What kind of relationship do your parents have with your in-laws?

[Anonymous]

I don't know if it's a cultural thing, but my parents seem to go out of their way to maintain a good relationship with my narcisstic MIL, even though they know she's terrible.

What kind of relationship do your parents have with your in-laws? Do they do things together? And do they expect you to coordinate get-togethers/plans with them?

[Anonymous]

I made it a policy to not discuss my ILs with my side of the family, and not discuss my side of the family with my ILs. My parents and ILs have a very polite and formal relationship with each other. Both sides attend all major events together, both sides will wish each other for important occasions. Both sides are supportive of DH and I. We are Indians BTW. We have very good relations with both sides of the family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I made it a policy to not discuss my ILs with my side of the family, and not discuss my side of the family with my ILs. My parents and ILs have a very polite and formal relationship with each other. Both sides attend all major events together, both sides will wish each other for important occasions. Both sides are supportive of DH and I. We are Indians BTW. We have very good relations with both sides of the family.

Do they coordinate those get-togethers? Or only see each other if you or your spouse plan something?

[Anonymous]

None, my MIL is in a nursing home and my mom resents what I do for her. When we got married, my mom wouldn't have much to do with her and looked down on her. She was a wonderful MIL to me and treated me very well.

[Anonymous]

None. They live 1,000 miles apart and have nothing in common.

[Anonymous]

From my first marriage, my parents and my XH's parents loved each other and would go out to dinner maybe twice a month or so. My mom and his mom talked on the phone weekly. We have been divorced three years now and I am pretty sure they still talk once in awhile.

I'm getting remarried next year and my parents actually have never met my fiancé's parents. It's not because of any specific reason. My parents are in their 70's and very conservative. My fiancé's mom is in her early 50's (I am 10 years older than him) and kinda wild, like still living in the 80's as far as dress and music taste, etc. I'm sure they will get along, my parents are never nasty or condescending no matter what walk of life someone comes from. They just have zero in common, whereas with my first marriage, they were all very similar in age and world views and stuff.

[Anonymous]

My inlaws have nothing to do with my borderline mother

I wish I had nothing to do with her

[Anonymous]

Friendly, loving, kind. They exchange cards when something happens and always ask as to the other. It's a very pleasant family relationship.

[Anonymous]

Acquaintances

[Anonymous]

My ex-inlaws were friends of my parents since I was a toddler and that's how I met ex. Family vacations, etc.

Now that my ex is my ex, ex-MIL will have nothing to do with my parents. Ex-FIL (who is now divorced from ex-MIL) is still friendly with my folks. His take on my split from his child was that I deserved a medal for putting up with the crap for 20 years.

[Anonymous]

Sadly, very little. We live in town and are close to our daughter and grandkids. They live out of town and we have to disappear entirely when they are visiting. They are clearly jealous of our relationship with their son and his family but that's not going to change things. We've tried to reach out. Nothing.

[Anonymous]

None, they see each other at christenings and that's it. They are friendly but not friends. They live far apart so you can't expect much more than that and I'm fine with it.

[Anonymous]

Just a card exchange type of relationship, and only because my Ils are greeting card fanatics. No phone calls, emails, or anything else.

[Anonymous]

Exchange holiday cards once a year. When traveling in each other's area of the country, they stopped - once - to have a meal together and see the city/town where each lived. I would not expect anymore. You should not wish for any more - - closer relationships have ups and downs and affect relationships with others. That wouldn't be fair to the young couple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Exchange holiday cards once a year. When traveling in each other's area of the country, they stopped - once - to have a meal together and see the city/town where each lived. I would not expect anymore. You should not wish for any more - - closer relationships have ups and downs and affect relationships with others. That wouldn't be fair to the young couple.

I don't expect more at all. My parents either seem to be interested in having a relationship with her or looking like they have a relationship with her to keep up appearances. Either way, it causes issues each time they visit (they live out of town, MIL lives in the same area as DH and me). I've told them they should communicate with her if they want to see her, but don't involve me. But inevitably, they'll rope in my DH to coordinate some sort of get together with her, which causes issues between me and DH.