how much depression is normal - age 70

[Anonymous]

My mother is 70. Has some ongoing problems from a back injury and a slew of other fairly normal health problems, but nothing major and nothing fatal. Her mother lived to be 92, my grandmother lived to be 94. All my mom can talk about is illness, doctors, and death. She literally took about 50 minutes of our 60-minute conversation to discuss her health and dying. She told me during my last visit (when she was in bed for at least 12 hours a day, sometimes 16 hours a day) that she is probably dying and that's why she's so tired. She and my dad live in the house I was raised in (they like it) and have plenty of money. My dad is doing well -- plays tennis three days a week and is happy. I understand that aging is difficult and that chronic small health problems that interfere with her life are difficult to manage, but this level of depression and focus on death seems ridiculous. I have begged her to get an anti-depressant and she told me I just don't understand - that this is what people her age are thinking about - death and sickness. i assume this is totally abnormal and she is just desperately depressed, right?

[Anonymous]

Can't really tell from a post but my gut feeling is she is not depressed. If she was she would be doing more internalizing, not verbalizing to you each time. I think it's a good sign she talks about it even though it gets old to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can't really tell from a post but my gut feeling is she is not depressed. If she was she would be doing more internalizing, not verbalizing to you each time. I think it's a good sign she talks about it even though it gets old to you.

I expect it is not depression for the reasons above. Not that she doesn't have issues. She appears preoccupied with death and illness, and the quality of her life, and yours, would probably be improved if she were not.

[Anonymous]

I guess this is what happens when you have no other worries in life. Your mind starts to dwell on things like getting older, health issues and your own mortality. It becomes this big circular mental rut goes round and round, digging deeper every day.

Maybe she needs something else to "worry" about to get herself out of this rut.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess this is what happens when you have no other worries in life. Your mind starts to dwell on things like getting older, health issues and your own mortality. It becomes this big circular mental rut goes round and round, digging deeper every day.

Maybe she needs something else to "worry" about to get herself out of this rut.

Volunteer work in helped some in our family break out of inefficient dwelling on personal matters. There's so much need. So many less well off and with more problems. Being in the middle of that, and making a difference, was a help. Not a cure, but a help.