s/o - for people who don't eat in restaurants, how and where do you socialize?

[Anonymous]

Love eating out. I think it's plebeian not to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Going to restaurants is literally paying corporations to poison you with overpriced food. We avoid them not just for finances, but because we value our health and what we put into our bodies.

And as others have noted, we socialize at each others' homes, at parks, at community gatherings, and elsewhere. The idea that you can't socialize without spending money in very specific environments is one more most Americans (and nearly all on DCUM) have been brainwashed into believing.

Actually Americans, compared to most other places, go to restaurants crazily infrequently. Spend some time in France or Italy and you will absolutely laugh that you ever thought Americans were the ones spending lots of time in restaurants

Um, this is wrong. My family is French and we spend part of each year there. Most French don't eat out more than once a month or so because a.) it's expensive, and b.) it's considered a special event, and not a daily expenditure like here in the US. On top of this, most people you see in French cafes are typically tourists, especially in major cities (Paris, Nice, etc). There's also a lot of government publicity about the importance of healthy eating, and people are actively encouraged to limit eating out. Why are you spreading misinformation?

+1 from an Italian. Most of us don't treat eating out like a daily necessity the way Americans do. I don't understand why someone would make up information about countries and customs s/he clearly has no experience with.

+2 german here.

+3 from a UK citizen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Going to restaurants is literally paying corporations to poison you with overpriced food. We avoid them not just for finances, but because we value our health and what we put into our bodies.

And as others have noted, we socialize at each others' homes, at parks, at community gatherings, and elsewhere. The idea that you can't socialize without spending money in very specific environments is one more most Americans (and nearly all on DCUM) have been brainwashed into believing.

Actually Americans, compared to most other places, go to restaurants crazily infrequently. Spend some time in France or Italy and you will absolutely laugh that you ever thought Americans were the ones spending lots of time in restaurants

Um, this is wrong. My family is French and we spend part of each year there. Most French don't eat out more than once a month or so because a.) it's expensive, and b.) it's considered a special event, and not a daily expenditure like here in the US. On top of this, most people you see in French cafes are typically tourists, especially in major cities (Paris, Nice, etc). There's also a lot of government publicity about the importance of healthy eating, and people are actively encouraged to limit eating out. Why are you spreading misinformation?

Another French person here - correct to some extent. Young professionals do eat out more often, and of course there are always the "working" lunches (my father and his colleagues would stay 2 hours for lunch and bottles of wine, but times are a-changing and the younger generation is faster).

Yep. Nothing like the restaurant scene in Paris. I really miss that.

+1

From a French woman

[Anonymous]

the honest answer is that you don’t socialize as much. having friends = willingness to upkeep.

that being said - hiking trips and apple picking are some examples

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:the honest answer is that you don’t socialize as much. having friends = willingness to upkeep.

that being said - hiking trips and apple picking are some examples

This.

[Anonymous]

We used to have weekly card or board games, make nachos, grill sausage, drink tea in the summer. Winters everyone came to our house. We had soups, stews, cake. It was fun.

Now I can't eat out because I've become intolerant to certain foods and allergic to others. Plus my husband's work life has exploded over the years so he's gone a lot.

I have my pets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you only want to spend 1 hour with people is that correct?


Watching football or the caps on TV is not expensive. Sometimes we get free tickets through work.

Pizza, salad and wine is not expensive. But if making a salad is going to ruin the experience for you because it is so much work then having people over is not a good way to go.

OP here: and yeah, an hour or two. We have a wide circle of people we enjoy socializing with, and aren't really looking to be out until midnight with any of them - just hang out for a couple of hours, then go home. (We are in our mid-40s, and the days of being out all night at a bar or something are long over.)

I do have friends I want to spend more time with than that - we might go on a day trip somewhere. We have some friends we'll go out to a museum with, or go kayaking or something. I have a friend I often go for walks with. It's not that we ONLY go out to dinner - but I would say that 80 percent of our socializing is over a meal. Is that unusual?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's like you don't know that food exists in other places than restaurants, OP.



