First Date & Sexual Interest
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Anonymous
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I'm trying online dating and had a first date last night. The conversation was great, we spent four hours in a snug small plates place with no lulls and lots of laughs coupled with openness on all topics. He has everything I'm looking for but I didn't really feel any sexual desire of any sort. I did in the week or so of messages before we met. I couldn't imagine sleeping with him but for no obvious reasons.
Does this mean move on or try another date? He's very interested and wanted to schedule a second date when we said goodbye. I'm new to dating in general so I'm not sure what to expect or how to gauge this. Anyone have any similar experiences to share? |
Anonymous
| I don't know. For me the attraction can grow. I'd give it a couple more dates, then see. |
Anonymous
| bang him - what's the worst that can happen?? |
Anonymous
| I've been online dating for a year. What you described is everyone of my dates. None have gone past the 3rd date and I haven't slept with any of them. I'm not going to just "bang" a guy to try it out. |
Anonymous
| I'd give it another shot or two. You said he's a nice guy so why not? |
Anonymous
Then stop online dating. You ruin it for everyone else. |
Anonymous
Do this guy a favor and tell him how you feel so he can find someone who actually finds him sexually attractive. Once again: Men find reasons to have sex with women while women actively find reasons to not have sex with men. |
Anonymous
Why? How am I ruining it for everyone? |
Anonymous
You're wasting your dates' time and money. |
Anonymous
| That's called "no chemistry". Chemistry can come but the wisdom is that it rarely does. I would try one more date and then move on. |
Anonymous
I didn't realize that getting to know someone before agreeing to be intimate with them was wasting their time. I'm not comfortable with casual sex and I would feel horrible about myself the next day. Your comment reminds me of something a 10th grade boy would say. For me to be intimate with someone there needs to be both a physical and emotional connection. I haven't found that yet. |
Anonymous
Banged on the 3rd date, just was chatting with her mother about dogs today, 25 years later. |
Anonymous
| I posted something identical 2 months ago. I didn't see the guy again. A few weeks later, a different guy messaged me who is now my boyfriend and I'm falling madly in love. If I had continued on with the first guy, I probably wouldn't have been open or met or felt available to the second guy. Who honestly I might marry. Don't settle. You deserve everything. |
Anonymous
| The "click" of mutual interests and viewpoints is more important than the "wham" of instant purely physical lust. Lust is infamous for burning itself out quickly, but attraction based on other things often lasts much, much longer. |
Anonymous
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I couldn't just have sex with anyone. Sounds like he does. He's probably got genital herpes.
Move on. |