Would you be annoyed by this comment?

[Anonymous]

I am mom to an 11 month old DD , and I work part time, 20 hours. Today as I was leaving work a co worker said to me, "Man I wish I had your schedule. What do you do when you go home, sleep?" I was fairly speechless, as she has met my very active DD multiple times, and is younger than me, but old enough to understand that taking care of a child is a lot of work. I said that "no, I take care of my daughter, clean the house, do laundry, cook dinner, etc" . She sort of snorted and said," yeah, but that's still pretty nice. " NICE???? Do any of you other moms find cleaning messy houses, poopy diapers etc a "nice" time? I was just astounded that someone could be so completely clueless .

Needed to vent, Thanks!!

[Anonymous]

It is NICE...you should feel lucky. Your are probabbly just having an off day, I get that way during pms.

You have the best of the two world...PT and get to spend time w/ your lovely DD.

I wish I have that option!

[Anonymous]

this is the exact attitude that makes a part time schedule so difficult. I presume you also have a part-time paycheck as well as a part time schedule too.

This person is a moron. When they say stuff like that again, you have to call them on it, while still being polite. Say something like, "thank you." It really throws people off when they've just said something rude and unsolicited and you "thank" them for their advice or comments.

Ignore this idiot.

Also, whenever someone points out that you have "cush" schedule, you can point out that you have a part-time SALARY too. Anyone can usually ask for that, but most people don't think of the paycut associated with the shortened hours.

[Anonymous]

This is the kind of comment that you just have to ignore and move on.

[Anonymous]

People who don't have children really have no conception of what it's like to take care of children. Yes, it's annoying, and I would be annoyed, but it's simply reality that this person is just not going to appreciate your life and what it's like until she's living it herself. Even up until the time my child was born, I pictured my maternity leave as my newborn sleeping blissfully in her bassinet, and me rambling around the house doing my scrapbooking, passing the time on ebay, and sending out thank you notes for the gifts I received for her. I just did not and could not conceive of the reality of life with a young child.

So yes, I would be annoyed, but I would not hold on to the annoyance very long...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your are probabbly just having an off day, I get that way during pms.

This is a little patronizing, PP.

I agree with the immediately preceding PP. The best response is, "it's fabulous, thanks" as genuinely as you can muster. That way they don't know they've succeded in insulting you. The implication that you're not pulling your weight at work is obnoxious, given that you're paid half as much!

[Anonymous]

I think it's clear that post #2 is trying to provoke a flame and should be taken as such.

[Anonymous]

I've experienced this from my single, childless boss many times. He has NO idea what it means to have kids. I've had co-workers who are resentful because I don't work late also. They don't quite get that you also get paid a lot less when you're part-time. I've been PT for 7 years now and I've come to terms with the fact that I'm not on the fast track w/my career right now. I don't want to be the "go to" person who has to stay late at the last moment when something comes up - I can't be right now with two young kids.

I respond to statements like the one you mentioned with something like "you could work part-time, too. But, you'll have to get used to a part-time paycheck like I do."

The hardest part is setting your own expectations and your boss'. I produced full-time work at part-time pay for the first year I was part-time. I felt guilty because I was part-time so I worked at night and on the weekends after my baby was asleep. Guess what, it didn't matter when bonuses came around. Mine was still pro-rated. Also, no matter how much overtime I put in, I was given fewer 'high-visibility' work assignments. Honestly, it was hard to accept at first. But, in retrospect, I'm glad to have the quality of life I have right now. I know soon enough I'll be able to move to full time and get back on track if I want to then.

Don't let the others get to you! It is "Nice" to be able to work part-time. It's also a sacrifice monetarily and career-wise which others may not really think about when you're heading out the door.

[Anonymous]

ha!! Going to work is a break! I love these idiots (and I was one of them before kids -- my golden age as I like to call it) thinking you can sleep with a toddler around. It's heaven to work compared to the chaos at my house. But I think a part-time schedule is tough. You never get the respect from your co-workers and my boss at least expected me to produce what those lazy ass full-timers were.

OP -- I don't think you're PMSing. I just think your colleague is blissfully ignorant. I miss the days of Jeopardy and TV in front of the tube after a hard day. Now, it's laundry, bath, books, homework -- the second job!

Hope you are around when that coworker has children.

[Anonymous]

I work part-time and get the same comments.

Ignore it. They don't mean to be obnoxious. To the sleep comment I just say "No, I don't sleep when I go home". And then if they say "Oh, it must be nice" I say "Yes, it is".

Personally, I hate the phrase "It must be nice". It's a jealous and rude thing to say to people but I learned a long time ago that you have to just remember that you are on the GOOD side of that comment. It could "be nice" for them. Sometimes people just say stupid things.

So, yes, I would be irrirtated.

[Anonymous]

I also work part time, and while I don't catch attitude from co-workers, I do occasionally hear those kinds of remarks from childless friends/acquaintances. It is wonderful to have the option of working part time, and it totally works for our family. Except - as others have noted, I take home a shrimpy paycheck that barely covers child care, I do not get the same ownership of projects, I am not always in the loop. AND when I get home, I hit the ground running caring for my three kids and husband - homework, dinner, laundry, housework, etc. When I was a full time SAHM, I had one challenging job - now I have a part time paid job on top of that!
People without children simply cannot fully understand that caring for kids and a household is hard hard work. And never ending. I'm guessing they aren't doing laundry at 1 am, or making lunches at midnight, or whatever. Going home to sleep indeed!
Anyway - I think I am venting, sorry. I used to get all hot and bothered about comments like that, now I just ignore them or give some generic polite answer about how lucky I am. And I take comfort in the knowledge that all my mom friends, whether SAHM or part time paid work, or full time, GET IT.

[Anonymous]

What a snarky, bitchy loser. Why can't people mind their own business?

Take it for what its worth--nothing. Who knows what her problem is. Maybe she's jealous; maybe she just enjoys being rude; maybe she has no social skills. Do you ask her what she does during non-work hours?

Sorry to be so visceral--lately people making unsolicited comments about things that have nothing to do with them has been driving me NUTS.

I like poster who said to smile and say "thanks." I also enjoy just staring at people blanky and blinking. Sometimes, I say, "what?" or "I'm not sure what you mean" and I force them to try to explain themselves. If and when they do, they look like giant a**holes. I then sort of half-laugh and say, "that's funny!" And walk away.

I know--I have issues.

OP--don't let it get to you. You know how hard you work.

[Anonymous]

Working part-time is the most difficult. When you are at work you think about all that needs to be done at home. When you are at home you think about work. Plus, because you have a shorter time at work, I bet you have to do a bit more of DH's jobs too. Do you pick up his dry cleaning? I sure do. I hear you loud and clear OP, let's raise our glasses and toast to ourselves!!

[Anonymous]

I would consider telling the person (if this type of comment comes up again) - say something like "yea- my second job- though being a mom never ends!" and if you can get your point across say something like "well, you'll understand if you have kids- must be NICE to not to stop working once you leave "fill in with company name" each day"..

[Anonymous]

PP here- I meant must be nice to Stop working once you leave xyz firm..