The only way we can afford our excellent public school is by living frugally. We don't go out much at all, and hardly ever with friends. We prefer going to each other's houses, because then we can spend a lot more time together, and the kids can play while we cook and sit after dinner. Plus I'm picky and only like expensive restaurants .

I'm OP - and I'm not sure why you think I think food doesn't exist outside of restaurants? I was asking where you socialize if you don't eat out, not how you nourish yourself. And pointedly, specifically, I wasn't looking to start a fight - I was just curious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

they can be maybe $20 or so per person, perhaps a little more if we have a drink or two

A little more with drink or two becomes $50 per person after tax and tip. Not so little.

I'm the OP - and I know it's not so little. That's why I was asking.

I'm not concerned about the idea of poisoning myself by eating at restaurants - frankly, I'm not such a great cook myself! - but am curious about what the alternatives are for hanging out with friends you would like to see. Hiking is a good one with some friends but definitely not with others. Plus it's a much bigger time commitment than meeting for dinner.

I'm not talking about community potlucks - not something where it's a big group of people. I mean situations where you are spending time with a couple of other people who you are making plans to see and talk to.

And I will add: I am not complaining about how much we spend at restaurants! I enjoy this way of socializing, though of course it'd always be nice to spend less $.

I am mostly just curious what people who don't eat at restaurants do to socialize. It sounds like some of you host at your house - I honestly think that would end up costing just as much to do, plus I'd have to cook and clean up - or you go out to sporting events (doesn't that cost $$, too?), or just see your friends at bigger community gatherings like kids games or church potlucks.

The people I'd go to restaurants with are close enough friends that no matter whose house we gather at, the dinner is typically potluck. The host makes the main dish, the guest family/ies bring salad and dessert, everybody brings a bottle of wine or a six-pack. There is no way this costs more than going to a restaurant, and it's generally considerably less, especially if people have to pay for sitters as well. And since these are friends, I don't need to have my house spic-and-span--I tidy up, run the vacuum, clean up the sink and toilet.

Another thing to do is have happy hour when the weather is nice--my neighbors do this all the time. They pick up some wine and beer at costco and put out some costco frozen appetizers and crackers and cheese. Almost everyone who comes brings a bottle of wine or something to munch on, so the next happy hour, they don't have to buy any wine at all, LOL, they just put out the bottles people brought last time. They have a lovely patio, so we sit outside--their house could be a disaster for all anyone knows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you only want to spend 1 hour with people is that correct?


Watching football or the caps on TV is not expensive. Sometimes we get free tickets through work.

Pizza, salad and wine is not expensive. But if making a salad is going to ruin the experience for you because it is so much work then having people over is not a good way to go.

OP here: and yeah, an hour or two. We have a wide circle of people we enjoy socializing with, and aren't really looking to be out until midnight with any of them - just hang out for a couple of hours, then go home. (We are in our mid-40s, and the days of being out all night at a bar or something are long over.)

I do have friends I want to spend more time with than that - we might go on a day trip somewhere. We have some friends we'll go out to a museum with, or go kayaking or something. I have a friend I often go for walks with. It's not that we ONLY go out to dinner - but I would say that 80 percent of our socializing is over a meal. Is that unusual?

I'm 50 with teenage children. Most of our socializing is over a meal, but almost always at someone's house. We go to restaurants with friends only rarely. Usually when we go to a restaurant it is just with the kids. I find it much nicer to socialize with friends in someone's home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Going to restaurants is literally paying corporations to poison you with overpriced food. We avoid them not just for finances, but because we value our health and what we put into our bodies.

And as others have noted, we socialize at each others' homes, at parks, at community gatherings, and elsewhere. The idea that you can't socialize without spending money in very specific environments is one more most Americans (and nearly all on DCUM) have been brainwashed into believing.

Actually Americans, compared to most other places, go to restaurants crazily infrequently. Spend some time in France or Italy and you will absolutely laugh that you ever thought Americans were the ones spending lots of time in restaurants

Um, this is wrong. My family is French and we spend part of each year there. Most French don't eat out more than once a month or so because a.) it's expensive, and b.) it's considered a special event, and not a daily expenditure like here in the US. On top of this, most people you see in French cafes are typically tourists, especially in major cities (Paris, Nice, etc). There's also a lot of government publicity about the importance of healthy eating, and people are actively encouraged to limit eating out. Why are you spreading misinformation?

