13 month old tantrums--at daycare pickup and other times

[Anonymous]

My 13-month old son seems to have jumped from being a cute, happy baby to a cranky crying angry creature. When I pick him up from daycare, he used to get so happy and excited to see me. Now he smiles and goes on playing. When I pick him up to leave, he struggles to get out of my arms and keep playing. Just the past few days, he started violently throwing his head back when he is not getting what he wants. He banged it into a piece of furniture and into my face (ow!). He clamors to be held, and when I hold him, he struggles to be free. Then I put him down, and he wants to be held again.

One recent change in his life is that he started walking a couple of weeks ago and is more adventuresome than coordinated. He's always been really active...in a room of babies his age, he is often the only one to try to crawl out of the room or try to get into dangerous things like outlets, etc. Another big change, but that was a few months ago, was that I went from part-time to full-time at work. New boss...super stressful for me. I don't think I let the stress affect me at home, but I know children are sensitive to parental stress. DS seemed fine about the change. If anything he now seems to enjoy daycare more than home, even though we have had a very close and playful relationship. But today when I brought him home he was fussy and cried off and on--very unusual...he hardly cries these days at all. Daycare, by all indications, is a loving and safe place and I am pleased with the care he is getting.

I know I'm not the first parent to go thru this...and I have to admit it's wearing out my patience.

I would welcome any suggestions from those who have been there before. What in the world is going on? How can I better manage the transition from daycare to going home with me?

[Anonymous]

I don't have much advice except that the same thing happened to me last week with my 14-month old. Last week, I went to pick him up and he was crying hysterically because the lead teacher had left his classroom, then when I thought he would be excited to see me since she was leaving he proceeded to throw an even worse temper tantrum. This week he is back to being thrilled to see me at pick-up. I am attributing it to "yet another phase". Try not to read too much into it and if you think it has anything to do with your full-time work, spend slightly more 1:1 time on the floor with him in the evenings. It's quality over quantity anyway!! That always makes me feel better. If you read too much into it you may become overly tense and anxious and perpetuate the situation.

Hope it passes soon!!

[Anonymous]

I was going to post about this same thing! My 11 1/2 month old just started walking last week, he is also doing the whole pick up then wants to get down, only to cry and want to be held. ALso doing the whole throwing the head back tantrum when he doesn't get something he wants, or we tell him to stop doing something. I thought maybe it was late seperation anxiety/teething, but I have no idea, hopefully it will pass soon. He crys off and on all day long, it is very unlike him. He is not sick, does not have a fever so it can't be anything major I don't think.

[Anonymous]

Yup..Ditto. My 13 month old pretty much does the same thing. Some days he CRIES when I pick him up from the nanny share, some days he's excited to see me. He's been a super mommy monster (as I like to call it when he wants mommy all the time), but at the same time wants to get down and run free. He throws dramatic temper tantrums and gets frustrated.

He started walking about a month ago. I really think this is just a phase. I've seen my friends kids (mostly the strong willed ones) go through the same thing and then grow out of it.