Feeling slighted
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Anonymous
| I know in the end, this doesn't really matter, but can't help feeling slighted that inlaws are paying significant money for my bil's wedding but they watched me struggling to gather up money to pay for my small 5k wedding. A little history: both DH and I are from the same country. His parents are wealthy and together. Mine are divorced and poor. When it was time for me to get married I had a very humble wedding. They payed for nothing. They knew money was an issue. Fast forward, dh's brother is marrying an American girl higher class but not wealthy. Her parents are divorced but aren't as poor as mine. They are helping her pay for her wedding but she wants more extravagant, so now my inlaws are putting about 7-10k in to help. I think it's so they can impress her family. This hurts me. They didn't seem to care about impressing my poor family but are jumping hurdles to impress hers. I try to not compare but it's hard. Any suggestions how to get pass and not hold onto this. I don't want to resent but I'm already starting. |
Anonymous
| Their financial situation may have changed over the years too. |
Anonymous
| At the end of the day, it's just not your money, and it's really not any of your business. |
Anonymous
Maybe but I don't think so. It's only been couple years. |
Anonymous
This is true. I'm just venting. Wedding planning is at the beginning of planning process for next year and I'm just getting my frustrations out. |
Anonymous
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I've never heard of a wedding where the inlaws contribute funds towards their sons wedding. It's typically the brides family
DH and I both paid for our wedding, same with his brother. His parents contributed 10k towards their daughters wedding. |
Anonymous
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I'm sorry, OP. At least they're showing you their true colors early on!
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Anonymous
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OP I completely understand.
We paid for our wedding too and it was very small and very simple (think less than 5k.) A year later, his stepfather paid for someone at the church to get married and funded the reception. Not family just some random person at church that was not able to pay for it. I was a little chapped about that and had to let it go even though we also struggled to conceive and spent close to 100k trying for our child. Not once did they offer to help-only prayed for us. We ate peanut butter and jellly sandwiches and never spent a dime that wasn't for fertility treatment. Also went into cc debt. They are millionaires. Whatever-but it does still bother me when I think about it. |
Anonymous
Really? It is totally normal for the son's parents to contribute something. That sucks OP. Who knows why they did what they did. I would try not to let it bother you. |
Anonymous
This is correct. I didn't get upset when they didn't help me for my wedding because of the rule but now it seems like they have to impress her family by giving a big check towards the wedding. I'll get over it before the Spring wedding next year. Just need to get it out |
Anonymous
I'm sorry this happen to you too. I hope I can get over it one day and you too |
Anonymous
Not your wedding. Not your money. So this has literally nothing to do with you, and you are not actually entitled to thoughts or feelings about it. |
Anonymous
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so why doesn't your husband just ask them outright what the deal is? That's the only way you're going to get answers. Speculating what they're thinking helps no one.
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Anonymous
| I do not all get the mindset that if you want something, someone else should pay for it. Want a big ol' wedding? Get out there and hustle and earn the money. |
Anonymous
| Being bitter and resentful is a choice. Make a different choice. Focus on the gifts of love, health and happiness you have in your life. |