Another French person here - correct to some extent. Young professionals do eat out more often, and of course there are always the "working" lunches (my father and his colleagues would stay 2 hours for lunch and bottles of wine, but times are a-changing and the younger generation is faster).

Yep. Nothing like the restaurant scene in Paris. I really miss that.

+1

From a French woman

I can't follow what people are saying "yep" and "+1" to. The first PP says that Italians and the French eat in restaurants much more than Americans do. The next PP says that this isn't true of the French, they don't eat out more than once a month or so. The next PP says that the previous PP is correct to some extent (meaning that people don't eat out that much in France, except for young people and business people). Then someone says, "yep, nothing like the restaurant scene in Paris," which doesn't seem to follow the notion that the French don't eat out that much. And then a Frenchwoman says, "+1."

So, which is it? Do the French eat out a lot with the result that Paris has a great restaurant scene? Or do they not eat out a lot, but the restaurant scene is great anyway? Confused.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was in my early 20's and dating my boyfriend who eventually became my husband, we would get together on Saturday nights with this other couple. The other couple were also in their early 20's and already had two kids, so they were dirt poor. Boyfriend and I would get there about 7 p.m. and help get the kids to bed. Then once the kids were settled, we would make popcorn and koolaid, then play cards while eating popcorn and drinking koolaid. We always had a great time. It's some of my best memories of our early adult years before life got complicated with mortgages and kids and replacing water heaters and soccer practice and homework and all the etceteras that come later.

Make the koolaid beer, and this sounds like a great night even to this 50 y.o.

[Anonymous]

For people who prefer to socialize over dinner at other people's houses or have other people over for dinner, the unspoken assumption is that you have a house big enough and nice enough for hosting. I have three young children and we entertain at home often, but I am the first to say that our entertaining picked up after we moved into a big house and invested time and $ into making it beautiful. Now we can host four couples with 3 kids each and not worry about the space for everyone, but I don't assume everyone has the same advantages. Plus let's be honest, it's way more work to cook, set up, serve, host and clean vs. just show up, sit your ass at the table, order and eat your food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you only want to spend 1 hour with people is that correct?


Watching football or the caps on TV is not expensive. Sometimes we get free tickets through work.

Pizza, salad and wine is not expensive. But if making a salad is going to ruin the experience for you because it is so much work then having people over is not a good way to go.

OP here: and yeah, an hour or two. We have a wide circle of people we enjoy socializing with, and aren't really looking to be out until midnight with any of them - just hang out for a couple of hours, then go home. (We are in our mid-40s, and the days of being out all night at a bar or something are long over.)

I do have friends I want to spend more time with than that - we might go on a day trip somewhere. We have some friends we'll go out to a museum with, or go kayaking or something. I have a friend I often go for walks with. It's not that we ONLY go out to dinner - but I would say that 80 percent of our socializing is over a meal. Is that unusual?

No. It's just unusual it is always in a restaurant and for 1-2 hours.

Most my friends arrive around 6 and leave at 10. We have drinks and a snack. Then drink wine and eat dinner. Then hang for and hour or two more usually on the deck or patio. We listen to music. Sometimes it's the hour before a game starts, then watch the game and eat.

yes we eat and drink when we socialize, just not in restaurants.

[Anonymous]

I'm not a game person but have been shocked at how much fun it was to have friends over for cocktails and games after our kids were in bed. Viva la cocktail party! Fancy drinks, rocks drinks, beer or wine or lemonade - the expectations are low and who cares! Snacks instead of meals are quite easy too for clean up and setting out. When I have time I'll bake, but otherwise chips and salsa, veggies and hummus, cheese and crackers, olives and or whatever other cookies I'm hiding from the kids. Life is too short to skip seeing friends because the house is messy or you're a little broke. I need to do this more often myself!