If your child goes to weekend language schools of your heritage (Chinese, Korean, etc.)

[Anonymous]

3rd grader DD has been going to Saturday school since kindergarten. She has been hating it more and more over the years, and it has gotten to the point where she cries almost everyday during homework. Would you continue pushing through?
Her language level is decent and I speak in our language to her at home, but DH doesn't speak the language and we don't belong to an expat/immigrant community so she doesn't have friends who speak the language or share the culture. Therefore I can see why it's hard for her to understand why she needs to learn this, but I've heard from so many people that as the kids grow older and get more interested in their heritage knowing the language becomes a huge asset.
If she is struggling and suffering this much it's clearly not working so part of me thinks that we've done enough and it's time to let go, but I also don't want to send her a message that it's ok to give up something just because you don't like it.
I heard that times like this inevitably comes to every kid. How do other parents handle it? Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Is she really learning anything from language school? If you are only going once a week, she's learning worksheet type stuff like practicing writing characters, reading boring stories, and doing culture dances. She doesn't like it and and she doesn't have close friends. She has already "tuned out". In my opinion, she's already got the basics on tones and pronunciation, and she probably already can speak it without translating in her head. The biggest hurdle has been crossed. As long as you speak to her at home she will retain it. She can easily become fluent in it later.

I went to language class and hated it, parents took me out. I learned nothing. They spoke a different dialect at home. I can speak that much better.

An alternative is to hire a private tutor or private tutor with a smaller group of children of the same age. My son does this now and it is more fun for him as it's more like a playgroup setting and there is no homework.

[Anonymous]

She's crying every week over it? I would stop. She's learned a lot of the basics, and if you wanted to keep up a little you could probably find TV shows or kid's books in the language, plus speaking it with her at home. If she wants to pick up the language when she's older, she can, but right now she's miserable for minimal payoff.

[Anonymous]

How long is she in the class for? I looked into a Korean class for my kids, and it was a half day commitment on a Saturday for the whole school year. I even balked at that.

[Anonymous]

I think it depends on the language.

DS, in 4th, has also been going to language school since K. While he doesn't complain or cry, he has said he is not happy he has had to give up other activities for it. However, he knows going is not a choice and we will continue to have him go there until middle school.

Like your DD, he doesn't have friends or access to a larger community of people who share the same heritage/language.

Of the two languages you mentioned I think it's interesting you picked one language with a very large community in our area and one that is less large.

If the language you are talking about is Chinese there is a huge Chinese community in the area and there are activities full of Chinese kids. If your child hates the school so much there are many alternate activities where your child could find Chinese friends.

It's not the same for children of Korean heritage (unless you are in some parts of Nova) and our situation is kinds of similar to that (think something like Dutch, Indonesian, Greek). The weekend school is literally the only option.

[Anonymous]

Imo it depends on how easy it will be for her to pick the language back up as an adult if she so desires. We have DD in Korean school so she can learn to read and write and practice speaking with others who aren't her immediate family. But the Korean alphabet takes about 5 minutes to learn, so if she starts hating it and doesn't want to go anymore, NBD, she can easily teach herself as an adult. Formality levels and such are a bit more complicated, but again it's not THAT difficult to pick up as an adult if you already have a lot of exposure to the language from a young age (which DD does).

If she never had any other exposure to Korean except occasionally hearing it from one parent, we would probably either force her to keep going or arrange for exposure in a different way (annual visits back to see family in Seoul or something, IDK.) Trying to learn Korean as an adult from scratch is the f***ing worst and she'd eventually appreciate us saving her from that fate.

[Anonymous]

My 3rd grade DD goes to weekend Chinese school. While she didn't hate her regular Chinese class, she used to yawn every time she had to do Chinese homework regardless time of the day. After trying different methods of incentive, I gave up. I switched her to a bilingual class where the class is much smaller and they speak English and Chinese. A year later, she's much happier. Granted, she's learning at a slower pace (and not much writing), but as long as she's getting the basics and remains interested, I'm ok with that.

So sometimes, you just have to lower your expectations and find a class/teacher that is a better fit for your kid.

[Anonymous]

4th grade DS in same situation as immediate PP but for a different language. Also planning to switch him this year to a bilingual class with less homework.

