Birthday was yesterday and family did nothing :-(

[Anonymous]

I am sad, my birthday was yesterday and my husband and kids didn't make any effort. I know they love me but there was no planning. Husband got off of work early due to the three day weekend so even if he waited until the last minute, he could have arranged something. Just sad. I really make an effort planning things for our children and my husband for their birthdays and holidays. Just feeling a little sad over it and needed to vent on an anonymous board. Thanks! FWIW we have been together 24 years and have 4 kids grade school through high school.

[Anonymous]

I'd let them know that I was hurt and that if they prefer not to celebrate birthdays, I'll join them. But it's on your husband much more than your kids. They are obviously learning from his example.

[Anonymous]

OP, if you've been together 24 years, you know that your husband is not someone who plans for your birthday. Stop being a victim and take charge of your life. Let go of the expectation that your family will do something. You make plans to do what you want. Go away with friends. Get a massage. Buy yourself a fabulous piece of jewelry.

Knowing what people are capable of doing and then being disappointed when they don't come through is a waste of time. That's on you.

Sorry to sound harsh, but after 24 years, you need a wake up call.

[Anonymous]

OP, tell us about previous years. Did they ever act differently?

[Anonymous]

Sorry, OP. DCUM will give you hell. They did the time I posted I was sad my mom, dad, and DH all forgot my birthday. Be ready to be called a narcissist.

But really, when that happens to me (all to often), I buy myself something nice.

[Anonymous]

I know its selfish but I've always found it a pita that my mother wanted her birthday celebrated AND mother's day. Same with dad. Doesn't change the fact that I do it, but if I can barely remember my own birthday I'm not going to remember yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, OP. DCUM will give you hell. They did the time I posted I was sad my mom, dad, and DH all forgot my birthday. Be ready to be called a narcissist.

But really, when that happens to me (all to often), I buy myself something nice.

Which, as an adult, is what you should do. Did they not even wish you a happy birthday? Because that's really inconsiderate

[Anonymous]

Happy birthday!

[Anonymous]

Possible Grass is greener scenario for you: I don't care about getting stuff or going out to dinner as much as at least a Happy Birthday from DH. He doesn't like anyone to know his birthday, fine, but as a family - me and the kids, he enjoys getting their gifts and the cake we make. I also get him a little something.

But here's the kicker for me, he expects the kids still under to remember my birthday and do something for me. It's been this way since they were toddlers. So, I either need to remind my kids myself when it's almost my birthday (no way), or accept that my kids will not grow acknowledging my bday. Neither is satisfying.

Here's hoping that the kids and DH call or say Happy Birthday this weekend.

[Anonymous]

It is sad all of them did nothing.

Anonymous wrote:I'd let them know that I was hurt and that if they prefer not to celebrate birthdays, I'll join them. But it's on your husband much more than your kids. They are obviously learning from his example.

This is what I would say and I'd follow through and do it.

[Anonymous]

Happy Birthday! I would have gone out today and done something fun myself and gone out to a nice meal with a great desert. Leave them at home to fend for themselves. Then, I'd go on strike and refuse to do any of their grocery shopping, laundry or drive them anywhere till they have a mom appreciation day!

[Anonymous]

Did they wish you or had they clean forgotten?

We're not big partiers, so don't do much for birthdays, but we do remember them!

[Anonymous]

So, we usually do pizza movie/game night on Fridays. A few minutes before I got home from work, my husband ran out and got some frozen pizza, a small cake and a card and made it home at the same time as I did. So my birthday wasn't completely forgotten but it was not a special Friday at all. I don't expect presents or a fancy dinner etc, just something thoughtful. Typically, there are a couple handmade cards and a treat with a candle. This is what I have come to expect in years past. That is all. I wanted to vent and I got to vent. Now back to enjoying the rest of the weekend.

[Anonymous]

Happy Birthday, OP! It's not too late to celebrate! Get everyone to go play laser tag or go for sushi or whatever you like to do. In our house a birthday lasts seven days, so you still have a window of opportunity. Talk to your kids, as a PP said. Remind them that part of caring about someone is letting them know you care, and their birthday is an occasion when you should show them that you care.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you got the cake and the card in your follow up post. That sounds like how most people celebrate grown up birthday. I wonder why you misled in your original post, making us think they completely forgot to even congratulate you?