoy this way of socializing, though of course it'd always be nice to spend less $.

I am mostly just curious what people who don't eat at restaurants do to socialize. It sounds like some of you host at your house - I honestly think that would end up costing just as much to do, plus I'd have to cook and clean up - or you go out to sporting events (doesn't that cost $$, too?), or just see your friends at bigger community gatherings like kids games or church potlucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was in my early 20's and dating my boyfriend who eventually became my husband, we would get together on Saturday nights with this other couple. The other couple were also in their early 20's and already had two kids, so they were dirt poor. Boyfriend and I would get there about 7 p.m. and help get the kids to bed. Then once the kids were settled, we would make popcorn and koolaid, then play cards while eating popcorn and drinking koolaid. We always had a great time. It's some of my best memories of our early adult years before life got complicated with mortgages and kids and replacing water heaters and soccer practice and homework and all the etceteras that come later.

That sounds really nice

[Anonymous]

We drink lots of wine on the back patio with our neighbors. Were those people. I fully realize we fit a trashy stereotype to a tee but its who we are. We also go to highschool football games, church potlucks, and pasta dinners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

they can be maybe $20 or so per person, perhaps a little more if we have a drink or two

A little more with drink or two becomes $50 per person after tax and tip. Not so little.

I'm the OP - and I know it's not so little. That's why I was asking.

I'm not concerned about the idea of poisoning myself by eating at restaurants - frankly, I'm not such a great cook myself! - but am curious about what the alternatives are for hanging out with friends you would like to see. Hiking is a good one with some friends but definitely not with others. Plus it's a much bigger time commitment than meeting for dinner.

I'm not talking about community potlucks - not something where it's a big group of people. I mean situations where you are spending time with a couple of other people who you are making plans to see and talk to.

And I will add: I am not complaining about how much we spend at restaurants! I enjoy this way of socializing, though of course it'd always be nice to spend less $.

I am mostly just curious what people who don't eat at restaurants do to socialize. It sounds like some of you host at your house - I honestly think that would end up costing just as much to do, plus I'd have to cook and clean up - or you go out to sporting events (doesn't that cost $$, too?), or just see your friends at bigger community gatherings like kids games or church potlucks.

We always end up at someone's home after the restaurant to continue the night. We might as well start there if we want to save money. We often cook together. Nobody is really hosting, meaning there is no planning involved, besides the text "at the store, what should I grab?" or "got stuff for hamburgers, do we need beer?".

[Anonymous]

Socializing with neighbors in your homes/yards is not trashy at all!

That said, I find that hosting events is more pricey because you're purchasing food for everyone. OP, I'm similar to you. Dining is out is primarily an avenue to socialize with friends and other adults. Add in that I'm single, and there's an opportunity cost to staying home.

[Anonymous]

I love hosting. It is not cheap. I try to grow a lot of the stuff I serve to help, but it would be cheaper to go out!

I strongly prefer to have families over to our house though--we can all relax and the kids can play loudly without bothering anyone. Plus, I love to cook.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Restaurants are really gross. If you really knew what went on, you would never eat in one.

I'd much rather invite people over to my house.

And I prefer not to go to anyone's house for the reason you stated about restaurants. Had a friend who the whole time she was cooking, her dogs were all over the kitchen and many times, licked whatever she mad. I was so disgusting that I refuse to this day to eat anything she makes.