Somebody PLEASE tell me I will get through this! (Sorry but I need to bitch a little)

[Anonymous]

I am 30 weeks and have hit a brick wall. I am beyond exhausted. My laundry is over flowing, my room is a disaster, my kitchen is a mess and my poor DD#1's room is a mess as well. I can't get the motivation to clean. I am lucky I am even showering. How am I supposed to work and get the house ready for baby?!?!? DH is encouraging me to rest after work and on the weekends because I need it since I had a pre-term labor scare this weekend and have to rest per the doctors orders but I feel like my world is falling apart. Will I get through this before baby comes? I have so much to do. I want to cry. No the last little ounce if energy I had left in me is being sucked by my allergies. FML.

[Anonymous]

It's good to share and get it out. Yes, you will get through this. But some things have to change for you to stay healthy and sane.

1 - go to bed. Preterm labor is not an option. No amount of work or chores is worth it. And sleep is the best medicine.
2 - show your post to you husband
3 - ask him to work with you to make a list of what needs to be done and name who is going to do it (I'm sure he will step up when given a straight-forward list)
4 - if you can't afford to pay someone to clean your house, call your best friends and ask for some specific help

An OB in DC told me once that in many times women are given bed rest orders simply because they need to be forced to slow down.

[Anonymous]

PP had many good ideas - you definitely need to take it easy and delegate some of these responsibilities, either to your husband, a housecleaner (if you can afford one), family members, or friends. You also need to let some of it go - your house isn't going to be in perfect shape all the time when you're too tired to do it and especially after the new baby comes.

Last summer I was about 34 weeks pregnant when I started unpacking over 100 boxes by myself after we moved back to the area. It was totally exhausting and in the end, I was having severe muscle spasms in my groin from doing too much physical labor.

I was afraid that if I didn't do it, it wouldn't get done - which was actually true LOL - but I still needed to listen to my body better than I did.

Definitely try to take it easy - take a deep breath and figure out a place to start that will make you feel better about everything. Make a list and get some help - it's important to be able to ask for help!

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Is it bad that I'm already feeling the exact same way at 8 weeks?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it bad that I'm already feeling the exact same way at 8 weeks?

That's completely understandable because of the intense exhaustion of first trimester. A second wind comes in the 2nd trimester so you should expect to feel stronger then. But do take it as a wake up call to get organized, figure out what matters and what doesn't and let it go!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it bad that I'm already feeling the exact same way at 8 weeks?

Totally normal, for me first trimester was the WORST. Not everyone gets the end of pregnancy exhaustion. I don't have it at all, I actually feel like a million bucks, but felt like I had terminal cancer the first trimester.

[Anonymous]

Find some help. If there is any way that you can afford it, get someone that helps you a few hours a week now and that you can use a few hours a day when the baby is there.

It will relieve you and give you some time alone with BB1 when BB2 arrives.... priceless.

Also do you have a cleaning lady.....?

There is no shame in taking all the help that you can afford.

[Anonymous]

I sympathize. I have no energy, and I'm only 22 weeks, and I'm miserable thinking: am I going to feel like this for the whole rest of the pregnancy? If I'm exhausted and grumpy NOW, how bad will it be when the baby is born?! I have barely any patience for DC#1, the house is a disaster, I just want to lie on the couch all day.

I had a miscarriage scare last month and was told to relax for several days -- for me, once I got in the mindset that I HAD TO LIE STILL, and I HAD to have DH do everything (which he did), I stopped feeling guilty about the house looking dirty or the chores not getting done or whatever. Preterm labor is not something you want to mess with. Drink lots of water and chill out, and remind yourself that it's medically necessary to do so.

The baby will come no matter how clean or messy your house is -- life will go on and in a few months the state of the house today won't even be a memory. So just try to give yourself permission to let it go and relax. Hang in there!

[Anonymous]

Also, take advantage of friends' offers to help and/or ASK! I would totally come over and bring a friend a muffin and clean/tidy her house if she were in your position, or do a couple errands, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, take advantage of friends' offers to help and/or ASK! I would totally come over and bring a friend a muffin and clean/tidy her house if she were in your position, or do a couple errands, etc.

Wanna be my friend? LOL!

[Anonymous]

A few things I did when I was 34 weeks with DC 2 and completely exhausted:

- sent laundry to a laundromat and had them do it and fold it ($60 for three GIANT trash bags full - inc. sheets and towels)
- sent ironing to the cleaners for pressing ($1 per item - not bad)
- had my DH make a large batch of hearty soup and ate that and bagged salad and rolls all week. Next week I had him make a roast and we did the same with frozen veggies and roasted potatoes. We basically ate the same thing all week.
- gave my DH a chore list that had all the tasks that needed to get done. They were major things like picking up clothes and putting them in the laundry basket, vacuuming, garbage, dishes, etc.
- had my two best girlfriends come over and do the "womanly" touches - my DH doesn't really see dirt or how things look nice a lot of the time. They dusted, organized shelves, and arranged things nicely and wiped down windows and surfaces. I bought them pizza and wine and played fun tunes. We all watched a movie afterward. They were totally loving about it.

That is how I got through my last 6 weeks. A lot of eating the same thing, a lot of letting laundry build up and then sending giant bags of it to the laundromat, and a lot of take out.

[Anonymous]

We cut out eating out and hired a cleaning lady at exactly that same time. I couldn't do it anymore. It made a world of difference, if you can find a way to fit it into the budget.