What to do with toddler when I go for my transfer?

[Anonymous]

DH and I really want him to be with us at our upcoming transfer. What do we do with our toddler who is 20 months old and has stranger anxieties? Her school is closed that week and she's very wary of strangers and we don't have any family or close friends nearby. Any suggestions? Is there a class that she can go to?

[Anonymous]

I would suggest you find a few babysitters that you can get her comfortable with now. Assuming the transfer works, you will have regular appointments and thins that you will need a sitter for.

[Anonymous]

Do you have a friend that could take her for an hour? Especially one that has kids around same age?

[Anonymous]

I have a 19 month old and will be going for a transfer soon. She will be staying home with her dad and I will be going solo. Not an ideal situation, but I CANNOT imagine taking her to the transfer. My first transfer was 30 minutes before all was said and done and it's really not going to be fair to the doctor to have him running around (and honestly, the doctor probably would not permit the toddler back in the OR anyway!) Your husband will end up being in the waiting room with him anyway, so I'd just opt to leave them at home.

I realize that this is going to be hard for you but in my mind, the alternative (of bringing a toddler to the transfer) is way worse!

[Anonymous]

Either you find someone to watch her (not sure how a class will be better since you say she's wary of strangers) or your husband stay home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would suggest you find a few babysitters that you can get her comfortable with now. Assuming the transfer works, you will have regular appointments and thins that you will need a sitter for.

+1

[Anonymous]

Leave toddler at home with DH - the transfer is a breeze (like easier than a transvaginal US), but where they do it is sort of like an OR - had to wear special booties and hair net - cant imagine a toddler in that place...

[Anonymous]

Have your husband stay with her!!!! Why do you want her there to tel her you were there when your sibling was made?

[Anonymous]

DH wasn't even allowed in the room anyway.

[Anonymous]

OP here. DH was with my in two previous transfers and it feels very important for me to have him there. The whole process is already so sterile and it would be nice to have him there. No, I don't want to bring my toddler there knowing the SG does not welcome kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. DH was with my in two previous transfers and it feels very important for me to have him there. The whole process is already so sterile and it would be nice to have him there. No, I don't want to bring my toddler there knowing the SG does not welcome kids.

You also don't want to have a toddler in an environment that must be sterile and requires relative quiet so that the doctor can transfer the embryo.

I get the importance of wanting your DH to be there. I would have loved to be in the room for every time my DW had an embryo transfer at Cornell, but they simply wouldn't allow me to (their rules). As others have said, you have two choices - DH stays with your child, or you get a babysitter.

[Anonymous]

I had never left my toddler DD with a sitter before my transfer, although she had gone to daycare. I had a friend recommend someone (a SAHM who it turns out unbeknownst to my friend was also going through fertility treatments with the same doctor), and she watched my toddler for me. Due to a series of unfortunate circumstances I didn't even meet her ahead of time, although I had vetted her, and it all worked out.

All this is to say that, if let with a sitter, the worst case is that your DD may be upset for an hour or two, but that, too, shall pass and will be but a blip in the grand scheme of things. Good luck, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. DH was with my in two previous transfers and it feels very important for me to have him there. The whole process is already so sterile and it would be nice to have him there. No, I don't want to bring my toddler there knowing the SG does not welcome kids.

You also don't want to have a toddler in an environment that must be sterile and requires relative quiet so that the doctor can transfer the embryo.

I get the importance of wanting your DH to be there. I would have loved to be in the room for every time my DW had an embryo transfer at Cornell, but they simply wouldn't allow me to (their rules). As others have said, you have two choices - DH stays with your child, or you get a babysitter.

OP here. So, I am not sure why people are saying I shouldn't bring my toddler to SGF. I did not say anything about bringing her to transfer...! That is not an option. I am looking for some other suggestions. Thanks to the posters who actually offer some helpful ideas.

[Anonymous]

DH should stay home with your DD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. DH was with my in two previous transfers and it feels very important for me to have him there. The whole process is already so sterile and it would be nice to have him there. No, I don't want to bring my toddler there knowing the SG does not welcome kids.

You also don't want to have a toddler in an environment that must be sterile and requires relative quiet so that the doctor can transfer the embryo.

I get the importance of wanting your DH to be there. I would have loved to be in the room for every time my DW had an embryo transfer at Cornell, but they simply wouldn't allow me to (their rules). As others have said, you have two choices - DH stays with your child, or you get a babysitter.

OP here. So, I am not sure why people are saying I shouldn't bring my toddler to SGF. I did not say anything about bringing her to transfer...! That is not an option. I am looking for some other suggestions. Thanks to the posters who actually offer some helpful ideas.

OP - I am a PP who said don't take the kid. I totally misread your original post. When it said "we really want him to be there" I thought you were talking about your kid, but I see now that you have a DD.

My suggestion does still stand though. I will be coming in for my transfer from out of town and will be doing it solo - it sucks, but thems the breaks sometimes. BUT if you really want DH there, why not ask one of the teachers at school to babysit? We have our DD's assistant teacher over all the time for weekend help. She loves it and it's great to get a sitter she is comfortable with. Sorry that the transfer corresponds with school being closed - tough timing!