Family members who have expectations about social media
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Anonymous
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I am not a social media person. I have a Facebook account but am on it very minimally as I've found that for various reasons I don't enjoy it-it's just not my thing. I keep my account because I use Messenger occasionally and FB is convenient when throwing a party, there are a few people that I want to keep in contact with that would be difficult to do so without FB, etc but I don't typically post.
The issue is that I have some family members who love FB and are bothered that I'm not on there "liking" their posts, etc. I saw one of them at a family event recently and was making conversation with her about how she was doing, etc. and she made a point of saying that if I was on FB more often I would know what she was up to and wouldn't have to ask. WTF? Is following and responding to posts on social media a familial obligation now? These are full blown adults (late 30's and up)-the relative that made the comment is in her 70's. I told her that I'm not a social media person and that for various reasons I'm not a big FB'er but she seemed put out. |
Anonymous
| That's just obnoxious. Ignore, OP. |
Anonymous
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Yes, my husband has a cousin who we see regularly and she's always on our case about Facebook. We can't manage that level of multi-tasking and distractibility, so knowing our limitations, we just don't do social media at all, and have a small circle of friends. Works for us! You just smile, and say: "...and yet, I manage to live a happy life!". |
Anonymous
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You asked, "WTF? Is following and responding to posts on social media a familial obligation now?"
No, it isn't but people are not required to stay in the dark ages with you. I absolutely detest it when family or friends send me links to pictures via email - some people do months and months of pictures and then want you to sign into an account that I haven't used in ages just to view the pictures. Seriously??? I have better things to do. I NEVER open them. I prefer social media because it gives me a quick snap shot of what people are up to. I have family all over the world - there is no way I could know what they are all doing. What would I do, call all of them? Fly all over the world to visit them in person? Seriously, get over yourself. |
Anonymous
I'm 21:07 - we are international with family on three continents. No social media, no account with photos that you have to log into. We send a couple of photos every year by email, and the children's music with our semi-private YouTube account. All they have to do is open their email, and for the music, click on one link (no password). If they don't want to, they don't have to! We send PAPER Christmas cards. Home-made and everything. Gasp! And get this: none of my family abroad uses social media either! I think you should be the one getting over yourself. |
Anonymous
Whoa. This is the OP. I don't send links of pictures to friends or family (or anyone) via e-mail nor do I expect relatives or friends I'm not close to call me or fly to visit me. I just don't like social media and am not on it. I text or message with people individually, catch up with them in person and talk on the phone with people I'm close to. I guess I am in "the dark ages" in the sense that I don't feel the need to share details of my life, my opinions, etc. with large groups of "friends" and family members who I'm not close to. I don't have any expectations of others-people can do what they want. You're really projecting a lot here. Where in my post did I give the impression that I expected any of those things (sending links to pics via e-mail, etc.)? |
Anonymous
| So she seemed "put out"? You don't have much in common, not in the way you relate to others. |
Anonymous
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My 75 year old aunt is the same way! She badgers my mom about it. And if my Aunt mentions something my cousins (her son's) did, she expects me to already know all about it. She cannot fathom that I scrolled through the photos of my cousin in his spandex running outfit, not bothering to learn his marathon stats. Some people take Facebook way more seriously than they're supposed to. Btw, it's ridiculous that your relative would rather share her life on FB than have polite conversation with you.
I email or text pictures to my parents all the time, so they're not missing out. (I don't send a link, just the pictures). |
Anonymous
| This is why all the cool kids instagram instead of fb. Crazy old auntie hasn't figured out how to ruin that one yet. |
Anonymous
This.....just stupid. |
Anonymous
Imagine, to maintain more than a superficial relationship you might actually have to call and speak with someone. The horror. Who has time for that sort of useless crap. Way too busy. |
Anonymous
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You are so right it hurts.
You should give them a "thumbs up" in real life (IRL) every time they make a statement, and then say, "I thought you wanted me to like things you say," to see if she likes. Can you "unfriend" these people, IRL? |
Anonymous
| Olds love facebook |
Anonymous
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I think that there is a huge portion of retired people in their 60s and 70s who have found Facebook and use it as a way to reconnect with their youth and people from it. My mother is 100% one of these people. She is constantly posting (comments on "articles", inspirational quotes, etc...) and she has made it very clear that she connotes likes with friendship. People who like her posts a lot are "good friends" and people who do not like or have stopped liking her posts offend her.
It's a combination of not understanding how Facebook works (in people's lives and the way the algorithm shows you some things and not other things) plus a person's desire to reconnect that makes this happen, I think. It's nice that it's there, but sad when it manifests in a way that is not really in tune with reality. |