Housewife vs SAHM

[Anonymous]

Why do we call housewives stay-at-home-moms?

[Anonymous]

Because the main work they're doing is raising kids, not prepping the 6pm martini for when their husband gets home? If a woman stays home and has no kids, I think that's a housewife. But housewife sounds dismissive of the work that goes into a SAHM's day -- she's not just doing the ironing thinking of how to please her husband.

-WOH

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because the main work they're doing is raising kids, not prepping the 6pm martini for when their husband gets home? If a woman stays home and has no kids, I think that's a housewife. But housewife sounds dismissive of the work that goes into a SAHM's day -- she's not just doing the ironing thinking of how to please her husband.

-WOH

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because the main work they're doing is raising kids, not prepping the 6pm martini for when their husband gets home? If a woman stays home and has no kids, I think that's a housewife. But housewife sounds dismissive of the work that goes into a SAHM's day -- she's not just doing the ironing thinking of how to please her husband.

-WOH

+1

Exactly. But I think we should all stop responding to this thread bc there is seriously zero point to it, OP clearly woke up on the b*tchy side of the bed and wanted an outlet. Go for a run or something, OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because the main work they're doing is raising kids, not prepping the 6pm martini for when their husband gets home? If a woman stays home and has no kids, I think that's a housewife. But housewife sounds dismissive of the work that goes into a SAHM's day -- she's not just doing the ironing thinking of how to please her husband.

-WOH

I don't agree with the assessment of "housewife" in such subservient and misogynistic terms, PP. My mother was a typical, suburban 1960's housewife and not the least bit interested in pleasing her husband as her goal! She cleaned and cooked and raised five kids - with no outside help - and also had time for coffee with her neighbors every afternoon. My Dad would come home and she would still be in the same shorts or pants she was in all day. And then he took over most of the kid duties happily. My mother reminds me of how my daughter runs her home and raises her children as a SAHM (although she prefers stay-at-home-PARENT)

A lot of women were stay-at-home-moms when people were still calling them housewives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because the main work they're doing is raising kids, not prepping the 6pm martini for when their husband gets home? If a woman stays home and has no kids, I think that's a housewife. But housewife sounds dismissive of the work that goes into a SAHM's day -- she's not just doing the ironing thinking of how to please her husband.

-WOH

I don't agree with the assessment of "housewife" in such subservient and misogynistic terms, PP. My mother was a typical, suburban 1960's housewife and not the least bit interested in pleasing her husband as her goal! She cleaned and cooked and raised five kids - with no outside help - and also had time for coffee with her neighbors every afternoon. My Dad would come home and she would still be in the same shorts or pants she was in all day. And then he took over most of the kid duties happily. My mother reminds me of how my daughter runs her home and raises her children as a SAHM (although she prefers stay-at-home-PARENT)

A lot of women were stay-at-home-moms when people were still calling them housewives.

I'm the person you're quoting and I agree it wasn't thought of as dismissive in the 1960's -- it was thought of as normal. But as time goes on things change, and if you call a woman who stays home with kids a housewife today I think you are erasing the actual work she does during the day. I think the original responses to this thread that all had to be deleted pretty emphatically proved this point.

[Anonymous]

One and the same.

[Anonymous]

If I was a housewife then I would actually be at home a good part of the day and my house would be clean. Instead I am out doing stuff with the kids, like you know, museums, pool, children's theatre, storytime at the library. We are on the go all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One and the same.

I agree, but at the same time, I'm a SAHM of school-aged children. It's summer so I am totally feeling the SAHM vibe - because it is all day, every day - but during the school year, I'm a housewife. Full stop.

Once the kids are on that bus at 8:45, it's me until I get them at 4pm. I'm doing stuff for the HOUSE, or stuff for me (the WIFE). There really is no "mom" in the equation for about 7 hours, unless of course someone is sick or school is out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One and the same.

I agree, but at the same time, I'm a SAHM of school-aged children. It's summer so I am totally feeling the SAHM vibe - because it is all day, every day - but during the school year, I'm a housewife. Full stop.

Once the kids are on that bus at 8:45, it's me until I get them at 4pm. I'm doing stuff for the HOUSE, or stuff for me (the WIFE). There really is no "mom" in the equation for about 7 hours, unless of course someone is sick or school is out.

Agreed SAHM of school age kids is a housewife.

[Anonymous]

SAHM. Houswide is demeaning

[Anonymous]

When I was at home, I was totally fine with the term "housewife". I didn't find it demeaning at all.

[Anonymous]

Let's see:

My grandmother was a housewife in her second marriage, but had no kids at home. This is also true for a Persian friend of mine who says her job is to keep a gorgeous home.

A good friend is a SAHM, but not a wife. She's never been married.

So, you can be one without the other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was at home, I was totally fine with the term "housewife". I didn't find it demeaning at all.

I am currently at home and I do find it demeaning. I'm not a wife who keeps the house. I'm a mom who is at home with my kids, quite literally, every waking hour. Frankly, I wish I had time to do more housewif-ing

[Anonymous]

I use "retired" when buying cars and doing taxes.

-SAHM