[Anonymous]

I sincerely doubt she's getting much out of one language class a week. It's more valuable that you're conversing at home.

I wonder why she hates it so much? Have you asked her? Does she have no friends in the school? Are the teachers mean? Is it boring? If she had friends and could converse with friends in the language, that would be nice. But if she hates it, I doubt she'll get anything out of it.

Signed,
A kid who went to weekend language school and got nothing out of it.

[Anonymous]

It's not always about learning the language. It's about understanding our own heritage. An adult who as a kid went to weekend language school and didn't learn the language but made me very proud of my heritage!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it depends on the language.

DS, in 4th, has also been going to language school since K. While he doesn't complain or cry, he has said he is not happy he has had to give up other activities for it. However, he knows going is not a choice and we will continue to have him go there until middle school.

Like your DD, he doesn't have friends or access to a larger community of people who share the same heritage/language.

Of the two languages you mentioned I think it's interesting you picked one language with a very large community in our area and one that is less large.

If the language you are talking about is Chinese there is a huge Chinese community in the area and there are activities full of Chinese kids. If your child hates the school so much there are many alternate activities where your child could find Chinese friends.

It's not the same for children of Korean heritage (unless you are in some parts of Nova) and our situation is kinds of similar to that (think something like Dutch, Indonesian, Greek). The weekend school is literally the only option.

Are you kidding? Pretty sure that the Korean population in DC, MD, and VA are almost as big as the Chinese population. Nothing like the Dutch, Indonesia, Greek.

[Anonymous]

OP said: "I've heard from so many people that as the kids grow older and get more interested in their heritage knowing the language becomes a huge asset."

IMO, the issue we have seen is that not knowing anything about their heritage becomes a liability. There are so many kids, especially Asian kids, who go to college and have an identity crisis and want to become more Chinese, Japanese, etc. because they never identified with those cultures growing up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it depends on the language.

DS, in 4th, has also been going to language school since K. While he doesn't complain or cry, he has said he is not happy he has had to give up other activities for it. However, he knows going is not a choice and we will continue to have him go there until middle school.

Like your DD, he doesn't have friends or access to a larger community of people who share the same heritage/language.

Of the two languages you mentioned I think it's interesting you picked one language with a very large community in our area and one that is less large.

If the language you are talking about is Chinese there is a huge Chinese community in the area and there are activities full of Chinese kids. If your child hates the school so much there are many alternate activities where your child could find Chinese friends.

It's not the same for children of Korean heritage (unless you are in some parts of Nova) and our situation is kinds of similar to that (think something like Dutch, Indonesian, Greek). The weekend school is literally the only option.

Are you kidding? Pretty sure that the Korean population in DC, MD, and VA are almost as big as the Chinese population. Nothing like the Dutch, Indonesia, Greek.

The Korean population is NOWHERE near as large as the Chinese population but probably not as small as the Dutch and Indonesian. Don't know about Greek. There are a lot of Greek communities close to where we live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not always about learning the language. It's about understanding our own heritage. An adult who as a kid went to weekend language school and didn't learn the language but made me very proud of my heritage!

In my case I did not learn any more about my heritage from weekend school that my family didn't teach me. I take it you enjoyed weekend school, and that's great. I found it boring but I didn't hate it. OP's kid hates it. Who knows what dynamic is going on at this school that makes it so terrible for OP's child, but I certainly wouldn't force it in that case.

[Anonymous]

I guess I have different expectations than some of the other posters. My kid is not going to gain language proficiency, let alone fluency, by going to Korean school for 3 hours a week 9 months of the year, when the only Korean he gets during the rest of the week is a few basic phrases ("Wash your hands," "Brush your teeth," "I love you," etc.). We send him because we live in an area without many Koreans, and he's one of the few Asian kids in his entire school. Being the only (or one of few) ___ of any kind takes a toll on the psyche, and I think the detrimental effect of always feeling different from everyone else often isn't noticeable until many years later. Honestly, I just want my son to grow up experiencing on a somewhat regular basis what it's like not to different from everyone else, even for just a few hours a week.

That said, it helps that they seem to somehow make it fun, and he's made friends that he looks forward to seeing once a week. And if I get a Mother's Day card written in Korean out of it, then that's just icing on the top!