Another My Mom is Crazy Rant

[Anonymous]

My mom offered to pay for a service that we can't afford and would have done without for our upcoming move. We would have just done the work ourselves and budgeted our time accordingly. She gave no guidelines for which service, just said to let her know how much to reimburse us. We did and she didn't complain about the price. However, today,s he found out that we found the business online and she's objecting because it doesn't sound like a real company to her. I tried to show her the company's website, BBB info, Yelp Reviews, Angie's List, etc. She doesn't want to look at any of it and says she's disappointed in us for involving her in something that might be a scam. I'm tempted to tell her that this is 2017 and no one has time to flip through the Yellow Pages to find an ad for a mom and pop business, but DH wants to tell her to forget about repaying us. We would take a nasty hit to this month's finances though or incur interest on a credit card. I'm just returning to work so we have no reserves to draw against. I find moving so stressful and this was her way of reducing my stress until it turned into her Luddite-martyr drama fest.

[Anonymous]

Annoying. I could see my mom doing this as well.

Can you absolutely not cancel?

If not, I'd pay as well. The guilt tripping just wouldn't be worth it to me.

It's so hard dealing with this type of parent. I'm sorry OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Annoying. I could see my mom doing this as well.

Can you absolutely not cancel?

If not, I'd pay as well. The guilt tripping just wouldn't be worth it to me.

It's so hard dealing with this type of parent. I'm sorry OP.

Thanks. We could cancel and eat the loss of the deposit, but with the move this week, we no longer have time to take care of the task ourselves. We'd likely lose a chunk of our security deposit on this apartment as well. For us, that's a lot. The guilt trip attempt is going to cause problems in my marriage, but so will credit card debt. I think we will have to deal with her paranoia. She really wants to live in 1965 and I accept that modern business options like online shopping aren't for her, but it's crazy to think a company in the phone book is automatically more reputable than one on Angie's List.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Annoying. I could see my mom doing this as well.

Can you absolutely not cancel?

If not, I'd pay as well. The guilt tripping just wouldn't be worth it to me.

It's so hard dealing with this type of parent. I'm sorry OP.

Thanks. We could cancel and eat the loss of the deposit, but with the move this week, we no longer have time to take care of the task ourselves. We'd likely lose a chunk of our security deposit on this apartment as well. For us, that's a lot. The guilt trip attempt is going to cause problems in my marriage, but so will credit card debt. I think we will have to deal with her paranoia. She really wants to live in 1965 and I accept that modern business options like online shopping aren't for her, but it's crazy to think a company in the phone book is automatically more reputable than one on Angie's List.

When you put it that way, you're right: you can avoid her calls and visits, but you can't avoid the loss of money. She shouldn't have offered the money and left the planning to you. That isn't fair.

[Anonymous]

Why don't you tell her Betty from down the street used them last year and had a wonderful experience. And you were talking to bank teller last week who mentioned she had a cousin who used them and LOVED it. Oh, and your husband's boss used them when they moved and said it couldn't have been better.

And the next time she offers something like this you know to decline.

[Anonymous]

Lol, my mom just found out about Task Rabbits.

"Do they come dressed up as rabbits?"

Old people are so old!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lol, my mom just found out about Task Rabbits.

"Do they come dressed up as rabbits?"

Old people are so old!

And paranoid!

I asked my mom if she wanted me to check if heir info was compromised in the whole Equifax thing. My mom says, "Oh no. Then my info will be out there online."

[Anonymous]

My sister was always getting money from mom to replace carpets or buy a new washing machine but somehow those things never got done.

[Anonymous]

I'm guessing this is a cleaning service?

How can that be a scam? Either they clean or they don't get paid?

[Anonymous]

I think you might be overreacting a little because you're stressed the way it is.

My parents are like this. They're in their early 70's. I'm getting married and hired a wedding photographer whose work is all on Facebook, great FB reviews, been around a few years. My mother cannot grasp the concept of hiring someone based off Facebook. She just can't. What worked was something another poster mentioned--telling her that someone I know used her, mentioning an event that she photographed that my mom knew about, word of mouth stuff.

Also, my mom is still the type that writes checks--she's constantly worried about people stealing her credit card info using one of those fictitious machines that you read about where it allegedly pulls the magnetic strip info from your cards when you're standing in line in wal mart. She would feel a lot more comfortable giving me cash to pay for something or writing a check that she feels would be easy to cancel if something went wrong. Can you do this with her to make her feel more comfortable?

[Anonymous]

PP, credit card info can definitely be stolen.

[Anonymous]

Presumably they'll do the job, yes? Will she give you the money once the work is done? Float it on your credit card for one month, and then have her reimburse you?

[Anonymous]

I'd tell her that her turnaround has put you in a bind, "mom can we pay for it and you can reimburse it when it works out fine? We appreciate your kind offer and frankly depend on it as we hadn't budgeted for it until you offered."
Then no matter if she pays or not, never accept again.

Also I think the pp was on to something with the old timey word of mouth reviews. Nothing moore old fashioned than that.

[Anonymous]

going out on a limb here....did you check yellow pages... Ie maybe they have a listing....which woudl make you MIL feel more secure...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lol, my mom just found out about Task Rabbits.

"Do they come dressed up as rabbits?"

Old people are so old!

And paranoid!

I asked my mom if she wanted me to check if heir info was compromised in the whole Equifax thing. My mom says, "Oh no. Then my info will be out there online."

Ugh SO paranoid! My parents fled Hurricane Irma and came to San Francisco (the nice, Jewish socially awkward parents). Several of their friends/our relatives posted on their Facebook pages "Did you guys escape? If you're near us, come stay here!" or some variation of that. And my father would reply "Susan and I are safe. Thank you for asking. Will text you privately with further details." I kept trying to explain he didn't need to include the last sentence and could just ... text them.

And I totally get not advertising when you're away from your home lest people burglarize, but if you properly lock your Facebook privacy settings, then the only people who would know you're away are people you trust not to steal from you.